I am a BAD American

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Copperhedzkettle
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2006/06/23 14:33:08 (permalink)

I am a BAD American


I received this email the other day.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v193/copperslay3/FwIAmaBadAmerican1.jpg

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN

By: George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.


I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.



I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. Both should abide by the laws of this country.


I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.


I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.


I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good..... And I'm proud that "God" is written on my money. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

And what is going on with gas prices... Again? Is it the political factor? Or the greed factor? You can't eat greed!!

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.


We need our country back!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v193/copperslay3/flag.gif

We NEED GOD BACK IN OUR COUNTRY!

I would rather live my life as if there is a
God, and die to find out there isn't, Than
Live my life as if there isn't, and die to
Find out there is.








#1

55 Replies Related Threads

    jerseygirl127
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/23 15:01:23 (permalink)
    Thanks for that.. Enjoyed reading that and have to say I agree with a LOT of things he said...
    :)
    Have a good weekend...
    ~~jerseygirl127~~
    #2
    Bob in Cary
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/23 15:09:42 (permalink)
    I have no proof, but I don't think George really wrote it.
    #3
    enginecapt
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/23 15:20:43 (permalink)
    Isn't there a no religious propaganda rule at this site? If there isn't, there should be.
    #4
    MilwFoodlovers
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/23 15:25:15 (permalink)
    Jeez Loueez, That's not from George; it wasn't from George when I got it a few years ago and its still not from George and it won't be George's the next time I read it. Here's an addy for you: http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/carlin.asp
    The Bad American


    Claim: Comedian George Carlin authored a piece about his being a 'Bad American.'

    Status: False.

    Examples: [Collected on the Internet, 2001]
    Origins: Just about any unsourced list of witty observations about our politics and social mores gets credited to humorist George Carlin these days, even when it doesn't really sound like anything he would write. Carlin may sometimes use the format of stringing together a few dozen pithy comments about a wide variety of topical subjects, but the tone of his humor is nothing like this reactionary piece. If any doubt remained, Carlin himself swept it away by announcing on his web site that he is not the author of the
    article.

    If not Carlin, then who did write it? This piece has also been credited to a number of decidedly conservative, outspoken media figures, such as rock star Ted Nugent, talk radio host Rush Limbaugh, and other comedians, such as Denis Leary, but the even if the article might seem to echo the political opinions of these men, it doesn't quite match any of them, nor does the language used sound quite right for any of these figures. (Leary, like Carlin, has been credited with creating some other Internet favorites, such as a vituperative discourse on e-mail chain letters and the "Are You Man Enough?" essay.)

    The essay quoted at the head of this page appeared in the FreeRepublic.com on-line forum back in September 2000 under the title "I Am a Bad Republican" (picking up title changes and additions since then as it was forwarded around the Internet), and the person who posted it there has taken credit for it in a another message in that same forum, stating that he wrote it in response to list sent to him by a Democrat friend about how to be a "good Republican."

    Last updated: 2 October 2005
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    There are two other "George" pieces posted here, neither of which I'll repeat on this site but they aren't all that vulgar if you choose to read them.
    Slightly more vulgar is George's own take on this and other similar garbage pieces found on George's own site. http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/home.html
    #5
    Scorereader
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/23 15:33:31 (permalink)
    a good sign that it's false is the end when it says: forward this the everyone...

    #6
    The Travelin Man
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/23 15:53:02 (permalink)
    On the other hand, this really is George Carlin -- and I know because I heard it myself on the XM Comedy Channel (Ch 150)...

    Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?

    You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened:

    About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.

    Well let me ask you this- when they were making this @#$! up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bull!@#$ list. It's a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that's a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy.

    Let's start with the first three:

    * I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME
    * THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN
    * THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH

    Right off the bat the first three are pure bullspit. Sabbath day? Lord's name? strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we're down to 7. Next:

    * HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

    Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don't, period. You're down to six.

    Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we're going to jump around the list a little bit.

    * THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
    * THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS

    Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior- dishonesty. So you don't really need two you combine them and call the commandment "thou shalt not be dishonest". And suddenly you're down to 5.

    And as long as we're combining I have two others that belong together:

    * THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY
    * THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE

    Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is marital infidelity. The difference is- coveting takes place in the mind. But I don't think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else's wife because what is a guy gonna think about when he's waxing his carrot? But, marital infidelity is a good idea so we're gonna keep this one and call it "thou shalt not be unfaithful". And suddenly we're down to four.

    But when you think about it, honesty and infidelity are really part of the same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole thing "thou shalt always be honest and faithful" and we're down to 3.

    * THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR"S GOODS

    This one is just plain frickkin' stupid. Coveting your neighbor's goods is what keeps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays "o come all ye faithful", and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs, so leave it alone. You throw out coveting and you're down to 2 now- the big honesty and fidelity commandment and the one we haven't talked about yet:

    * THOU SHALT NOT KILL

    Murder. But when you think about it, religion has never really had a big problem with murder. More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, Cashmire, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not kill. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable. It depends on who's doin the killin' and who's gettin' killed. So, with all of this in mind, I give you my revised list of the two commandments:

    * Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.

    &

    * Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you.

    Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his frickin' pocket. I wouldn't mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment:

    Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    I cleaned it up as best I could for sensitive ears, but anyone who believes that the same person who said the above also said
    quote:
    We NEED GOD BACK IN OUR COUNTRY!

    I would rather live my life as if there is a
    God, and die to find out there isn't, Than
    Live my life as if there isn't, and die to
    Find out there is.


    I also particularly like the phrase "waxing the carrot."
    #7
    WVHillbilly
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/23 16:23:55 (permalink)
    Sorry Copper, but that is inexcusable.
    You really ought to look into things like that before you post them. Do you fall for everything the right wing propaganda machine throws your way?
    Think.
    #8
    MilwFoodlovers
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/23 17:18:45 (permalink)
    Stevekoe and Parses6 You two started my weekend off with some belly laughs. I'm really crying, not just saying so! Hoo-ha A fudge packing carrot waxer!! OMG, know that's funny! Thanks you two!
    I think I'll just shorten that and start calling people "You fpcw and you will be one of the few that know what I'm saying.
    Dear Senator Rick,
    I just wanted to let you know that I think you are a fpcw.
    Your biggest fan,
    MFL
    #9
    Tedbear
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/23 21:22:05 (permalink)

    Copper--I can't believe that you fell for that one. Anyone who is a George Carlin fan would know by the third or fourth sentence that those sentiments are not in line with the types of things that he usually says.

    While I'm actually surprised that snopes.com had coverage on this hoax, I am really glad that snopes exists to poke holes in this type of falsehood.

    The moral of the story for everyone is...don't automatically accept the veracity of things that are sent to you via e-mail.
    #10
    EdSails
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/24 00:24:52 (permalink)
    quote:
    Originally posted by Tedbear



    Copper--I can't believe that you fell for that one. Anyone who is a George Carlin fan would know by the third or fourth sentence that those sentiments are not in line with the types of things that he usually says.

    While I'm actually surprised that snopes.com had coverage on this hoax, I am really glad that snopes exists to poke holes in this type of falsehood.

    The moral of the story for everyone is...don't automatically accept the veracity of things that are sent to you via e-mail.


    You mean they're not giving me $6 million for helping a Nigerian widow?

    #11
    roossy90
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/24 00:59:01 (permalink)
    SNOPES.com is a wealth of information, and I suggest everyone check it before they send out BS to everyone.
    My friends get mad because I send them back the link saying this is a hoax, why dont you do some research before you ALSO clog up the information superhighway?
    I have seen that Geo Carlin thing years ago, and he even has a disclaimer on his own website..
    Ho hum.......... snooozing. here..
    Show me something that is the truth.
    #12
    roossy90
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/24 01:00:01 (permalink)
    quote:
    Originally posted by Parses6

    Urban Myth/Internet hoax
    Claim: Comedian George Carlin authored a piece about his being a 'Bad American.'

