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 Funeral Policy

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Fieldthistle

  • Total Posts: 1948
  • Joined: 7/30/2005
  • Location: Hinton, VA
Funeral Policy Tue, 03/21/06 1:55 PM (permalink)
Hello All,
I know this thread has no legs, but a very close
Uncle of mine died, and my boss said I could not have
off to attend his funeral. My choice, take sick day
(which they say can only be taken if I am really sick;
if I am not sick, I can be disciplined or fired) or take
a vacation day. I don't care. I am attending the funeral
and will take a vacation day. Once, an uncle, aunt, father
mother-in-law were considered family, and we were given a
day for the funeral. This no longer extends to them.
But what are your policies?
I know some can make a death a month for a day off, but
come on, a true death. What are your policies?
Take Care,
Fieldthistle
 
#1
    NebGuy

    • Total Posts: 875
    • Joined: 12/22/2005
    • Location: Colorado Springs
    RE: Funeral Policy Tue, 03/21/06 2:20 PM (permalink)
    Policies of companies I have worked for:

    Spouse, parents, children, grandparents, grandchildren = 3 paid days off
    Aunts, uncles, cousins, inlaws = 1 paid day off

    Most would allow taking additional unpaid leave depending on individual circumstances (travel distance for example)

    Sorry to hear about your uncle.
     
    #2
      BTB

      • Total Posts: 207
      • Joined: 7/25/2004
      • Location: St. Petersburg, FL
      RE: Funeral Policy Tue, 03/21/06 2:44 PM (permalink)
      My deepest sympathies for your loss. I think the smart employer should have a very liberal policy regarding death in the family and time off for relatives to grieve or attend to family matters. At the company that I worked for, they construed "family" under their death in the family policy very, very liberally. At such times, it is incredibly stupid for an employer to pull out strict rules and policies to govern all situations at such a emotional time. Err in favor of the employee if need be. It is not worth the ill will that would be generated by being harsh at such a time. It doesn't have to be with pay, but let the employee pay their respect to their loved ones without any job consequences. Any employer who gives their employees grief at this time doesn't deserve to be in business. Take the vacation day and take some time to look for another employer.
       
      #3
        prisonchef

        • Total Posts: 296
        • Joined: 2/13/2006
        • Location: st augustine, FL
        RE: Funeral Policy Tue, 03/21/06 4:02 PM (permalink)
        field,
        sorry to hear about your loss and i hope you and yours are doing well under the circumstances. i had the same situation as yours 10 years ago. got fired over it but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. i still can't replace my father in law. he hated sprint cars and cold weather and i hated nascar and hot weather. but every year he went with me to barberville and froze and every year i went to daytona with him on july 4th. good dude and i dearly miss him. your employeer blows chunks and i know you will find a better job.
        jack
         
        #4
          pcdiva

          • Total Posts: 591
          • Joined: 4/28/2005
          • Location: Atlanta, GA
          RE: Funeral Policy Tue, 03/21/06 6:03 PM (permalink)
          I am sorry to hear about your loss. I hope your Uncle wasn't suffering. I also hope when you get together with your family and friends you'll remember the great times. Don't even think about your employer until you absolutely have to.

          My current company does the same as NebGuy's. I used my day when my cousin died for her funeral with no problems. And my current boss let me take off early when an Aunt died even though I wasn't going to the funeral. Of course, if I want or need to take longer, then I can use vacation or unpaid leave. If I was going to a local funeral and just needed a couple of hours, I'd just have to make up the time somewhere during the pay period.

          When my Dad was sick and then died, my boss let me use sick leave until it was gone then annual (vacation)until it was gone. I think if I would have needed longer, they would have arranged it for me. Then I was back in school and was on unpaid leave any way. I was a co-op student with the Air Force at the time.
           
          #5
            nvb

            • Total Posts: 468
            • Joined: 12/5/2004
            • Location: dfhbgmhmy, MN
            RE: Funeral Policy Tue, 03/21/06 6:05 PM (permalink)
            Always hate to hear about someone losing someone close. Sorry about yours, Fieldthistle.

            If any of my employees need to go to a funeral they get to go. Period. We've had several already and everyone is very willing to work with each other and come in on a day off if necessary.
             
