As the Stomach Turns

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Kristi S.
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/23 16:34:15 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by redtressed

I'm feeling rather giddy and sophomoric after watching a 6 hour video of "The Best of Monty Python" whilst doing household chores today. One of their skits "The Exploding Gourmand" where Terry Jones is gorging himself out in a fancy dining spot,and growing stouter before our very eyes. The snarky and smarmy waiter portrayed by John Cleese very naughtily urges the grotesque Jones to finish with an after dinner mint and Jones literally explodes over one and all.


How about the Monty Python (regular show) skit with the "dirty fork"? That always gets a laugh from me.
#31
berndog
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/23 16:38:11 (permalink)
This didn't happen to me personally, but a few years a go some young workers were arrested at the Burger King at the Scottsville (west of Rochester) service area on the New York State Thruway for putting oven cleaner, urine, and spit on hamburgers at various times. I think they got caught for altering the burger of a sherriffs deputy. He didn't keep any evidence (must have been very hungry), but got very ill after eating it. One of the crew talked and the others were found guilty and at least one of them served some time.

The worst experience I had was with a sick waitress at Denny's who kept coughing and sneezing without covering her mouth. My wife was disgusted. It was also very hard to gewt her attention when we needed anything. When we left, the manager asked how everything was as I paid the bill. I answered "The FOOD was excellent" in the nicest sarcastic tone I could manage. Wife gave me a dirty look for dissing the service.
#32
Oneiron339
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/23 16:42:16 (permalink)
There was a thread on Fark.com a few weeks ago about waiters and cooks telling of stories of how they "got back" at customers who stiffed them, or were obnoxious, etc. Some of these were pretty nasty, but it makes you think how these folks rationalize what they do is OK to justify their vengeance. I wouldn't think of listing the nasty stunts because they were just too gross. And these weren't just the waiters, there were some managers involved also. Many were criminal in nature, not just a prank. Caveat emptor, people!
#33
Willly
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/23 16:44:08 (permalink)
Vivca Zapata in Westport CT about 15 years ago. My wife and I are sitting at the bar on a Sunday after noon. We order another round of margaritas. At the same time another patron goes upstairs to the restrooms whic are right above the the bar area. The bartender is walking our drinks over to us when a stream of water comes from the ceiling in the bar area. She sticks her hand in the stream, brings her hand to her nose, and takes a sniff. "Don't worry, it's only water," she said. We walked out. We didn't go back for at least five years, when we were sure that mgmt had changed and that repairs had been made.
#34
jvsmom
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/23 17:36:37 (permalink)
Oh, boy - I had forgotten about this one, but reading all these posts just reminded me.

When I was in high school, my best friend worked at a burger chain which will remain Mcnameless. Anyway, one day, she told me, one of the burger builders told another one he would give him a dollar for every burger he spit in. I think she said he made $15 before getting caught. And fired.
#35
bethgrd
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/27 14:47:51 (permalink)
As a health inspector, I see it all. I have to say the chinese restaurants are the worst in terms of sanitation and food safety. The problem is, many foods are partially prepared ahead of time and then stored in the usually too small walkin refrigerator piled on top of each other or on the floor(usually lined with greasy layers of cardboard to prevent slippage). There is great opportunity for cross contamination between raw and cooked food and temperature abuse.One just hopes that the deep fryer temps take care of many problems. You can usually not tell how clean or safe a kitchen is by the look of the dining room. Many dining rooms look pristine, but dare to walk through the swinging doors to the kitchen and you may be unpleasantly suprised. I inspect a few Thai restaurants that are very clean and food safe, though. beth g
#36
Rusty246
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/27 15:12:43 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by bethgrd

As a health inspector, I see it all. I have to say the chinese restaurants are the worst in terms of sanitation and food safety. The problem is, many foods are partially prepared ahead of time and then stored in the usually too small walkin refrigerator piled on top of each other or on the floor(usually lined with greasy layers of cardboard to prevent slippage). There is great opportunity for cross contamination between raw and cooked food and temperature abuse.One just hopes that the deep fryer temps take care of many problems. You can usually not tell how clean or safe a kitchen is by the look of the dining room. Many dining rooms look pristine, but dare to walk through the swinging doors to the kitchen and you may be unpleasantly suprised. I inspect a few Thai restaurants that are very clean and food safe, though. beth g