    Status: False.

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/carlin.asp



    But was ketchup involved...?
    #13
    sizz
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/24 01:33:13 (permalink)
    quote:
    EdSails Posted - 06/24/2006 : 00:24:52
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    quote:
    Originally posted by Tedbear



    Copper--I can't believe that you fell for that one. Anyone who is a George Carlin fan would know by the third or fourth sentence that those sentiments are not in line with the types of things that he usually says.

    While I'm actually surprised that snopes.com had coverage on this hoax, I am really glad that snopes exists to poke holes in this type of falsehood.

    The moral of the story for everyone is...don't automatically accept the veracity of things that are sent to you via e-mail.



    You mean they're not giving me $6 million for helping a Nigerian widow?


    no ED you wont be getting the $6 million your a bit to late cuz. .....I'm getting it, along with a $500,000 bonus for being so understanding. I just sent them my bank account number and was promised the $6.5 million will be deposited in my account sometime tomorrow morning........ wow am I ever lucky cuz I only had $300,000 bucks in my account to last me the rest of my life. now I'll have the $3K plus the $6.5 mil ............... and a chance to help a Nigerian widow.
    #14
    Vince Macek
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/24 08:38:53 (permalink)
    quote:
    Originally posted by fpczyz

    EdSails Posted - 06/24/2006 : 00:24:52
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ...

    no ED you wont be getting the $6 million your a bit to late cuz. .....I'm getting it, along with a $500,000 bonus for being so understanding. I just sent them my bank account number and was promised the $6.5 million will be deposited in my account sometime tomorrow morning........ wow am I ever lucky cuz I only had $300,000 bucks in my account to last me the rest of my life. now I'll have the $3K plus the $6.5 mil ............... and a chance to help a Nigerian widow.


    Well, I've been replying to all these pop-up ads, and my house is filled with plasma tvs. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get off to yet another free Hawaiian vacation.
    #15
    felix4067
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/24 10:02:17 (permalink)
    quote:
    Originally posted by Vince Macek
    Well, I've been replying to all these pop-up ads, and my house is filled with plasma tvs. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get off to yet another free Hawaiian vacation.

    I'll see you there! Are you also staying at the King Kamehameha Club? I understand Rick, T.C., and Magnum will be our hosts.
    #16
    MandalayVA
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/24 11:41:21 (permalink)
    Don't forget about all the hot women who want your big (censored) tonight! Or will they be in Hawaii too?

    #17
    unalaskawoman
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/25 03:05:50 (permalink)
    Quote by Enginecapt: Isn't there a no religious propaganda rule at this site? If there isn't, there should be.

    Enginecapt, I second that, wholeheartedly.

    #18
    seafarer john
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/25 12:36:21 (permalink)
    Please do not try to confuse the true- believer,right wing nut cases with the facts.
    Who needs facts when you absolutely know that all you believe is absolute truth as written in the Bible or at least heard in the Rush Room .

    Cheers, John
    #19
    seafarer john
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/25 12:40:55 (permalink)
    Please do not try to confuse the true- believer,right wing nut cases with the facts.
    Who needs facts when to absolutely know that all you believe is absolute truth as written in the Bible or at least heard in the Rush Room .

    Cheers, John
    #20
    Big Ugly Mich
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/26 09:57:19 (permalink)
    Bit of feedback on the Snopes site: specifically, John Glenn's rebuke of Howard Metzenbaum: My comments italicized for your convenience:

    THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE:

    WHAT SENATOR JOHN GLENN SAID, Scroll down.

    Things that make you think a little........

    There were 39 combat related killings in Iraq during January....

    In the fair city of Detroit there were 35 murders in the month of January.

    That's just one American city, about as deadly as the entire war torn country of Iraq.

    When some claim President Bush shouldn't have started this war, state the following...

    FDR...led us into World War II. Germany never attacked us: Japan did. From 1941-1945, 450,000 lives were lost, an average of 112,500 per year.

