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 Asking For Tips

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Judi2653

  • Total Posts: 1
  • Joined: 1/14/2005
  • Location: Wilbraham, MA
Asking For Tips Fri, 07/8/05 4:38 PM (permalink)
This is something which has driven me crazy for a long time. After my husband and I have had our dinner and the server comes for the bill, s/he will almost invariably ask "do you need change?"

We tip well, but I feel this question is basically asking if s/he can keep the change. Probably they can, but I really resent being put in that position.

A better statement, as I have gently told many servers is "I'll be right back with your change." This allows us the option of getting our change or saying "no, that's fine; we're all set.

Everybody would be happy.

I know servers are busy, but I think that asking if I need change is tacky and a blatant request for a tip, which they would get anyway.

This has happened in some very upscale restaurants, and I think it's terrible.
 
#1
    nvb

    • Total Posts: 468
    • Joined: 12/5/2004
    • Location: dfhbgmhmy, MN
    RE: Asking For Tips Fri, 07/8/05 4:58 PM (permalink)
    This burns my butt, also. My usual reply is "Since you asked, yes."

    Tip jars are another butt burner.
     
    #2
      RKendall48

      • Total Posts: 1
      • Joined: 7/29/2003
      • Location: Elgin, IL
      RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 07/9/05 7:25 AM (permalink)

      A better statement, as I have gently told many servers is "I'll be right back with your change." This allows us the option of getting our change or saying "no, that's fine; we're all set.

      Everybody would be happy.

      I agree...makes the custermer feel they made the decision.

      ~ron~
       
      #3
        wheregreggeats.com

        RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 07/9/05 8:53 AM (permalink)
        The qustion might be valid if you have put down an odd pile of bills.

        If you hand them a hundred dollar bill, the question is much more inappropriate.

         
        #4
          Scallion1

          • Total Posts: 418
          • Joined: 7/20/2004
          • Location: Yonkers, NY
          RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 07/9/05 10:46 AM (permalink)


          This has happened in some very upscale restaurants, and I think it's terrible.


          no truly "upscale" restaurant would permit a server to do this more than once.
           
          #5
            dreamzpainter

            • Total Posts: 1609
            • Joined: 2/6/2005
            • Location: jacksonville, FL
            RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 07/9/05 2:32 PM (permalink)
            while annoying it pales in comparison to tips added into the bill
             
            #6
              kozel

              • Total Posts: 810
              • Joined: 7/17/2004
              • Location: Fredericksburg, VA
              RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 07/9/05 3:35 PM (permalink)
              Or, asking for the tip in cash instead of adding it to the credit card charge.
               
              #7
                Mark in Ohio

                • Total Posts: 181
                • Joined: 6/2/2004
                • Location: Chillicothe, OH
                RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 07/9/05 3:47 PM (permalink)
                quote:
                Originally posted by dreamzpainter

                while annoying it pales in comparison to tips added into the bill


                Hi, dreamzpainter. In a number of western European countries, it was (and probably still is) customary for restaurants to incorporate a 15% gratuity into the bill. I had heard this was aggravating to many NYC (et al) servers who waited on tables of visiting Europeans who had assumed (either unknowingly or perhaps handily) that a gratuity had already been included in the bill and thus left no tip, stiffing the server.

                I don't get out of the boondocks that often anymore, but is this an increasing practice to add a tip to the bill before presenting it? Do they post a notice at the entryway or have it printed in more than one place on the menu so that patrons are aware of this, or do the servers present the bill without mentioning it in hopes of double dipping from diners who only give their bill a cursory glance?


                In the auctioneering business in the past 20 years, there has been an insidious spread of the buyer's premium, which is a surcharge (usually 10-20%) added to the gavel price to yield a final price. Some people who are unfamiliar with this spreading practice really hit the ceiling when it's time to check out and they find out they're expected to pay "more than they bid"; woe to the auctioneer who fails to prominently post that there will be a buyer's preminum in effect for that sale. Typically there is a sign to this effect at the registration desk, in the catalog if it's a cataloged sale, in all advertisements, and in the verbal announcement of conditions of sale just before the auction starts to avoid any misunderstanding.


                So, after my babbling, my question remains: Is the tip inclusion on the check a growing phenomena here, is it a regional thing, or an upper crust thing like professionals in Georgian England billing their clients in gold guineas instead of pounds sterling to skim an extra shilling (21 shillings in a guinea, only 20 to the pound) off each pound? Is it posted or mentioned beforehand?
                 