My husband used to deliver produce to a large portion of the restaurants here, which included rotating and putting up the produce he delivered. There were many restaurants he would suggest I did not eat at. Mainly, oriental.
My girlfriend and I were having lunch one day(before the warning)at one of these places and a mouse actually ran across the buffet. Hint sushigirl, N.W.13th St. They were closed down but reopened. Also, walking into one of my FAVORITE places to eat here, I passed by the "grease trap" and a mouse was right on top of the trap. I mentioned this to the waitress and was told they had been seen before. At least this one was outside! Right???
#37
stormycat
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/27 15:22:44 (permalink)
In highschool I was employed at a place called The Great American Bagel, some of you may be familiar. On slow nights I used to hang out in one of the back offices and read the comment cards. Many of the complaints involved the discovery foreign objects in the food. Sometimes people would tape the items to the comment cards. Some of the ones I remember were:

A human tooth in cream cheese;
A black painted fingernail baked into a cheddar herb bagel;
A dead mouse in a bag of bagel chips;
A ring and an earing in cream cheese;
Steel wool in just about everything the place made.

That place is down right nasty. I cannot speak for all of them, but I worked at the original in Westmont, IL.
#38
ahmicchick
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/28 17:15:36 (permalink)
I'm certain that I've had summer camp experiences that fit this topic, but apparently I've blocked them from memory. Instead, I offer the words to one of my favorite camp songs (I've fudged them a bit, this is to the best of my recollection):

There was a man in someplace, his name was Gunderbeck
He liked to cook up sauerkraut and sausages with speck
He opened up a butcher shop, the finest ever seen
And in it put a patented Gunderbeck Machine

Oh Gunderbeck, Oh Gunderbeck, how could you be so mean
To ever have invented such a horrible machine
For pussycats and long-tailed rats will nevermore be seen
They're all ground up for sausage meat in Gunderbeck's Machine

One day a very little boy came walking in the shop
And ordered up some sausages and half a case of pop
While he was a-waiting he whistled up a tune
And all the little sausages came dancing round the room

Oh Gunderbeck, Oh Gunderbeck, how could you be so mean
To ever have invented such a horrible machine
For pussycats and long-tailed rats will nevermore be seen
They're all ground up for sausage meat in Gunderbeck's Machine

One night there was a problem, the machine it would not go
So Gunderbeck he climbed inside, the reason for to know
His wife she had a nightmare, and walking in her sleep
She gave the crank a heck of a yank and Gunderbeck was meat

Oh Gunderbeck...
#39
Vince Macek
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/28 18:33:22 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by Kristi S.

quote:
Originally posted by redtressed

I'm feeling rather giddy and sophomoric after watching a 6 hour video of "The Best of Monty Python" whilst doing household chores today. One of their skits "The Exploding Gourmand" where Terry Jones is gorging himself out in a fancy dining spot,and growing stouter before our very eyes. The snarky and smarmy waiter portrayed by John Cleese very naughtily urges the grotesque Jones to finish with an after dinner mint and Jones literally explodes over one and all.


How about the Monty Python (regular show) skit with the "dirty fork"? That always gets a laugh from me.


That and the hygiene squad visiting the chocolate manufacturer.

Puking probably shouldn't count, but I sure remember my sister doing so some 40 years ago (and I'm sure she appreciates my sharing) - it was at a place our uncle was running, unfortunately.

My mom had eaten at one of these pass-it-around southern places where the waitress was taking away the leftover fried chicken - explaining 'we use it in the chicken salad'. She never went back...
#40
Tristan Indiana
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/28 18:57:05 (permalink)
My parents took a trip to the carribean back in the early 60s. Part of the vacation included a deep sea fishing trip. The captain offered to make gin and tonics for his guests which my parents graciously accepted. One of his crew had been cutting up bait with a large knife. When he finished he reached over and sliced up a lime for the drinks with the fishy knife. My parents use to laugh when telling their story of their bait and tonics.
#41
Route 11
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/02/28 19:24:43 (permalink)
I've found a Band-Aid in home fries before...
And a twist tie in my salad...
And as a joke, I poured ham gravy into someone's ice tea and they drank it!

