Drive-through ATM

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A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. 

After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed. 

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender: 

MALE PROCEDURE 

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up. 
7. Drive off. 

FEMALE PROCEDURE


1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required distance to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Sizz, that's a good one.  I think I have had the pleasure of sitting behind her a few times.

I hate drive-through ATMs, I like to get out and stretch my legs.  My old bank was recently taken over by Chase, and that is all they have.  They also have drive-through windows that are seldom used, but there is frequently a line at the only ATM.  And there is often someone following the female procedure you describe.

This is irony at it's best! I was just behind her a half hour ago, except she dropped her cell out the window next to the ATM, had to back up in order to get out of the car to retrieve it, and then had the nerve to give me 'THE LOOK' when I shook my head. Truth is truly stranger than fiction.

I use the drive-through ATM and make my deposits, etc., at drive-through lanes. Except for a when I need to actually see a banker about something, or get a cashier's check, I've not beein inside a bank in 30 years.

The woman in front of me in the super market checkout line does all of those maneuvers and more every time I get in the express lane with two items.

Cheers, John  

If I used a drive thru ATM, I'd be up on a murder charge in a month.

seafarer john


The woman in front of me in the super market checkout line does all of those maneuvers and more every time I get in the express lane with two items.

Cheers, John  

I once won a speech contest by talking about how much I hate people who write checks in the super market, especially the express lane.

If we need 'quick-cash' we find it easier to take it as an 'add-on' at the market or Wally World using the debit card.(no charges added) 
 
 If you use a bank other than your own there are ATM fees that vary in amount, but seem to be compiling  even with the new rules.
I avoid these as much as possible.

Using my own bank ,the atm is 'free' but it is a pain to get my truck with wide-mirrors on both sides thru a driveway designed for compact cars.
My deposits are about 90% automated so we seldom use the drive-thru for any reason.

I use the ATM inside the grocery store near my house. It happens to be my bank so no fees.

plb

seafarer john


The woman in front of me in the super market checkout line does all of those maneuvers and more every time I get in the express lane with two items.

Cheers, John  

I once won a speech contest by talking about how much I hate people who write checks in the super market, especially the express lane.

What gets me is she will stand there until the clerk rings everything up and only then will she start fumbling around in her purse to find her checkbook and then she needs a pen. As she is writing the check, she remembers something she forgot to get and sends her 12 yr old back into the aisles to find a 39 cent item, THEN she writes the check with no apology to the line behind her and a look on her face like she's the only one in the store.

Foodbme

plb

seafarer john


The woman in front of me in the super market checkout line does all of those maneuvers and more every time I get in the express lane with two items.

Cheers, John  

I once won a speech contest by talking about how much I hate people who write checks in the super market, especially the express lane.

What gets me is she will stand there until the clerk rings everything up and only then will she start fumbling around in her purse to find her checkbook and then she needs a pen. As she is writing the check, she remembers something she forgot to get and sends her 12 yr old back into the aisles to find a 39 cent item, THEN she writes the check with no apology to the line behind her and a look on her face like she's the only one in the store.

 
 
Then she drives 55 in the fast lane of the interstate and won't move over