                #8
                  dreamzpainter

                  • Total Posts: 1609
                  • Joined: 2/6/2005
                  • Location: jacksonville, FL
                  RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 07/9/05 6:37 PM (permalink)
                  hmmm if I need to quantify every smart alex remark I'll be here forever.. I have only HEARD of the practice but I'm sure it would have to be someplace that not not only requires shoes and socks but a coat and tie as well, in other words a place you will never find me
                   
                  #9
                    Rootsman

                    • Total Posts: 235
                    • Joined: 7/9/2005
                    • Location: Orlando, FL
                    RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 07/9/05 7:52 PM (permalink)
                    What's worse is a NYC Chinese delivery guy acting like he can't make chance for a $20 or giving you as much time as possbile to say keep the change.

                    For catering proposals, I include a line item called discretionary gratuity and include a 5-20% tip depending on the level of service and leave it up to the client to tell me if they want to keep, eliminate, increase or decrease it. Now most clients leave it as is. Before, 50% of clients didn't tip. What are your thoughts on this approach?
                     
                    #10
                      Scallion1

                      • Total Posts: 418
                      • Joined: 7/20/2004
                      • Location: Yonkers, NY
                      RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 07/9/05 8:03 PM (permalink)
                      quote:
                      Originally posted by Rootsman


                      For catering proposals, I include a line item called discretionary gratuity and include a 5-20% tip depending on the level of service and leave it up to the client to tell me if they want to keep, eliminate, increase or decrease it. Now most clients leave it as is. Before, 50% of clients didn't tip. What are your thoughts on this approach?


                      interesting idea. what level of catering do you do?
                       
                      #11
                        bassrocker4u2

                        • Total Posts: 534
                        • Joined: 11/12/2003
                        • Location: new holland, PA
                        RE: Asking For Tips Sun, 07/10/05 11:46 AM (permalink)
                        i feel that if you need a tip on catering, simply raise your base price and be done with it. tiping should not be expected, nor required! nor should it be monetary, all the time. dont forget what 'tip' actually means.
                        as for the first question in this thread: in the past, we(the Misses and I) have fired our share of wait staff for asking that very question. i bet if you were to inform the floor manager of anyone asking "do you need any change?", you would not see that person on your return visit.
                         
                        #12
                          Rootsman

                          • Total Posts: 235
                          • Joined: 7/9/2005
                          • Location: Orlando, FL
                          RE: Asking For Tips Sun, 07/10/05 11:49 AM (permalink)
                          quote:
                          Originally posted by Scallion1
                          interesting idea. what level of catering do you do?


                          Anything from delivery to on-site cooking. Island BBQ
                           
                          #13
                            mayor al

                            • Total Posts: 15062
                            • Joined: 8/20/2002
                            • Location: Louisville area, Southern Indiana
                            • Roadfood Insider
                            RE: Asking For Tips Sun, 07/10/05 12:11 PM (permalink)
                            RE- Auction Buyers Premium--
                            Here in the rural heartland, a few of the dealers have posted notices of Buyers premiums on their auctions...but the crowd at these events has been much smaller than at the usual auction. Buyers bitch about paying Sales Tax (especially since Ebay sales have soared) much less a fee for buying from a dealer. A couple of guys tried to charge a registration fee to obtain a bid number...This died a quick death also.

                            I am a believer in " a Tip is a reward for good service" and don't want to have that legislated into the general fee for whatever I have purchased.
                             
                            #14
                              bassrocker4u2

                              • Total Posts: 534
                              • Joined: 11/12/2003
                              • Location: new holland, PA
                              RE: Asking For Tips Sun, 07/10/05 1:00 PM (permalink)
                              well said.
                               
                              #15
                                Scallion1

                                • Total Posts: 418
                                • Joined: 7/20/2004
                                • Location: Yonkers, NY
                                RE: Asking For Tips Sun, 07/10/05 1:19 PM (permalink)
                                quote:
                                Originally posted by bassrocker4u2

                                i feel that if you need a tip on catering, simply raise your base price and be done with it. tiping should not be expected, nor required! nor should it be monetary, all the time. dont forget what 'tip' actually means.


                                well, i can only tell you that, right or wrong, it's absolutely standard in the catering circles i work in. what's really unexpected is the occasional tip i get when i chef a party. not frequent, but if it arrives it's usually pretty sizeable.
                                 