My mother used to talk about encountering some green hot dogs at a Stuckeys,
#42
felix4067
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/03/01 01:58:23 (permalink)
Geez...mine seems tame compared to what I've read (NOT that I'm complaining!!!)

I was out on a first date one night, and ordered chicken breast with some kind of sauce. I was a bit nervous, and not really paying attention as I cut my food. First mouthful, fine...a little chewier than I'd have expected, but sometimes chicken comes out rubbery, and it wasn't enough to send it back. Second bite was COLD. I sat there with it in my mouth for a minute, and then thought the heck with it, if he doesn't like me after this, I don't want him around. Spit it out, and discovered other than the outside 1/2 inch or so, the entire thing was RAW. They offered me a new plate, which I declined, and made do with a salad. Then we got the bill, and while they took the price of my meal off, they charged us for the salad!
#43
jerseygirl127
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/03/07 09:28:21 (permalink)
OK.. i must have been very lucky to this point in my life.. i have never found anything THIS nasty in my food/candy/drinks or anywhere near anything that i've eaten. HOWEVER after reading all these posts-- i may become a hermit and only eat MY home cooked and prepared food so that i know what is going in to it-- some of these stories are too much....... and i will definitely stay away from chinese places.. they seem to have the most problems.. UGH.. no thank you-- don't want glass salad or toe soup....... thanks for helping me to start a diet!! HAHAHAHA
#44
essvee
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/03/07 12:59:08 (permalink)
I vote for the tooth in the fried rice. I have a strong stomach (it gets a lot of exercise) but that is beyond the friggin pale. I'm still shuddering all the way over here on page two.

Bit down on an actual screw at Mifune, a respected noodle joint in SF Japantown. The management acted as if it were my fault.

Way better than that is going to buy takeout dim sum at Louie's Dim Sum in SF Chinatown. For a while (I think they're gone now) the place, along with the requisite filthy floors and other stuff, had 8 or 10 kittycats lying on the counter, sitting on chairs, scampering around the customer's feet... It was surreal to say the least. I bought dim sum there anyway because it was so good. I had a theory for a while that the dirtier the kitchen, the tastier the Chinese food... I'm too old for that kind of japery now.
#45
lleechef
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/03/07 18:22:23 (permalink)
I hate to admit this but I was once chef in a very well known and popular restaurant in the Boston area. Somewhere along the line the owner (who was a part-time gangster) decided that the scallops (in mesh 40-lb. bags) should be kept in the ice machine. All that nice scallop juice oozing onto the ice. So those of us in the kitchen would not put ice in our sodas and would tell our friends the same. One night some unsuspecting barfly ordered a Sea Breeze...and found.....a raw scallop floating in the drink! The bartender calmly replied, "why yes, that's the new garnish"!
#46
Green_Chile
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/04/12 08:44:53 (permalink)
This thread brings back memories of my 10th grade American History class (It was actually a 9th grade course which I failed the first time through...but passed with an A the second time round). Mr Bennett(my favorite teacher ever), was a real character and always made History fascinating, was teaching us about the way the food industry was back before all the very necessary regulations we have now-a-days. We learned all about horrific conditions in slaughter houses and meat-packing plants across the country back in the day. I won't go into the gruesome details, but the cool thing was when he brought some borrowed bottled goods in one day. There was a bottle of some soda with a rather deteriorated piece of branch in it. Also another bottle with a very deteriorated mouse carcass . A jar of pickles with shards of metal...some actually half-embedded into pickles. All these items were older and seemed aged...he said he had borrowed them from a fellow teacher. I learned quite a bit while studying that subject...more than I ever wanted to know..

My Pop is a well known Choco-holic and was just biting into one of his favs...a Hershey's bar with almonds.....He got half a bite into one bar from a fresh 6-pack and declared "What-the-@*%#!" He broke some of the chocolate off the end and in the middle of the bar was a solid rubber-like plastic chunk. We actually kept that bar in the fridge quite awhile thinking we could sue and strike it rich. Nothing ever came of it...either we are really decent folk or just a bunch of procrastinators! Maybe both
#47
kathy_in_wlsv
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/11/05 01:32:42 (permalink)
Several years ago when I was still waiting on table, I worked in a place that had a reputation of being a very nice place in a near by town, but in reality the kitchen was a foul hell hole.

