THIS JUST IN...
Hello, I'm Dan Lather...
According to a study by a few senior interns at DBI (the Dubious Research Institute), at least half of what viewers see on television is pure bullsh!t...
These facts came to light after it was discovered last week that the viewing public is actually losing faith in what their tv's tell them...
We talked with a typical housewife, Jane Dough of Lordsburg, New Mexico, who said "I find this hard to believe. I depend on my television to give me the info I need on a daily basis. Now you say my TV has been lying to me all this time ? You now say the political polls are rigged, that CSPAN coverage of Congress is actually a sophisticated Animatronics movie set by Disney, the Apollo "moon landings" were filmed in Death Valley by the CIA, and that Dick Clark is merely a hologram at the Smithsonian...I don't know
what I can believe in anymore. And to think I let this tv into my home, and now I feel so violated...I think I want my tv to leave and never come back" ...
Professor I.W. Harper thinks it's a possible "credibility gap", but is still not convinced that most of "Prime Time" programming is just a bunch of crap that adds little to the vital information that's rumored real people allegedly want...
Television programming that actually adds to the quality of life of viewers is still possible in theory according to Harper, but to be sure he proposes a study be conducted of the most underserved tv audience: the Amish...
To explore this issue in depth, tune in tonight to Geraldo as he conducts an in depth interview with Lindsey Lohan, Kim Kardashian, Pee Wee Herman, Dr Phil, and Krusty The Klown...
Is it possible that real life is a parody of what we see on TV...???
Film at 11...
We now return to our normal programming... but we'll be back in half an hour with continuing coverage and analysis...
<message edited by BackRhodes on Wed, 01/18/12 3:19 AM>