    Germany declared war on the US, and there was a U-boat found in the Pacific Ocean near Brooklyn, NY. I wonder what was it doing there? You can see it at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago!

    Truman...finished that war and started one in Korea, North Korea never attacked us. From 1950-1953, 55,000 lives were lost, an average of 18,334 per year.

    John F. Kennedy...started the Vietnam conflict in 1962. Vietnam never attacked us. Johnson...turned Vietnam into a quagmire. From 1965-1975, 58,000 lives were lost, an average of 5,800 per year.

    The Vietnam War was started in 1957 because the President of South Vietnam was afraid he'd lose the upcoming election. The same Republican who gave Japan favored nation status started that awful quagmire. Ironically, his running mate ended it

    Clinton...went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent, Bosnia never attacked us. He was offered Osama bin Laden's head on a platter three times by Sudan and did nothing. Osama has attacked us on multiple occasions.

    In the years since terrorists attacked us President Bush has ....liberated two countries; crushed the Taliban; crippled al-Qaida; put nuclear inspectors in Libya, Iran, and North Korea without firing a shot; and captured a terrorist who slaughtered 300,000 of his own people.

    The Democrats are complaining about how long the war is taking, but...It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno to take the Branch Davidian compound- That was a 51-day operation.

    We've been looking for evidence of chemical weapons in Iraq for less time than it took Hillary Clinton to find the Rose Law Firm billing records.

    It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard than it took Ted Kennedy to call the police after his Oldsmobile sank at Chapaquiddick.

    It took less time to take Iraq than it took to count the votes in Florida!!!!

    Our Commander-In-Chief is doing a GREAT JOB! The Military morale is high!

    The biased media hopes we are too ignorant to realize the facts.

    Not the New York Library. That's my source and I'm stickin to it!]
    #21
    The Travelin Man
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/26 10:46:49 (permalink)
    I am not sure what Big Ugly Mich's point was with that piece, but this might make things a little clearer....

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/glenn.asp

    The quote that he gave, purportedly by John Glenn was never attributed to John Glenn (or anyone else, for that matter).
    quote:
    Update: In 2005, someone prefaced the John Glenn/Howard Metzenbaum article with the following item about Iraq. This addendum has nothing to do with John Glenn — it's an anonymous piece that has been floating around the Internet since 2004, but because it has been tacked onto an article about Glenn, readers have been misled into thinking that it is a transcription of something he said:
    THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE:

    WHAT SENATOR JOHN GLENN SAID, Scroll down.

    Things that make you think a little........

    There were 39 combat related killings in Iraq during January....


    From wikipedia....

    quote:
    November 1, 1955 - Eisenhower deploys Military Assistance Advisory Group to train the South Vietnam Army. This marks the official beginning of American involvement in the war as recognized by the Vietnam Veterans Memorial.


    And, lastly...

    quote:
    Originally posted by Big Ugly Mich

    Germany declared war on the US, and there was a U-boat found in the Pacific Ocean near Brooklyn, NY. I wonder what was it doing there? You can see it at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago!


    I cannot find a reference to the U-Boat you claim was found off of Brooklyn, but assuming that it was, then it was the ATLANTIC ocean, not the Pacific.

    The U-Boat that is at the MSI Chicago was captured off the coast of Africa: http://www.msichicago.org/exhibit/U505/index.html

    But, I am still not sure how this relates to what was being discussed.
    #22
    seafarer john
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/26 11:16:52 (permalink)
    Score one for Parsec6 for originality!

    Cheers, John
    #23
    Tedbear
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/26 11:47:32 (permalink)
    I am also trying to find the relevance of Mich's post about Senators John Glenn and Howard Metzenbaum. If Glenn was trying to refute something that Metzenbaum said about our current incursion into Iraq, the first thing that comes to mind is that we invaded Iraq in 2002 (or was it '03?), yet Mr. Metzenbaum left the Senate in 1995, and Mr. Glenn left that body in 1999.

