8 helpful hints

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting somebody else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life, WD40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, it needs WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, it needs Duct Tape.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily thought:
Some people are like slinkies: Not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

HAHAHAHA that was a good one!!
thanks:)

So, according to # 3, if I pee in the sink, and trim my mustache and goatee over the toilet, my wife will be happy?

Somehow- I doubt it!

Bigjimbob, you'll be number one in her book and she'll probably wave your number at you too!

quote:

Originally posted by MilwFoodlovers

1. 7. You only need two tools in life, WD40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, it needs WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, it needs Duct Tape.

in the world of marching band directors, it's: valve oil and duct tape. There ain't nothing you can't fix in 10 seconds or less with those items.

Scorereader, valve oil is good for the brass players but a lighter is of more use to the wood winds. Duct tape however is universal.

MikeS.

quote:

Originally posted by MikeS.

Scorereader, valve oil is good for the brass players but a lighter is of more use to the wood winds. Duct tape however is universal.

MikeS.

valve oil works in an emergency on anything. even woodwinds.
Although, truth beknown, I actually carried around singer sewing oil and duct tape - but singer sewing oil doesn't have the same ring as valve oil.

quote:

Originally posted by MikeS.

Scorereader, valve oil is good for the brass players but a lighter is of more use to the wood winds.

Of course, cork grease is even better -- if you play clarinet...

quote:

Originally posted by pogophiles

quote:

Originally posted by MikeS.

Scorereader, valve oil is good for the brass players but a lighter is of more use to the wood winds.

Of course, cork grease is even better -- if you play clarinet...

wasn't referring to the corks. I was referring to the key mechanisms, which occasionally freeze up on the marching band field in November. When the cork falls off, the duct tape (or electrical tape from the percusssionists) comes into play.