            #6
              jellybear

              • Total Posts: 1135
              • Joined: 10/15/2003
              • Location: surf city, NC
              RE: Funeral Policy Tue, 03/21/06 6:28 PM (permalink)
              That aint right Field!What kind of Boss do you have?
               
              #7
                Fieldthistle

                • Total Posts: 1948
                • Joined: 7/30/2005
                • Location: Hinton, VA
                RE: Funeral Policy Wed, 03/22/06 4:03 AM (permalink)
                Hello All,
                Thank you all for words of sympathy, sincerely, thank you. My uncle was a fun, loving man.
                He suffered greatly during his last few days, but he is at peace now.
                I feel rather petty now about complaining about funeral policies. It was
                the stress of his death coming out. I'll suck it in and focus
                more on helping my mother and other family members.
                Thank you, again.
                Take Care,
                Fieldthistle
                 
                #8
                  UncleVic

                  • Total Posts: 6025
                  • Joined: 10/14/2003
                  • Location: West Palm Beach, FL
                  • Roadfood Insider
                  RE: Funeral Policy Wed, 03/22/06 7:16 AM (permalink)
                  Hey Fieldthistle, sorry to hear about your loss. Hang in there buddy.. I wouldnt worry about the employer, we can lynch him down the road..
                   
                  #9
                    mayor al

                    • Total Posts: 15064
                    • Joined: 8/20/2002
                    • Location: Louisville area, Southern Indiana
                    • Roadfood Insider
                    RE: Funeral Policy Wed, 03/22/06 8:44 AM (permalink)

                    I join the others in offering my sympathy for your loss.

                    Regarding 'Funeral Leave' for Extended Family-- I worked under the guidelines of a Teacher Contract for many years. It allowed up to five days for Immediate family, and up to three days for Extended Family (which is where an Uncle would be). An additional two days "could" be approved if extensive travel was required for attendance at the funeral, or if I was the executor of the estate and needed the time for doing my assigned tasks. Appropriate documentation was required to support the approval of the leave (after the event). This meant that I had to turn in a copy of the Obituary, the Funeral program, and copies of any travel documents if I was asking for the additional travel days. While it sounds bureaucratic, it really was a fair policy and avoided any special favors for some employees and not to others (or fake funerals). Asking for the documents made it more difficult for someone to exploit the benefit.
                    You're correct in not using sick leave for 'UnSick' purposes. Doing that opens the door for possible problems for the employee if they 'violate' the terms of their agreement with their employer.
                     
                    #10
                      mr chips

                      • Total Posts: 4715
                      • Joined: 2/19/2003
                      • Location: portland, OR
                      RE: Funeral Policy Wed, 03/22/06 9:13 AM (permalink)
                      quote:
                      Originally posted by Fieldthistle

                      Hello All,
                      Thank you all for words of sympathy, sincerely, thank you. My uncle was a fun, loving man.
                      He suffered greatly during his last few days, but he is at peace now.
                      I feel rather petty now about complaining about funeral policies. It was
                      the stress of his death coming out. I'll suck it in and focus
                      more on helping my mother and other family members.
                      Thank you, again.
                      Take Care,
                      Fieldthistle
                      I am sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
                       
                      #11
                        dreamzpainter

                        • Total Posts: 1609
                        • Joined: 2/6/2005
                        • Location: jacksonville, FL
                        RE: Funeral Policy Wed, 03/22/06 9:46 AM (permalink)
                        Condolances to you and yours and a pox on any employer who objects to special time off when a loved one or close friend passes on. I am sure they have thier reasons for denying time off but the resulting ill will and poor production seems ike they are shooting themselves in the foot. My daughter works for a large internationally known engineering firm. When a co-worker recently died suddenly the company provided grief counclers and closed early on thursday so that everyone could attend the funeral friday afternoon in So.Fl. A week later a close friend of her father-in-law passed away after an extended illness, not only did they allow her time off, the company sent flowers. I know how unusual this is and it's the extreme opposite end of the spectrum but it's still nice to know some companies still care more for thier employess than what they can produce.
                         
                        #12
                          V960

                          • Total Posts: 2429
                          • Joined: 6/17/2005
                          • Location: Kannapolis area, NC
                          RE: Funeral Policy Wed, 03/22/06 10:14 AM (permalink)
                          Very sorry for your loss.