I needed to serve some jello, and when I pulled a pre portioned serving out of the cooler I discovered it was moldy. I threw it in the garbage, whereupon the owner of the restaurant pulled it out and washed it off in the dishwashing sink. He told me it was fine, and to serve it... Somehow it slid off the plate and I accidently stepped on it...

I have bitten into glass in the Hotel dining room of the Conaught Hotel in Hamilton, Ontario. Not learning my lesson I went back and was served a meal in which the food was still icy in the center, and not one thing was as we ordered, except we did get beef as ordered. Wrong potatos, wrong salad, wrong drinks..

I found 2 inch lengths of drinking straws in my salad at a Pizza Hut. the inside of the straw appeared to have cola in it. At the same Pizza Hut, they ran out of sausage and peperoni on a saturday afternoon and said they couldn't go to the grocery store next door to buy supplies as it was against policy.
#48
Wallyum
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/11/05 03:34:56 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by lleechef

Chomping down on a piece of stainless steel scrubbie in my fajita. AND chomping down on stainless steel scrubbie in the black beans. Same place. Same night. EWWWWWW.


Same thing happened to me at a local Bob Evans. The thing was in my hash browns and actually embedded itself in my gums.
#49
Wallyum
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/11/05 03:40:58 (permalink)
My personal worst was at a local bar and grill that serves the world's most questionable quasi-Mexican food. My wife, daughter and I decided to eat close to home one night and ordered chips and salsa before the meal. Several scoops into the salsa, I came up with the biggest horsefly that I've ever seen. Damn near the size of the last joint on my little finger. I said something to the waitress, who didn't seem at all surprised, but asked if we wanted another bowl. These days we make the extra effort to drive somewhere decent.
(TJ, if you read this, THIS is why I spend so much time over your way.)
#50
Sundancer7
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/11/05 05:41:24 (permalink)
The Sundancer was having lunch at the Hyatt in downtown Atlanta a couple of years back. I was enjoying my salad when I happened to glance down and noticed a half worm still wiggling.

I am sure it was not the first time I ingested something foreign but it definately made an impact. I had guest with me of a business nature from Spain that was one of our larger accounts and I did not want to make a scene. I professed a lack of hunger and did not proceed with the rest of the meal.

After they had completed their meal with no knowledge of my problem, I suggested we walk across the street to the Omni hotel which at that time was the tallest hotel in the USA and maybe still is. They have a revolving bar/restaurant on top where the view of Atlanta is super. We did two trips around and after that I went to get the car in the enclosed parking lot across the street. I suggested they wait in the front of the hotel while I retrieved the car. When I reached the car, I noticed the trunk looked funny. Upon further inspection, I found they car had been broken into and all the contents stolen including our guest's luggage, passports and all ID.

We did not do a lot of business with them after that.

Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN
#51
jellybear
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/11/05 08:38:01 (permalink)
Another Atlanta Story,My Father and Me and two others were at a Steak and Ale having dinner and it was close to the bar area.I was in mid bite of my Filet and Lobster when I see this 300 lb.Black Man start running towards our table with his hands over his mouth you know whats gonna happen here!,Well he proceded to hurl and I mean PROJECTILE STYLE what ever he had consumed in the last 24 hours at our feet.One big collective moan could be heard as we al just sat stunned.And all the waiter did was to throw a tablecloth over the mess as if we were gonna finish our meal!Well needless to say the meal was compted and I forever carry that night in my memory!And that Black Dude kept on getting it out the door and down the street!
#52
tmiles
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/11/05 09:27:49 (permalink)
Double date at a nice restaurant in Washington DC. My friend who was on his first and last date with my sister drank too much during the long wait for the food. As we left the restaurant he blew lunch on the sidewalk in front of the dozens of people waiting to get in. He said in a loud voice, "I told you that meat had spoiled". The line was gone in seconds.
#53
cedwin
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/11/05 09:56:44 (permalink)
I was having lunch with my sister at an ice cream parlor (no longer in existance) and we were both eating ice cream sundaes. Mine was simple fudge, chocolate ice cream, and vanilla ice cream. About half way through my sister asked where the strawberry came from in my sundae, and I quizzically asked her why she asked and she pointed to my mouth and said where is all the red on your teeth coming from. I put a finger in my mouth and found it to be bleeding quite profusely! I looked carefully into my sundae and started noticing pieces of glass fragments in the ice cream. Needless to say, we alerted the management, who apologized profusely but didn't offer to pick up our check. We left, my mouth recovered, any glass consumed must have passed harmlessly, I contemplated suing, and then noticed three months later they were out of business.
#54
michaelgemmell
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/11/05 15:57:36 (permalink)
This reminds me of a story someone told me many years ago. My friend had taken this girl to the movies. The girl wanted to sit in the first row of the balcony. Midway through the movie, she takes an opened can of vegetable soup out of her purse, screams, "Oh, no, I'm gonna be sick!" and upends the soup over the railing. General confusion ensues. This is like all the stories my dad told us kids about knocking over outhouses--"But don't YOU do that!"
#55
Spudnut
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/11/05 16:53:34 (permalink)
Two examples, the first of which pales in comparison to much of what other folks here have experienced:

1) I was about 14, I guess, and at a breakfast buffet with my parents. My father approaches the young man tending to the omelette station, having noticed that he was holding the spatula under his arm, with the serving portion directly under his arm pit. My father suggested that this wasn't the most hygenic way to hold the spatula. The kid gave him a dirty look, and said nothing. My dad, God bless him, was too nice to make a scene. He simply went to the manager, expressed his concern/dismay, and we left.

2) I spent my junior year of college in Paris. The night we landed, after a many, many hour journey, my fellow students and I finally arrived to our temporary housing and immediately found the only neighborhood place that was still open so late -- a Tunisian restaurant. We ordered, and folks started nibbling on bread. The bread looked like rye bread, but I was surprised to find rye bread in Paris. Upon closer inspection, the "rye bread" started moving. It was ants. Many, many ants.
#56
jvsmom
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/11/05 17:52:34 (permalink)
This wasn't a restaurant experience, but it was definite stomach-turner:

Back when Slim-Fast used to come in cardboard cartons, I bought a few of them on sale and had them in my fridge. Early one morning I opened up a carton for a quick breakfast and took a swig right from the carton. It was immediately apparent that something wasn't quite right, although I couldn't tell exactly what, so I took a glass and started pouring the contents of the carton into it. Well, a little bit of the liquid came out, and after a few seconds, out plopped this big piece of grey, slimy . . . neither I nor my husband could even begin to guess what it was. "Fish skin" was the closest description we could come up with.

I called the 800 number on the carton later that day. The woman who answered asked for my name and address so she could send me some "replacement coupons." WAS SHE CRAZY?!?!?!? Did she actually think I wanted to get more of that? Uh, no. I told her I had no interest in replacing it, but wanted my money back at the very least. She told me I had to put the fish skin in a plastic bag and send it to them in order to get a reimbursement. Yeah, right.

I threw the whole mess out, along with all the other cartons I still had, and never bought that slop again.
#57
carlton pierre
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2004/11/05 22:52:51 (permalink)
I delivered pizzas for a national chain a few years ago. One night a customer who'd been eating at the salad bar brought me a salad with an insect crawling around in his salad. He thought I was the manager. I explained I would take it to the manager. The manager laughed and said the customer should have been charged extra, and then refused to go out front and face the customer. I just left and made a delivery.

carl reitz
#58
RKY Camper
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2005/08/07 20:59:27 (permalink)
I have Gunderbeck in my Brownie Camp Songbook (am a Brownie Leader) and I can fill in the holes for you. This is a great song for around the campfire!

There was a fat old Dutchman, his name was Gunderbeck.
He used to like his sausages with sourkraut and speck.
#59
queenb
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RE: As the Stomach Turns 2005/08/08 20:00:35 (permalink)
I remember when I had just moved out of my Mom and Dad's house, my roommate and I found ourselves short of money a lot, so we always bought a huge bag of rice when we had a few bucks. On one of our "poor" days, my roomie had cooked a pot of rice, and I grabbed a bowl full, sat down, and took a bite, then suddenly saw that she had put black pepper in the rice, but I didn't taste pepper. On closer inspection the "pepper" was hundreds of tiny little eyes, or heads, or 'something' on the ends of the little white rice-sized maggot/s worms that had in fact actually eaten up most of the rice in the bottom of our giant bag.
Note to self: never try to get by with one 60 watt bulb in a kitchen.
#60
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