A wife was making a breakfast ...

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

“Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL!
Put in some more butter!
Oh my GOD!
You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!
Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter.
Oh my GOD!
WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They’re going to STICK!
Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never!
Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind?
Don’t forget to salt them.
You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”

The wife stared at him. “What in the HELL is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”

The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”

How true.

Makes me think of James Thurber's "Unicorn in the Garden" which I once committed to memory for an acting class (I was a lousy actor but everyone loved the story).

http://btflatt.tripod.com/stories/thurb1.htm

There's a terrific animated short film of the story with Thurber's drawings, too.

I still like the episode of "I Love Lucy"...Little Ricky Learns to Play the Drum. After days of banging away at it, the toast popped up, the eggs flipped and the entire breakfast was done to the same rhythm as Little Ricky's drum banging. A classic.