Getting older really sucks

I am 69 (almost) and I guess I should expect some of my friends to pass but this is way too much.  Three of my very close friends have passed away in the last three days.  It has really put a damper on my attitude.  Two of them I have known for 40 years and to beat it all another one of my very close friends has bone cancer.  I had another very close friend that committed suicide about four weeks ago.  He had lost a very big account that supported his life style.  He was unemployed and just lost his very expensive home.  I guess his mind could not tolerate the huge loss.
 
I guess life will go on.  I have been busy going from service to service.
 
I am sorry to start a thread like this as I am sure it will not improve your day but I had to get it off my chest.
 
Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN

I understand Paul, and having gone through similar situations know that it's going to hurt for a long time-----but you are still a young guy, you have a lot of living to do.  
 
 

Hang in their Paul. Now and then we get reminders that the time clock is ticking with or without our control!
FIFTY years ago this week I shipped out of Ft Devens, Mass, bound for sunny Saigon, RVN.  Funny, I am still around but Ft Devens (the army post) has closed and Saigon is no-more either.  I can't get myself to call the place "HO CHI MINH CITY" !
 I am appalled by the number of friends from High School and my veterans groups who didn't make it this far along the trail. I look around and wonder where they all went???
   I do remember my Mother talking with me on her 90th birthday...not fatalistically, but just commenting on the loneliness one feels when friends and family members pass away, leaving us as the survivors.  I understand your feelings my friend.

I found it really strange several years ago when I saw Mamaw Smith reading the obituaries every morning.  I thought, why do you do that?  Hell, now I know as I scan them each and every morning looking for familiar names.  Unfortunately, now I find them way too often.
 
As Al indicated the clock is ticking and at my age, who knows when the bell will ring???
 
I know that this thread is disturbing to some of you and I am again sorry but right now, it is personal and unfortunately is related to many of us.  I have got my books straight, will straight, finances OK, daughter inherits everything and her name is on every thing that is my name.  I feel I am OK with my very first class friends and I do not have a lot of baggage, well maybe a little bit.  I feel fortunate over the last several years, I have added many new friends to my list from this forum.  Why am I getting a little misty eyed?  I guess due to current circumstances???
 
Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN

Sundancer7


I do not have a lot of baggage

 
Ah, that's the worst part.  I know you meant the other kind of baggage, but I enjoy travel (by train, of course) and I can't lug the baggage like I used to (especially since AMTRAK always parks the sleeping cars farthest from the platform).  So far I can't bring myself to ride in those redcap carts like the really old f*rts but I can tell I am getting there.
 
My Mom passed this year at 91, 5 years after my Dad at 89.  I was seriously thinking about the possibility she could outlive me.  I don't think I'll make it to the high 80s or 90s, even though I may have the right genes.  That's why I decided to grab my Social Security at 62 rather than wait for the higher benefit at 66.
 
What tends to really disturb me is the almost daily drum beat of famous people who aren't that much older than me passing away--and too often from diseases I really worry about.

Paul,
I think most feel that this thread is not disturbing and there's no need to be sorry.
It's good you have a place to go to express your feelings and get some support. I trust that your daughter is there for you also.
And so is God. Ask him for peace in your heart. He'll deliver.
I'm not overly religious and don't want to alienate anyone but if you have Jesus in your heart, you will find peace. Know that your family and friends are up there waiting and you will be together again someday. In the meantime make the most of every day. Smell the roses.
You'll be in my prayers tonight.

I get it. I'm on the same road. (actually we ALL are, maybe in different places on this road).
 
But there are also some +'s. I feel "deeper" now, and able to be more selective in who I am friends with. I also enjoy myself and my own company a lot more than when I was young and so gosh dern anxious......Paul, even with these terrible losses, I hope you also have some peace within.

Do not go gentle into that good night, 
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas 
 
Cheers, John 

 
I guess I'm just a kid ... but the ranks are thinning, that's for sure.  The family holiday gatherings that once had 25 or 30 people are down to barely a few. 
 
My friend Pam, a vibrant 47 year old was snatched away by breast cancer early this year ...I had four others go in quick succession about a year agp.
 
I don't know ... The holidays seem to be the time to remember the people who were in our lives ... and yes, they were actual human being -- who are gone forever.  We have to find our inner-Buddhist and be thankful, not mournful, for them.
 
I read someplace, that we all die three times (First) when we die (Second) when our body returns to ashes and dust and (Third) when the last person who remembers us passes on.
 
 

It is a year since I lost two of my best friends.
Richard was only 55 when he died last year in December. In January I lost Sten.
 
Both lost courageous battles with cancer.
 
Thursday I'm going to Disneyland with my best friend since I'm fifteen.   She's a year younger than I.  I'm not crazy about Disneyland but she is.  In the last 12 years she has had two episodes of breast cancer, 2 episodes of colon cancer, a cancerous tumor removed from her lung and now she has inoperable cancer in the diaphram between her heart and lungs.
 
She wanted us to buy a year pass to Disneyland when we went for her birthday in October.  I'll buy another year pass next October when we celebrate her next birthday.  I love her optimism and will do almost anything to further it.
 
Cancer sucks.   Let us all keep healthy and live long lives.
 
 

I'm glad I'm the age I am now (62) for two reasons. One, it means I was the perfect age (15) when the Beatles first hit, and I loved every minute of it.
 
And two, I was old enough to take early retirement last year, and instead of getting up and out in cold rainy weather at 6AM this morning for a 1 1/2 hour commute by train and getting a headache at yet another pointless 2 hour meeting at this very minute, I am instead wearing a flannel shirt and jeans and posting to the Roadfood board.
 
