Fake Food Recipes

I'll have to dabble with that, EliseT.......nuttin' like Bisquick and all those Impossible Pies too...........I even made a chipped dried beef one one time....Turned out pretty well, imho

Here's a Fake-y , excellent for this time of year


Campbells' Gazpacho

2 Cans Campbells Tomato Soup
1/2 cup Vinegar...your choice
2 large tomaters from yer garden, slightly chopped
1 big ol' green pepper, chopped
1 large cuke from yer backyard produce too
4 cloves of garlic....more if you want to drive off strangers
4 TBLSP of that Eyetalian Olive oil.......sorry can't use lard here..makes too many white specks
2 TBLSP Lea and Perrins Worcestershire Sauce
Salt and pepper to taste
ice cubes......loads of em


Dump everything but the ice cubes in a previously only used for Margaritas blender or one of them frenchified Food processors and whirrr and blend until the mix looks rather revolting with some chunks of 'maters still swimming around a bit. Add ice cubes until mixture starts to overflow and look like a rosy Niagra Falls down the side of your container.....If you feel like living on the edge...leave the lid off and whir again.Me personally.....I don't like the look of being shot on my clothes......so I chicken out and put the lid on. Put the gloppy mixture in the fridge and let chill fully for at least an hour. Serve in bowls with dollops of sour cream on top and croutons. Looks like hell but boy is it good.

We have canned Hormel Tamales here in Gainesville, I just can't eat them, my husband on the other hand loves them with chili. I'd be glad to send you a can.......

Impossible cheeseburger pie...how does that happen? Vibration Guy? How does it make its own crust? It IS impossible!

Regarding 'Space Food Sticks' - I remember chocolate and peanut butter flavours. Those along with 'Tang', (which I still take on camping trips), would make any interstellar journey complete!

Here's a dessert that's about as fake as you can get:

CHOCOLATE PAN ECLAIR

1 box Honey Maid graham crackers
2 large boxes french vanilla instant pudding
1 large container Cool Whip
1 can Duncan Hines fudge frosting

Line an 81/2" X 11' pan with graham crackers (whole)
Mix pudding according to directions and fold in the Cool Whip
Spread a layer of the pudding and Cool Whip mix on top of the graham crackers, then put another layer of the crackers on top of the pudding layer, then spread the rest of the pudding mixture on top of those. Put a final layer of graham crackers over this, then spread the fudge frosting over the final graham cracker layer.

I have taken this to church socials and picnics in a pinch, and people couldn't believe that's all there was to it. It actually tastes okay if you let it set up in the fridge overnight before taking it to your function.

My neighbor used to bring me what she called a quiche and my whole family actually liked it. From the side of a bisquick box the recipe for Impossible Chicken Pie.........only we used a box of chopped broccoli, a package of ham (instead of chicken) diced to death in the food processor. Bisquick, milk, and 3 cups of shredded cheddar. Full of calories and fat, I'm sure, but when it is right out of the oven and squirted with fresh lemon.........mmmmmm..comfort food!

I believe this thread deserves reviving for a while and offer a couple of things to start.
 
BACLAVA
 
There is a British chef and food writer, Moira Hogdson, I think is her name, who has written several interesting cook books.  One of her recipes is for an "emergency" dessert.  She says to take granola and pour honey on it and mix it until it sticks together. 
 
Serve it as baclava.
 
ON THE USES OF SPAM
 
I think it is an annual event at the Oklahoma State Fair, a contest for the best original recipe using Spam.  Within the last five years or so, the winner was a tamale recipe - the usual labor intensive procedure - but the main ingredient for the filling was Spam.  I'm not sure I'd call that fake food.  It seemed a pretty good idea to me.
 
I wonder if anyone else saw that recipe in the Daily Oklahoman?
 
 

Monkey Bread.
Its canned biscuits with a gooey sweet nutty buttery baked on it in a springform pan.
All monkey breads should catch on fire and burn in the oven.

meowzart


The "Fake Food" thread on the miscellaneous board got me thinking that I may not be the only one harboring a recipe from a box top or can label. These recipes kind of take the "fake food" and make them into "real food." Herewith, my recipe from the back of Stauffer's spincach souffle:

SPINACH AND SAUSAGE STUFFED MUSHROOMS

1 package (12 oz.) Stouffer's frozen Spinach Souffle, defrosted
2 tbsp. butter
3 tbsp. chopped onion
3/4 cup water
2 1/3 cup herb seasoned stuffing (not crouton style)
1/2 lb. bulk Italian sausage; thoroughly cooked, drained, and crumbled
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese (plus additional for garnish)
2 1/2 - 3 lbs button mushrooms, stems removed

Melt butter in medium saucepan; add onion and cook until translucent. Add water and heat to boiling. Remove from heat. Add stuffing, stir until moistened. Stir in spinach souffle, cooked sausage and parmesan cheese. Stir well.

