A Hot Dog Seller's Story

Hi, cheese, onion, mustard, ketchup....I hear and I obey have become part and parcel to The Real American Hot Dog Co. London UK. We had a name and were waiting for the fame. 4th of July 7-11 Picadilly Circus store promotion came our way. This gave me the opportunity to meet 1. homeless people "giz us a hotdog, I'm homeless and this is my pitch, mate" followed by "giz us a free one" NO! 2. dogs of the homeless "how about a free one for the dog" NO!3. Drug addicts 4. Friends of Drug addicts 4. Drunks 5. Drunk friends of the homeless 6. Ladies of the Evening 7. Seriously crazy people 8. Middle Englanders "there should be a law against...now get this....me. Not a law against serving the only real hotdog anywhere around but ME Personally! Wow. We did this for 3 weeks and just gave up. 7-11 paid us but it just wasn't worth the abuse.

Spring & Summer

All was not lost.....I got a phone call from the American School in London. They have a sport program (little league) with 300 American kids with parents who make way way too much money. They also come with attitude. "Are these real American Star Spangle Banner Hot Dogs Red White and Blue?" No mam, they're fine German Frankfurters (Herta Brand-great dogs!). "Oh then they're not real American Hot Dogs are they?" Well, mam, Oscar Meyer wasn't a Sioux Indian Chief was he? (Bad public relations move). Good News! The kids loved us! The parents (besides that one ass^&%&&) loved us. Learning curve; mustard from different parts of the States determines just how much appreciation one gets. We'd do £500.00 in 4 hours. We looked like the Tazmanian Devil of the Hot Dog World. I thought of getting permanent back surgery to create a permanent curve of the spine so as to save time opening cases. I love the America School in London. Great Kids.....Great Parents....Great Venue (games played in a little village playing fields). Maybe the best thing about this venue is: 1. no homeless children 2. no drunk kids 3. no underage drug addicts 4. no dogs of homeless children 5. no child prostitutes....oh and the money came in handy also.

more later

You cannot be making this up as it is too funny!