                                #16
                                  zataar

                                  • Total Posts: 1440
                                  • Joined: 4/5/2004
                                  • Location: kansas city, MO
                                  RE: Asking For Tips Sun, 07/10/05 2:16 PM (permalink)
                                  quote:
                                  Originally posted by Scallion1
                                  well, i can only tell you that, right or wrong, it's absolutely standard in the catering circles i work in. what's really unexpected is the occasional tip i get when i chef a party. not frequent, but if it arrives it's usually pretty sizeable.


                                  That is my experience as well. I recently received a gratuity that was equal to my chef on site fee. It was very appreciated because I worked very hard to please these people and it showed. I'm not comfortable with billing a gratuity as our servers make very decent money by our local industry's standards. If a server knows they are getting a tip they do not work as hard. I've seen it happen over and over.
                                   
                                  #17
                                    Scallion1

                                    • Total Posts: 418
                                    • Joined: 7/20/2004
                                    • Location: Yonkers, NY
                                    RE: Asking For Tips Sun, 07/10/05 7:01 PM (permalink)
                                    quote:
                                    Originally posted by zataar

                                    quote:
                                    Originally posted by Scallion1
                                    well, i can only tell you that, right or wrong, it's absolutely standard in the catering circles i work in. what's really unexpected is the occasional tip i get when i chef a party. not frequent, but if it arrives it's usually pretty sizeable.


                                    That is my experience as well. I recently received a gratuity that was equal to my chef on site fee. It was very appreciated because I worked very hard to please these people and it showed. I'm not comfortable with billing a gratuity as our servers make very decent money by our local industry's standards. If a server knows they are getting a tip they do not work as hard. I've seen it happen over and over.


                                    the standard around here is that waiters work a five-hour minimum, and get paid $25/hr. if a client asks, i tell them that the rule of thumb for a normal party is one hour's pay, which, obviously, is %20. i got in the habit of doing this because on certain holidays they get time and a half, on some double time.
                                    i never expect a tip, no matter how hard i work, since mrs. scallion has told me for years that the owner of the beauty parlor doesn't expect tips. when i owned a restaurant and occasionally tended bar, i'd put everything in the tip cup and then, usually, give it to the kitchen to split up.
                                    tips for owners, in my experience, are motivated by gratitude or shame. the biggest tip we ever got was $1,700 on a party that was billed, food and staff, at $7,500. the hostess had completely screwed us over, cut back on staff because she said her household help would be available. they never materialized, and we wound up killing ourselves, washing dishes, taking out garbage, sweeping the kitchen. her husband asked us how things had gone, knowing that there had been a problem, and slipped me the tip. but we'll never work for them again, and they know it.
                                     
                                    #18
                                      Outlaw

                                      • Total Posts: 3
                                      • Joined: 5/15/2005
                                      • Location: Akron, OH
                                      RE: Asking For Tips Tue, 07/12/05 3:28 PM (permalink)
                                      Hey, waitresses have to make a living too. Keep in mind the people who dont tip them. Tips are a part of their wage, their income. As far as I am concerned there is nothing wrong if they ask if the customer wants change back.
                                       
                                      #19
                                        The Travelin Man

                                        • Total Posts: 3698
                                        • Joined: 3/25/2003
                                        • Location: Central FL
                                        RE: Asking For Tips Wed, 07/13/05 12:35 AM (permalink)
                                        quote:
                                        Originally posted by Outlaw

                                        Hey, waitresses have to make a living too. Keep in mind the people who dont tip them. Tips are a part of their wage, their income. As far as I am concerned there is nothing wrong if they ask if the customer wants change back.


                                        I am just curious, and you surely seem enlightened on the subject, but wouldn't it just be easier to bring the change back without asking every time and be tipped accordingly than risk even one person being upset that you did something out of line? I guess I just don't see the downside to bringing someone their correct change -- unless you are not confident in the service you provided and feel that you need an edge to get an extra piece of a tip???
                                         
                                        #20
                                          mr chips

                                          • Total Posts: 4715
                                          • Joined: 2/19/2003
                                          • Location: portland, OR
                                          RE: Asking For Tips Wed, 07/13/05 12:48 AM (permalink)
                                          I make a point of tipping fairly well/ I do not like the question and would lower my tip (to 15%) if I were asked such a question by a server. I hope the managerwould give the server a warning and not fire the person.
                                           
                                          #21
                                            Scallion1

                                            • Total Posts: 418
                                            • Joined: 7/20/2004
                                            • Location: Yonkers, NY
                                            RE: Asking For Tips Wed, 07/13/05 8:37 AM (permalink)
                                            quote:
                                            Originally posted by Outlaw

                                            Hey, waitresses have to make a living too. Keep in mind the people who dont tip them. Tips are a part of their wage, their income. As far as I am concerned there is nothing wrong if they ask if the customer wants change back.