    Perhaps the reference was to some comments regarding our first incursion into that country, under the first President Bush. However, the implication is that this reference relates to the more recent military exercise.

    Perhaps Mich can explain his intentions, regarding that post, and whether it is supposed to relate to our current Iraq campaign or the earlier one. And if it is the earlier one, then his point is...?
    #24
    Scorereader
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/26 12:18:39 (permalink)
    or maybe, we should cut out the political talk, since it is usually the politcial threads that spawn the most vicious posts.

    I, for one, would love to see a ban on politics on the boards. It's pretty ridiculous. I'd rather have a war about the best hot dog, than one about politics with you all. On this site, I would rather be berated for "knowing" that Hofmann coneys are better than Sweigles, Nathan's and Hebrew National put together, than being berated for my "knowledge" of politics.

    If we really need to be "political" on this site, lets "elect" the best hot dog. We can have primaries and everything. Whittling the candidates down to the a select few. Kind of like a reality show.

    This would be a better use of my "entertainment" time when I'm using the site, rather than reading the same political circle discussions that I deal with everyday inside the beltline.

    Not that I don't think what you have to say about politics isn't important, but honestly, I could care less. I came here to talk about food. Let's argue about that instead. I much preferred getting upset reading about Chinese on the East Coast vs. West Coast, than this political bickering.

    #25
    The Travelin Man
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/26 12:39:57 (permalink)
    I really haven't seen too much political bickering in this thread. I just find it irresponsible for people to post something that is blatantly not true - and you could apply that to George Carlin, WMD, or brisket.

    I am most curious why posters would allow their refuted posts to remain long after it was proven (with fact) that their post was errroneous. This happened last week, too, and when I challenged that poster, the next thing I knew the whole thread was just deleted (as opposed to the post that contained the nonsense/mistruths). There was some other decent information in there, but, you are right - some folks just cannot stand to not attack another and make things very personal, so the whole thread got dumped.

    I just think that we should all try to be a little more responsible in what we post as truth.
    #26
    Scorereader
    Sirloin
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/26 13:01:54 (permalink)
    It's not a question of whether we "can" get good information about political topics, is whether we "should" be visiting these boards to do it.

    The opening post, whether true or false, was a political dialogue with the mission to ignite political feelings. The fact that the quotes are not from George Carlin, only adds more fuel to the flame.

    I agree, that truthful reporting would help to ease feelings of outrage, but, the fact that George Carlin didn't say those things is irrelevant. SOMEBODY said those things, and SOMEBODY believes those things, and some of those things can be viewed as insensitive to someone else. A salt rub into sore topics that will only cause dissonance in a site meant to discuss the harmony of food.

    #27
    The Travelin Man
    Filet Mignon
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/26 13:49:37 (permalink)
    Did you just use the word "dissonance?" Here?

    You know...we're just not that far apart to continue any kind of discourse. I don't disagree with what you are saying, but I just don't feel that strongly about it.
    #28
    Scorereader
    Sirloin
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/26 14:54:02 (permalink)
    quote:
    Originally posted by stevekoe

    Did you just use the word "dissonance?" Here?



    I did. A little language play with the word harmony. I know, I'm a music geek. I can't help that.
    #29
    Copperhedzkettle
    Cheeseburger
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    RE: I am a BAD American 2006/06/27 14:54:43 (permalink)


    All I did was post an email I received. I doubted it was George Carlin because every other word was not an obscenity.

    I am Wiccan, but I'll take your $$$ that is inscribed "In God we Trust " anytime. So no religious propaganda here.

    I asked that the thread last week (iffen yer talkin to me) be deleted out of respect for the family. But now you have called me out on it. They were disemboweled, I still say I would rather be shot in the head.

    Copper

    PS BTW, killer post parses6.....

    "Please do not try to confuse the true believer America-hating socialist left-wing nut cases with the facts.
    Who needs facts to absolutely know that all you believe is the absolute truth of Atheism or at least heard from the smartest woman in the world Hillary?
    "

    I thought that would be Barbara Streisand.


    #30
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