A silly little serving question

Hi again,

A friend and I were talking about something the other day; I'd like your input. When you're dining in a restaurant, and someone is finished eating and the other/s aren't, is it good service for the server to clear the plate at that time? Or, as some sources say, is it better to leave it until the other/s are done eating to avoid awkwardness? Like, if the plate was cleared, the person who finished sits there feeling like maybe they were gluttonous or have nothing to do while the others eat, and the person eating feels like they were slow or something (maybe pressured to hurry up?).

I think it's attentive service to clear the plate, and is good to leave less there to be bussed later.

What d'ya think?

ASK if they want the plate removed and ASK if they would like anything.

  Hmmm, Interesting topic. As an amazingly on the ball waitress ( ) I can tell you that when someone wants their plate cleared, it plainly shows; Even if it's against policy I'll still clear. I like my table nice and tidy when I'm eating out and that kind of extends to my waitressing......

Wait until everyone is done otherwise it's as if the server is trying to rush the meal so they can turn the table.

But what makes me crazy is being asked how my food is while I'm eating and usually with a mouth full of something.

Or recently while at Lone Star for lunch I was told by a server that I needed to cut my meat to see if it was properly cooked. This while I was still eating an onion blossom.

I asked her if she suspected it were improperly cooked and she said no, so I said I'll let you know. GOD.

Edit to add this http://www.chow.com/stories/11103

Thanks for the input! I see there are representatives from both sides here.

Jack, it's interesting that you mention the steak cutting thing. I've been reading up on 'good service' and have found that little gem in there. I enjoyed reading that link you posted and it gives me 'food' for thought.

I think it's awkward, to say the least, for a server to ask the guest to cut the steak right there, too. I don't like that idea AT ALL.


~Bonnie

Dr of BBQ


Wait until everyone is done otherwise it's as if the server is trying to rush the meal so they can turn the table.

But what makes me crazy is being asked how my food is while I'm eating and usually with a mouth full of something.

Or recently while at Lone Star for lunch I was told by a server that I needed to cut my meat to see if it was properly cooked. This while I was still eating an onion blossom.

I asked her if she suspected it were improperly cooked and she said no, so I said I'll let you know. GOD.

Edit to add this http://www.chow.com/stories/11103

I have been asked how  my food is before I have taken the first mouthful.

NYPizzaNut yes and it makes me crazy. LOL...It's like the server has to ask so they just want to get it over with so they can take a break and disappear like a sock in the dryer. LMAO

And Canajuns I think it's an excellent question and I'll bet it generates a ton of reply's.

Jack

Thanks Jack. BTW the link you posted led me down all sorts of bunny trails detailing that topic. I had no idea that it is such a contentious topic! From what I see, opinions are split 50/50....but fine dining restaurants definitely are expected to leave the plates till all are done. Basically, I'm thinking that at our (casual) restaurant we'll do as suggested and simply ASK.

in a restaurant setting, proper etiquette dictates that the plates be cleared AFTER ALL patrons have finished eating that course - not as each individual finishes their meal.
 
now, if one of the patrons hands you their empty plate, or indicates that you may take it, or puts said plate at the edge of the table (if space permits) by all means, do so.
 
in a banquet setting, all bets are off - plates are cleared as soon as it's noticed the patron is done eating (no time to waste in this kind of situation).

joclyn


in a restaurant setting, proper etiquette dictates that the plates be cleared AFTER ALL patrons have finished eating that course - not as each individual finishes their meal.
 
now, if one of the patrons hands you their empty plate, or indicates that you may take it, or puts said plate at the edge of the table (if space permits) by all means, do so.
 
in a banquet setting, all bets are off - plates are cleared as soon as it's noticed the patron is done eating (no time to waste in this kind of situation).

 
This I think covers it.

NYPIzzaNut, thanks for the PM. Due to recent changes in the board setup, I'm not able to PM you back, but wanted to thank you for the note and link. What a great place!

My apologies to regular listmembers here for having to post this here.

NO question is SILLY, and especially not that one.
Good question..
In addition to the expectation of getting good food out fast and friendly.
I think it all boils down to reading your guests from beginning to end..
A larger table constant pre bussing, I myself always clear dirty plates..OMG,  I just thought of this .It sounds harsh but not meant to be just an old mother, grandmother, server, bartender, chick....".If by the end of the meal, you don't know what is good for your guest, you don't know them very well."....WOW,,  that is pretty good....Really  not being mean or anything..
Still, really good question made me think. and I thought I would get any serving question BOOM..

Knowing your guest or being able to read them is very, very important. Great point.

If I'm deeply engrossed in a conversation, please don't interrupt me.

On the other hand if I look like I might need some attention please stop and ask, but never, never as they do at some steakhouses (don't mess with Texas)  try to sit at an empty chair next to me and strike up a conversation. You are a server and I am a guest.

I'm not lonely nor do I need a new friend.LMAO

Jack

Some look at that as if you are welcoming them as you would someone in your home..A " Guest" I see both view on that one..Many times I would get into long conversations with a guest, and they end up asking me to sit...depending on the establishment, environment the whole shabang, also dictates manorism...Steak House, I may have squatted, to get to eye level, if helping with menu decisions, older guest hard of hearing or to hear, a child..ect...High End Seafood house...never sit..never lay check down with dirty plates on the table.....Some places want you to drop the check at lunch at 1st check back, because many people are in a hurry, others NO WAY  they don't want to rush the table..