                                            Yes, they do. But there's another side to that coin; working for tips is like working freelance or working for commission. You trade stability and a guaranteed income for freedom and the chance for a big hit.

                                            Maybe I'm just sour on this subject, but I remember all too well working for $178/wk at my first real restaurant job, when the bartenders and waiters were bringing in $200/NIGHT in CASH.

                                            You make your choices, but you don't get to bitch about it if you can't have it both ways, says I.
                                             
                                            #22
                                              Caramel Copper

                                              • Total Posts: 66
                                              • Joined: 6/21/2005
                                              • Location: Hogansville, GA
                                              RE: Asking For Tips Thu, 07/14/05 9:40 PM (permalink)
                                              The idea of "asking for a tip" has never entered my mind. The customers who overtip far outweigh the cheap ba$tards. Everytime. 10% is substandard. I find it; (10%), insulting.

                                              Copper
                                               
                                              #23
                                                jvsmom

                                                • Total Posts: 462
                                                • Joined: 5/11/2001
                                                • Location: Braintree, MA
                                                RE: Asking For Tips Thu, 07/14/05 10:13 PM (permalink)
                                                I have been asked this question, and to be honest, I never really thought of it as asking for a tip. I guess I just assumed that the waiter or waitress was asking because they didn't know if what I was giving them was the exact amount of the check. (Pf course, this would only work in a place where they bring the check to you in a little leather folder). But now that you point it out, it is pretty tacky. It's almost as if they feel they have to remind you to tip, which is insulting.

                                                I do understand that there are people who stiff wait staff on tips, but why does that now become MY problem to fix? As long as I get decent service, I will tip. If it's good, I'll tip better. If it's extremely good, I'll tip a lot better. But I don't think I should have to tip a lot more because the next person over stiffed them. THat's like asking wait staff at a posh restaurant to be happy with a smaller tip from me because I make less money than the next person.

                                                As for automatic tipping, I HATE IT. I can see why some places think it's necessary, however, I have a family of 6, two adults and four children. I know of two places we have gone for dinner in the past year where we will not go again because a tip has been automatically added to my bill because there are 6 of us, even though 3 of the meals were kids' meals (my teenage son eats like an adult). At one of the places, the waitress was nice enough to point out to us that the tip had already been added; and at the other, it was rubber-stamped on the check in big letters. While I appreciate their letting me know, I just don't like the practice. The irony is, I almost always tip more than 15%, so the restaurant was actually shortchanging the wait staff by adding the 15%, because had they let me be the judge of how much to tip, they would have gotten a lot more.
                                                 
                                                #24
                                                  fastfood

                                                  • Total Posts: 82
                                                  • Joined: 7/12/2005
                                                  • Location: S, MO
                                                  RE: Asking For Tips Thu, 07/14/05 11:34 PM (permalink)
                                                  I agree its rude to ask do you need change. We get tips here at arby's on the occasion and its never more then a buck and the usual is like a quarter.We don't like taking tips but we take them so the customer won't be offended by us not taking it.

                                                  Corporate was thinking of giving us the ability to tip ourselves. For instance if the customer dines in and used a credit or debit card and they leave a huge mess and then proceed to exit the building without cleaning up we would inform them that we will charge their card a maintainence fee of 5 bucks half to arby's the other half to the employee.I wish they would've went through with it because it gets on my last nerves when people bring theirselves and their trashy kids inside and make a huge mess and even leave their trays and wrappers all over the table.
                                                   
                                                  #25
                                                    6star

                                                    • Total Posts: 4388
                                                    • Joined: 1/28/2004
                                                    • Location: West Peoria, IL
                                                    RE: Asking For Tips Fri, 07/15/05 12:10 AM (permalink)
                                                    quote:
                                                    Originally posted by fastfood


                                                    .....it gets on my last nerves when people bring theirselves and their trashy kids inside and make a huge mess and even leave their trays and wrappers all over the table.