                          Our policy is any time off is the same. Vacation, sick or whatever is the same. We grant almost three weeks of time off after two years and allow you to bank two weeks per year. Anything over that you get paid for at the end of the year.

                          Works for us.
                           
                          #13
                            -Tricky-

                            • Total Posts: 305
                            • Joined: 9/4/2004
                            • Location: Pittsburgh, PA
                            RE: Funeral Policy Wed, 03/22/06 10:45 AM (permalink)
                            quote:
                            Originally posted by Fieldthistle

                            But what are your policies?


                            I'm very sorry for your loss.

                            In my current job, officially up to three days bereavement leave for immediate family. Spouse, parent, sibling, child, parent-in-law, sibling-in-law. Any other funeral I am supposed to take a personal or vacation day.

                            My boss is lenient and usually includes extended family and close friends; other bosses stick to the letter of the rule.

                            Unfortunately the policy you posted about is fairly common.
                             
                            #14
                              jmckee

                              • Total Posts: 1172
                              • Joined: 11/26/2001
                              • Location: Batavia, OH
                              RE: Funeral Policy Wed, 03/22/06 11:14 AM (permalink)
                              quote:
                              Originally posted by -Tricky-

                              quote:
                              Originally posted by Fieldthistle

                              But what are your policies?


                              I'm very sorry for your loss.

                              In my current job, officially up to three days bereavement leave for immediate family. Spouse, parent, sibling, child, parent-in-law, sibling-in-law. Any other funeral I am supposed to take a personal or vacation day.

                              My boss is lenient and usually includes extended family and close friends; other bosses stick to the letter of the rule.

                              Unfortunately the policy you posted about is fairly common.


                              I have always thought that for a business to dictate who is important enough to you to allow you funeral leave was the height of arrogance. Most of the people on most companies' "allowed" funeral lists are already gone in my case. The people I care about don't fit that mold.

                              Tricky's boss is human, as is mine; I even got off for the funeral of a friend's mother. (Which was good, because the mother had asked that I do the reading from Paul at her funeral mass. When the guest of honor asks you to read at a funeral, you probably ought to do so.) The other kind of bosses are on some sort of power trip; they get off on telling people they can't go to a funeral or such. They see employees as trying to rob their company by being compassionate enough to go to a funeral

                              When my mom died, the company I worked for didn't have any kind of funeral policy ("newish" companies sometimes don't get around to that), and the Big Boss was looking the other way for the time I missed. But my boss, an anal technocrat we all called "The Pillsbury Doughb--ch", said a decision had to be made and since we didn't have a bereavement policy I would have to take the time as vacation or without pay -- including the day Mom died, when I left work at noon.
                               
                              #15
                                mayor al

                                • Total Posts: 15064
                                • Joined: 8/20/2002
                                • Location: Louisville area, Southern Indiana
                                • Roadfood Insider
                                RE: Funeral Policy Wed, 03/22/06 1:24 PM (permalink)

                                The leave question for situations like this make me glad we had a contract or written policy that makes it clear to the employee and to the employer what is allowed.
                                The examples we have seen here all show the employee in a good light, and I am not in any way meaning to offend any who have had this sort of thing happen, but there is another side to the story.

                                I worked with an individual who would use every possible situation to avoid coming to work. He never had a day's sick leave available. He used ALL personal days as soon as they appeared on the calandar, and he would insist that every relative who passed away (no matter how far removed or 'in-lawed') was his only surviving relative. he did this more than a couple times a year. His peers knew this was not true and many times they complained about it...because he would demand released time in the middle of a workday when no substitute teachers were available, so we would have to cover his classes. It doesn't take long for one bad apple to really mess up the structure of the workplace when they take advantage of the emotions of this sort of situation.

                                I respect the concept of equal treatment of the workers under written guidelines. It makes it easier for both sides to handle problems when a crisis like this one arises.
                                 