In a Family style place get the empty plates out of the way. Especially if children are involved. Easy enough to do when drinks are being refilled. Customers are looking for a reason to get upset. Its just the way people are. If you pick up the plates they get pissed and if you dont they get pissed. They are not happy if they are not mad at something. They should be happy they are able to be served. The conversation that they might break up is most likely negative anyway. People need to lighten up a little. If you dont want the plates removed just tell the server. She/He is not a mind reader. Use some common courtesy and inform the server. Instead of backstabbing them when they dont meet your every need. As Ferris Beuller says. Life moves pretty fast.Ifyou don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it....Russ

Well said Russ!

My prob is the server trying to take my plate while there is still food on it. I use my fork and threaten to stab them in their hand when they do that. I wouldn't  really stab them though. But... they don't know that. :~)
Joe

Oh, and I say "go ahead... make my day!"

I couldn't agree more about intrusive, overly familiar staff. While I'm in a restaurant, the servers are my employees and I've no interest in socializing with them! I'm with friends or just enjoying a quiet meal on my own. I just want them to serve unobtrusively. I don't care what their names are and, for God's sake, if somebody hands me a menu and stands, pencil in hand, waiting to take my order, I know he's my server!

Having said all that, if I'm a regular customer and the server has gotten to know me, I don't mind a quick personal greeting or even a bit of conversation. That's a completely different situation. I've a lot of respect for food service workers, having been in the business, and I know how hard they work. Just let me set the rules of engagement!

Rick I agree 100%.

I wrote this once and deleted it but I have such strong feelings on this topic, I find it difficult to ignore.


Russ I agree on 90% of your post but on this one I think you wrong.  You said “If you pick up the plates they get pissed and if you don’t they get pissed. They are not happy if they are not mad at something. They should be happy they are able to be served.”


I would be the first to say there are a lot of jerk customers in the world and I promise you I have more than my share every day. I have customers that expect me to read the menu to them, and I won’t do that. Some days it’s so bad that when I get a polite friendly customer, I want to give them the food free.


But that said I have had far too many great experiences in restaurants to not know good service from bad service.


I used to be on the board of directors of the National Radio Talk Show Host Association,  and while attending a meeting in Chicago, we had been working for about 8 hours and the only break was a fast cold cut sandwich chips and a soft drink during a working lunch.

After the all day meeting I was ready for a beer, no make that several beers. We went to the Pump Room and after the Maître de. explained the menu; he asked if anyone would require anything special. I said yes, I needed another  bottle of Bud Light and I never wanted it to get more than half empty. He smiled and said he would take care of that.

As the wait staff took orders from the other board members I became aware of a young shiny faced Irish looking kid (maybe 16 or 17) that was standing just behind and to my right. I looked around a little further and right next to Brian (I got to know his name) was a bus tub with a case of Bud Light iced down and Brian had a towel and a bottle opener.


Brian, forgot once during the meal and another talk show host poked fun at Brian about slacking his duties. Brian was very embarrassed and started to apologize but I told him don’t worry about it. Some of the others at the table drank Bud Light also and when they asked Brian for a BL Brian would look to me and of course I laughed and said yes it's ok. We had great fun that night.


And when we left that night I gave Brian a giant tip. I mean big enough it took his breath away.  And when we walked outside and they started to bring our cars around Brian was still just behind me and to my right, he asked if I was returning to the pump room soon, and if so would I please ask for him. LOL…….


 A great night, with fantastic service. And the 7 tomato salad was to die for.

Jack

Jack,

Russ I agree on 90% of your post but on this one I think you wrong.  You said “If you pick up the plates they get pissed and if you don’t they get pissed. They are not happy if they are not mad at something. They should be happy they are able to be served.”


I would be the first to say there are a lot of jerk customers in the world and I promise you I have more than my share every day. I have customers that expect me to read the menu to them, and I won’t do that. Some days it’s so bad that when I get a polite friendly customer, I want to give them the food free.

I guess what I was saying is sort of the same. I think we live in a world where selfishness is more prevalent than at any other time before. For some reason this group of people have little regard for others and expect something extra. If you say Black they say White and if you would have said White they would have said Black. And I think people forget a lot of times that servers especially in a mid-level restaurant are just simple people trying to make a living dealing with these aholes all day long. It has to be difficult over the course of time to ignore it. I have always said that to be successful in a service business or really any business your expectations must be higher than your customers. However today a select percentage of people expect something that does not exist nor do they know what they should be. And when these fictitious expectations are not reached they want someones hid for it or some sort of compensation. They have an agenda in the first place and that is there purpose in life. It is really pretty sad. These cowards take it out on the weak by attacking the server or service provider who have to take it in fear of losing their job. I actually think these people justify their actions and compensation there given in some twisted way. While be it a small percentage of the whole it is much larger than it was 10 or 20 years ago and it is growing at a faster pace. I see it every day in my business. This small percentage can be very costly to a business. In the last five years I have had to completely change the way I run my business to protect myself...Russ