                                                    When you work in fast foods, this is what you are more likely to get, since the slobs are generally more comfortable with and can better afford a fast food restaurant than a fancier eating place. A person with a multitude of kids that won't behave knows that they are not likely to be thrown out of a fast food spot, since a vinyl floor is a lot easier to clean than a carpet. And since even the parents who care have few really effective ways to discipline kids these days (and the kids know it) it is just easier to drag them into a fast food place and let the kids behave as they will.
                                                     
                                                    #26
                                                      fastfood

                                                      • Total Posts: 82
                                                      • Joined: 7/12/2005
                                                      • Location: S, MO
                                                      RE: Asking For Tips Fri, 07/15/05 12:20 AM (permalink)
                                                      quote:
                                                      Originally posted by 6star

                                                      quote:
                                                      Originally posted by fastfood


                                                      .....it gets on my last nerves when people bring theirselves and their trashy kids inside and make a huge mess and even leave their trays and wrappers all over the table.


                                                      When you work in fast foods, this is what you are more likely to get, since the slobs are generally more comfortable with and can better afford a fast food restaurant than a fancier eating place. A person with a multitude of kids that won't behave knows that they are not likely to be thrown out of a fast food spot, since a vinyl floor is a lot easier to clean than a carpet. And since even the parents who care have few really effective ways to discipline kids these days (and the kids know it) it is just easier to drag them into a fast food place and let the kids behave as they will.


                                                      Yea your right,but the stains on the carpet have to stay for one month til the carpet man gets here,he comes only once a month. We are one of the few stores to have carpeting.The management here is fed up with this because its costing us tons of money for the extra time it takes the employee to clean up.Plus its an inconveinence for the closer because he/she is late getting out of here.But the stupid policys forbid us from kicking people out and stuff like that.
                                                       
                                                      #27
                                                        bassrocker4u2

                                                        • Total Posts: 534
                                                        • Joined: 11/12/2003
                                                        • Location: new holland, PA
                                                        RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 08/6/05 8:15 AM (permalink)
                                                        on the other side of the coin........one of the catering jobs we just finished was for 50 people.. the man paying for it used a credit card. as he is signing, he asks "do i need to put a tip on here?" i wanted to say "what the heck kind of question is that!?"
                                                        instead.... "@#$%&^*^*&)^&*_(*&)%&%^#$(*&)(*& " was a better response....heeheehee

                                                        another note..... a new restaurant in town called "three j's steakhouse" well, i go in there for lunch figuring to try it out. waitress took my order, brought me a soda, and never returned. i had to get the hostess to go figure my check! but the worst part.....i got sick for three days from that crap!
                                                        now i remember why i only eat my own cooking....
                                                         
                                                        #28
                                                          Poverty Pete

                                                          • Total Posts: 2266
                                                          • Joined: 8/16/2003
                                                          • Location: Nashville, TN
                                                          RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 08/6/05 9:38 AM (permalink)
                                                          quote:
                                                          Originally posted by fastfood

                                                          I agree its rude to ask do you need change. We get tips here at arby's on the occasion and its never more then a buck and the usual is like a quarter.We don't like taking tips but we take them so the customer won't be offended by us not taking it.

                                                          Corporate was thinking of giving us the ability to tip ourselves. For instance if the customer dines in and used a credit or debit card and they leave a huge mess and then proceed to exit the building without cleaning up we would inform them that we will charge their card a maintainence fee of 5 bucks half to arby's the other half to the employee.I wish they would've went through with it because it gets on my last nerves when people bring theirselves and their trashy kids inside and make a huge mess and even leave their trays and wrappers all over the table.


                                                          If you don't want to offend me, don't tip yourself at my expense.
                                                           
                                                          #29
                                                            Grillmeister

                                                            • Total Posts: 204
                                                            • Joined: 7/2/2004
                                                            • Location: Sherman, TX
                                                            RE: Asking For Tips Sat, 08/6/05 10:51 AM (permalink)

                                                            It's interesting to see what issues set off Roadfooders. Tipping seems to be a red state-blue state type of thing here. What we need is some levity! Check out the Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" series radio spots. Hilarious! My view on tipping is summed up with "Mr. Fancy Coffee Shop Coffee Pourer". Enjoy...

                                                            http://budlight.whipnet.com/Bud%20Light%20-%20Real%20Men%20of%20Genius%20-%20Mr.%20Fancy%20Coffee%20Shop%20Coffee%20Pourer.mp3

                                                            Funnier ones available on the main directory as well...
                                                             
                                                            #30
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