Arrange mushrooms on a baking sheet. Fill with spinach mixture, mounding slightly. Sprinkle with additional parmesan cheese.

Bake in a preheated 400 degree oven for 10 to 15 minutes or until cheese and mushrooms are lightly browned.

I used to love Stouffer's back in the day (I seem to be the only person to remember a shrimp and scallop dish - maybe a Newburg? - of theirs that was wonderful) and can see why you have this hanging around.  I bet with the addition of a little egg it would make a great savory tart in phyllo cups, too.

fabulousoyster


Monkey Bread.
Its canned biscuits with a gooey sweet nutty buttery baked on it in a springform pan.
All monkey breads should catch on fire and burn in the oven.

 
Or doughnuts made from the cheapest biscuits available - unroll, punch a hole in the middle and stretch it out a little, deep fry and toss in cinnamon sugar.  My kids always thought I was some kind of wizard when I made them.

Wow, the first pages of this thread were back in 2003. Neat to read! This must have been soon after the forum started.
 
You can make all kinds of Oyster dishes using canned boiled Oysters. My fave is Oysters Rockefeller. Canned boiled Oysters, canned spinach, and whatever else sounds good. Just bake it some and it's done. I like Bacon Bits, onion dip, and Parm cheese on this sometimes. Oh, and you can use the canned oyster juice to make a dip w/ sour cream. The Bacon Bits work good in the dip also. I have also added some spinach to the mix. And oh, sometimes Ranch Dip Mix. The options are almost endless.
Joe

 Wow, who dusted off this old thread and how did you find it?
 
  I went to KRAFT Foods and got a recipe for salmon cakes.
 
  1, 14.5 oz can salmon
  1 box Stove top stuffing(chicken or herb)
  1 egg, beaten
  water to moisten
 
 Mix well and form into patties. Fry until golden brown.
 
  The mix actually made really good cakes.
 
  David O.
 

Chef, you can go to the start of any section here and find these old threads. Looks like Fab gets the credit for finding this Gem in 2010.
 
Add some chopped nacho sliced pickled Jalapenos to that Salmon mix and it gets Texanized. I love Salmon Cakes made w/ canned Salmon.
Joe

txtwister

... doughnuts made from the cheapest biscuits available - unroll, punch a hole in the middle and stretch it out a little, deep fry and toss in cinnamon sugar...

That is how the Chinese restaurant my daughter worked at made their Chinese biscuits. Except no cinnamon and no center hole. She eats at Chinese restaurants all the time. She says that's what all their Chinese biscuits are. She makes them at home for friends... They are amazed.
 
"Fake Foods" because some recipes use "shortcuts". While I do think that Cool Whip and Dream Whip are yukky, I don't think that I am that pretentious. 

Being a lover of carbs I find chicken and dumplings made with rolled out and floured cheap roll biscuits quite yummy.

OKC deserves the credit for bringing this thread in 2009. I did not see the Spam Tamale recipe in the Daily Oklahoman. Neat idea though. As is the fake Baclava idea.
 
Fake Chinese, I have a few recipes but on of my faves is Beef and Broccoli using... Steak-Ums, simmered first in some Johnny's French Dip, for tha beef.
Joe

PapaJoe8


OKC deserves the credit for bringing this thread in 2009. I did not see the Spam Tamale recipe in the Daily Oklahoman. Neat idea though. As is the fake Baclava idea.

Fake Chinese, I have a few recipes but on of my faves is Beef and Broccoli using... Steak-Ums, simmered first in some Johnny's French Dip, for tha beef.
Joe

As Randy Moss would say, "Steakums should be banned from Human Consumption" or words to that effect!

Foodb, I knew a poker player named Johnny Moss. He has passed on. Any kin to Randy I wonder? Needless to say Randy never had my Beef and Broccoli. He wasn't far from wrong though. :~)
Joe