                                #16
                                  prisonchef

                                  • Total Posts: 296
                                  • Joined: 2/13/2006
                                  • Location: st augustine, FL
                                  RE: Funeral Policy Wed, 03/22/06 6:01 PM (permalink)
                                  v960,
                                  your policy leads me to believe 2 things.
                                  1- your are a good boss and
                                  2- employee retention sure isn't a problem for you.
                                  thanks for restoring my faith that nice guys do get ahead
                                   
                                  #17
                                    bassrocker4u2

                                    • Total Posts: 534
                                    • Joined: 11/12/2003
                                    • Location: new holland, PA
                                    RE: Funeral Policy Thu, 03/23/06 9:21 AM (permalink)
                                    my deepest sympathies to you and your family. its terrible, to undergo such drama in a time of mourning.
                                    my pop passed a few years back, when i was working for a big corp. i was given all the time i wanted, without pay of course. this will happen to everyone eventually, its best to just let each person take all the time they need.
                                    i was a high up management official and i dealt with this weekly from one employee or another. my rule was to always let the person have time off. even if it was aunt cousin, neighbor, local dealer, didnt matter. what mattered, was that if they were sad, they werent the person i wanted on my staff. so home they went, without pay, and i would call someone else to cover shifts.
                                    the key is to always have someone hungry for hours, and well trained in many positions.

                                    field, the boss that wants you to stay at work, is setting up for a bad lawsuit.
                                    when i was in the navy, my grandpa passed. after failed attempts to come home, red cross got involved(thanks to my brother). they sent word to my boss (i was in scotland), that i was to be given leave, and sure enough! they(red cross) even flew me home.
                                    i wonder if they have anything to do with the civilian sector?

                                     
                                    #18
                                      kland01s

                                      • Total Posts: 2835
                                      • Joined: 3/14/2003
                                      • Location: Fox River Valley, IL
                                      RE: Funeral Policy Thu, 03/23/06 9:47 AM (permalink)
                                      Until recently I worked for our local community college as a "fun retirement" job. After I been there for 4 years, my dad passed away (he was 80). Because I was a part time employee, I was not allowed any time off nor was his death even recognized, full time employees recieved cards and notices were passed around to all departments. On the other end of the spectrum, I worked for 27 years in civil engineering and was always treated with the greatest amount of respect when it came to situations like this. My mom had cancer, was ill for a year and eventually died, the engineering company I worked for let me have all the time I needed and the whole company took time off and came to her funeral. Needless to say, I worked for them gladly for 15 years until I retired.
                                       
                                      #19
                                        Fieldthistle

                                        • Total Posts: 1948
                                        • Joined: 7/30/2005
                                        • Location: Hinton, VA
                                        RE: Funeral Policy Fri, 03/24/06 11:13 AM (permalink)
                                        Hello All,
                                        Once again, thank you for your sympathy. My uncle's, Harold Lee Hummel, funeral was a good closure. Of course,
                                        there will always be the feeling of loss, but there came that moment when I felt I could let go of my grief for
                                        my uncle's death and just remember and cherish his life and love. I know there will still be times of grief, but
                                        it is better to embrace the good which will make remember him in the first place. My memories should be a good
                                        testament of him, rather than something that saddens me. He wouldn't like anyone being sad.
                                        Nevertheless, that is my trip.
                                        Again, thank you all. Bassrocker, my boss doesn't give a @@44$%&*, but I would never think of a lawsuit. It would
                                        disrespect my uncle. I do admire all employers who have an understanding policy regarding times of bereavement.
                                        I doubt I will write on this topic again, unless something draws me to it. Others, please express your feelings and policies,
                                        whether or the giving or receiving end.
                                        Again, thank you all. You have helped me.
                                        Take Care,
                                        Fieldthistle
                                         
                                        #20
                                          jellybear

                                          • Total Posts: 1135
                                          • Joined: 10/15/2003
                                          • Location: surf city, NC
                                          RE: Funeral Policy Fri, 03/24/06 1:46 PM (permalink)
                                          Field,Of all the People on this board you have always been the most reasonable and Honest of them all and I hope everything works out well for you.You will fare well my Friend, so take care.
                                           
                                          #21
                                            Jennifer_4

                                            • Total Posts: 1508
                                            • Joined: 9/19/2000
                                            • Location: Fresno, CA
                                            RE: Funeral Policy Sat, 03/25/06 5:45 AM (permalink)
                                            Dear Field, allow me to add my condolences and prayers on your loss. I'm not even sure that your boss can legally fire you for attending a funeral... personally I'd look for another boss... in my job (evil government agency), we pretty much get time off for just about anything... they are pretty lenient about that anyways.. on other matters we are treated like dookie.... but the pay is good.
                                             
                                            #22
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