Yes I worry about what the next 10+ years will bring, health wise (fortunately, financially I am OK) as well as what will happen with my friends, but so far so good. Going out for my daily 2 mile walk right now, it probably helps...

Paul,
I'm sorry for your losses. I'm just 51 but I lost my two oldest, best friends this past year. It really drove home for me how short life is, and how much we should strive  in this life to please others and ourselves. Now, I hold family and friends much closer, I treasure each moment I have with them. I retired last year, so I've been reading a lot about my religion and western philosophy trying to make sense of this life. I have yet to find the answer other than a deepening of my faith in God.

Pogo


Paul,
I'm sorry for your losses. I'm just 51 but I lost my two oldest, best friends this past year. It really drove home for me how short life is, and how much we should strive  in this life to please others and ourselves. Now, I hold family and friends much closer, I treasure each moment I have with them. I retired last year, so I've been reading a lot about my religion and western philosophy trying to make sense of this life. I have yet to find the answer other than a deepening of my faith in God.

 
Is there an answer?  I wish I knew??
 
Thanks
 
Paul

Paul,
   Pogo gave the answer in his last sentence. The answer isn't a destination, it's a journey.

Paul, I'm sorry to hear of your losses.

Paul, so sorry to read about all of your friend's passing and everything you are going through.  I realize it isn't the same, but I am one of many people here on this site who are proud to call you my friend.

buffetbuster


Paul, so sorry to read about all of your friend's passing and everything you are going through.  I realize it isn't the same, but I am one of many people here on this site who are proud to call you my friend.

 
Thanks BB:  It is strange that all this crap happens around a holiday.  The last few years have been tough.  Wife died, mother in law died, many friends died and the hoidays are really empty for me. 
 
Thank GOD Mamaw Smith lives next door and daughter lives across the street with my two grandkids.  I will have Christmas breakfast with them and open gifts and Iwanago and I will have a late dinner at one of our select restaurants that are open.  More and more are open on Christmas day.
 
Thanks to all of you for your encouragement and support.
 
Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN

Paul, it never escapes me that life is kind of a crapshoot, you know?  In that you really aren't as in control as it seems you might be, and that can be really scary.  My boss is fond of saying that statistically, if a man hits 65, he's golden.  But he's not really far off 65 and I'm sure he's comforting himself.  :)  I'm terribly sorry about all the loss you've had in such a short period of time.  That's just . . gross.  There's no other word for it.
 
Al, count me as another Ft. Devens alumna.  Of course I was 2 at the time.

Paul,
  For some reason, it seems that we become 'more aware' of the personal feelings around the holiday time. Whether it be memories of good (or not good) experiences , or of people who meant something special to us over the years, those memories do seem to be present more now than in August!  Cherish the time you have with your Mother, It will be the basis of good memories for the future for you.
AL

Nancypalooza
My boss is fond of saying that statistically, if a man hits 65, he's golden.

Yeah, last year the genealogist in me knew the average age of my last 12 paternal namesake ancestors was 65. That's not all that bad but in August of 2009 I passed the age of my father at age 65 and I was in terrible shape. It put me in a funk thinking about it. It was a scary time culminating in a quad bypass one year ago when I suspect now in hindsight my ticket was up shoveling a heavy wet Christmas morning snow had I not had that bypass just 9 days earlier. Now, continuing to knock on wood, I feel better now than I had in years. I was out shoveling snow this week. Life is good, embrace and enjoy it while you can.

Getting old sucks, but not getting old is wursser !!!!
All y'all out there don't stand still-- old age could be gainin' on ya !!!  Keep active---don't worry about anything at all, just enjoy the day and thank God for it.
 
Forward all e-mails to Joe Rogo.

the ancient mariner


Getting old sucks, but not getting old is wursser !!!!
All y'all out there don't stand still-- old age could be gainin' on ya !!!  Keep active---don't worry about anything at all, just enjoy the day and thank God for it.

Forward all e-mails to Joe Rogo.

 
Hey, I'm catching up to you quick

Sorry Joe, but I have too big a head start, and since I am over the hill I am gaining moe-men-thum every day.  Wheeeeeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. 

perfect SIZZ, absolutely  perfect
 
We all have things to do if we look around---there are always reasons to keep going, people who need us right to the end.
 
We all have promises to keep---no sense looking back and feeling sorry-----onward and upward (to quote another great poet).

Paul, sorry to hear about your losses, it is a bitch, that said, how about you making a list of 50-100? things you want to do before you say goodbye. Exciting things to look forward to. My impression is you have the financial means to do as much as you please, so make a list, check it twice, then start working on your future attainable life goals, a great deal more can await you if you want to look forward, and I'm sure you do, good luck, Godspeed!
Tom

Watch out Chewy---Paul may want to buy you out and retire you to stud.
 

the ancient mariner


Watch out Chewy---Paul may want to buy you out and retire you to stud.

Ancient One, that should be #1 on his list!

chewingthefat


Paul, sorry to hear about your losses, it is a bitch, that said, how about you making a list of 50-100? things you want to do before you say goodbye. Exciting things to look forward to. My impression is you have the financial means to do as much as you please, so make a list, check it twice, then start working on your future attainable life goals, a great deal more can await you if you want to look forward, and I'm sure you do, good luck, Godspeed!
Tom

 
Thanks for the very good advice.  You are correct as it is always fun to have something to look forward to.
 
Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN

Paul, so sorry for your losses!
 
I agree w/ others that I am glad you started this thread!
 
I have a saying;
Getting old may be a bitxh but it's be better than the alternative... maybe???
Joe