An ALMOST Darwin Award Recipient!
Most of you are familiar with the infamous Darwin Awards and the creative ways that most of the recipients achieve their status as a Darwin Award recipient (posthumously).
Well now let me tell you of a recent ALMOST award recipient.
"The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown or Pumpkin Head rides again! or Gourd to Death"
Each year the ALMOST recipient loves to carve pumpkins, and loves to trick the trick or treaters, loves to decorate his house for the annual beggar's night.
The ALMOST recipient thought it would be a great costume idea to get a LARGE pumpkin, hollow it out and cut a large hole in the bottom of the pumpkin so that his head would fit inside. Then he could carve it and wear it at the annual Halloween parade at a local town.
So time came for the ALMOST recipient to create his master piece, the hole was cut in the bottom and the goop was all scraped out. Now came the time to try it on and mark the area for the eyes, nose, mouth.
So with NO ONE else at home, he lifted this large pumpkin over his head and slid it down over his face.
Then IT happened, with the suddeness of a broken shoelace, this horrible sucking sound occured and the pumpkin suddenly moved no further, it had sealed itself around the head and face of the ALMOST recipient. Creating a vaccuum and causing the ALMOST recipient to become a little panicked. He could not breathe, He could not get the pumpkin unsealed from his face, he was really starting to panic. he had forgot to cut ANY air holes first.
After what seemed to be an eternity inside the pumpkin of death, finally he was able to wriggle a finger under the pumpkin and released the vaccuum. the inrush of air was intoxicating and life giving.
He struggled for another moment or two before gaining the upper hand and finally got the pumpkin off his head.
yes folks a few moments longer and the world would have reported...
"Man Gourd To Death" and other such funny headlines.
To this day the ALMOST recipient has vowed NEVER to put another pumpkin over his head, he has stayed away from Psycho Killer Gourds and such other crazy vegetables.
How do I know this story to be true?????
CajunKing was the ALMOST recipient