New to the forum, but here's a disturbing piece of information I came across. Fruit Pie the Magician is dead (at least here in S.E. New England, which is my stomping grounds). That fun-loving magically inclined anthropamorphic bundle of partial hydrogentated oils and refined sugars has met his maker. He always winked at me from the front of his wax paper wrapper. He was a magician, he was a pastry, he was a friend? No matter what he was, he's dead now.
I first noticed his disappearance before I started my diet. I was in a 7-11 in Swansea, MA early on a Sunday morning. I passed the fruit pies once, without even a look, but I felt them. I felt their long stares, burning a hole into my back. When I could take no more, I turned around. There were only a few of the Fruit Pie the Magician's looking back at me. The other wrappers were emblazened with pictures of fruit. As if there was any actual FRUIT in a FRUITPIE!!! All there is in a Hostess Fruit Pie is the implication of fruit. The actual fruit-like substance is made from chemicals, artifical flavors and pixie dust, thus rendering it highly addictive.
I wondered for a split second, then decided that the answer to this quandry would be helped by the internet. Much like the courageous Frank family, I collected the few remaining Magician labeled wrappers, and headed towards the promised land. The 7-11 clerk probably thought I was the king of the fat asses, buying $9 worth of fruit pies at 7:15 on a Sunday morning, but I didn't let her thoughts bother me.
Over the next 3 days, I did my research, aided by the fruit pies truckload of refined sugars. I learned the history of Hostess and of Fruit Pie the Magician. Buried off in the dark recesses of the internet, I found the truth. The Magician was being slowly taken out of production. He was being replaced with the fruit picture wrappers, much akin to the bastards I saw him hiding amongst that previous Sunday morning. I was furious. I knew I had only a short window to collect up as many old Fruit Pie the Magician wrappers as I could.
Tragedy struck late last night. I had saved those 9 final wrappers, pressed between the pages on an old French to English dictionary I keep on my bookshelf. It is huge and very old and I've never opened it. It worked well for pressing wrappers in. These last remaining relics would be our only link to the past. Four lemon, three cherry, and a couple of apple. They were the last of a great baked goods mascot. Then in the middle of the night, my dog, in what I can only imagine was a fit of jealous rage, smelled out those beloved wrappers. He quietly pulled the dictionary off the bottom shelf and proceeded to destroy all the wrappers, and a considerable part of the "K" section. When I awoke, it looked as it someone had thrown confetti all over my floor. I laughed with rage, cleaned up the mess, and went on with my life, but with the knowledge that I would always be missing a little piece of my heart. While his pies may taste the same, his visage will be sorely missed. Good luck Fruit Pie the Magician, my old friend. May God be with you.
Has anyone else seen less and less of Fruit Pie or is this just a Northeast thing?
