In my Hell...

Author
mar52
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2011/12/04 12:42:17 (permalink)

In my Hell...


In my Hell the only book is Lindsay Lohan's autobiography.
 
In my Hell I'll be driving a big yellow school bus.
 
In my Hell cilantro is the only vegetable.
 
In my Hell all shoes are high heels.
 
In my Hell panty hose is required.
 
In my Hell the only bed is a cheap fold-out sofa with a metal bar right under my hips.
 
In my Hell all peanut butter is chunky.
 
In my Hell.....
#1

24 Replies Related Threads

    wheregreggeats.com
    Filet Mignon
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 13:42:57 (permalink)
    ... all restaurants are McDonald's
    (Count me in on the pantyhose one too!!!)
    #2
    mbrookes
    Double Chili Cheeseburger
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 15:16:33 (permalink)
    ....humidity is always
    above 90% and there is no airconditioning.
    #3
    Foodbme
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 15:37:41 (permalink)

    ---there is no cold beer!
    ---I don't win the Lottery!
    ---Squid & Octopus are the only seafood!
    ---all gravies are cold!
    ---burping is not allowed!
    ---there are no hot showers!
    #4
    BelleReve
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 16:18:33 (permalink)
    ...high heels that are also two sizes too small
    ...waiting for eternity - dr's office, check out lines, traffic lights,
    ...indigestion - with no treatment for it
    ...Wheel of Fortune - is the only show on tv 
    #5
    JRPfeff
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 16:45:34 (permalink)
    ... I go into work for a few hours on Sunday before the Packers take on the Giants (because the best time to get work done is on weekends).  The office manager is there and decides to hold a meeting that lasts an hour.  Then I get a guilt trip for only putting in only two and a half hours.
    #6
    mar52
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 16:46:01 (permalink)
    In my Hell the only song on the radio is You Light Up My Life.
    #7
    chewingthefat
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 17:01:46 (permalink)
    There is no bacon
    I have to have sex with Joy Behar and Whoppi Goldberg, every day!
    #8
    wanderingjew
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 17:40:15 (permalink)
    I'm eternally struck in gridlock on the BQE, Cross Bronx Expressway or the Van Wyck (doesn't matter which one) with an 18 wheeler in front of me, to the left of me and to the right of me.
    #9
    ScreamingChicken
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 18:00:02 (permalink)
    Hell is the 15th tee on Sandy Hollow G.C. on Ladies' Day.  Been there, done that, and the memory's still vivid nearly 35 years later.
    #10
    JRPfeff
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 18:17:40 (permalink)
    ScreamingChicken

    Hell is the 15th tee on Sandy Hollow G.C. on Ladies' Day.  Been there, done that, and the memory's still vivid nearly 35 years later.

    Surprised you didn't include something about living in the home of your hated rivals as they start the year 11-0 12-0.
    post edited by JRPfeff - 2011/12/04 19:47:10
    #11
    Wabbit
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 18:52:40 (permalink)
    Im on a Airplane in the center seat. The person with the window seat needs to get up every 5 min's and there is a kid behind me kicking my seat the entire flight. Don't forget the screaming baby! Daytona to Charlotte July 97.. Still cringe when I think of it.
     
     
    #12
    mar52
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 19:06:57 (permalink)
    In my Hell all chocolate pudding is instant.
    #13
    Wabbit
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 19:32:48 (permalink)
    Lady Ga Ga is the only thing on the radio." />
    #14
    wheregreggeats.com
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 21:00:11 (permalink)
    Wabbit

    Im on a Airplane in the center seat. The person with the window seat needs to get up every 5 min's and there is a kid behind me kicking my seat the entire flight. Don't forget the screaming baby! Daytona to Charlotte July 97.. Still cringe when I think of it.



    Happily, that was just an hour ... the real hell was that you were on U.S.Air I'll bet ...
    I was on a flight from Orlando to Houston once and there were by actual count ... 1,234,455 seat kicking kids on that one flight !!!
    #15
    GotBaddog
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 21:10:29 (permalink)
    my ex-wife lives next door.
    #16
    mar52
    Sirloin
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/04 21:39:28 (permalink)
    In my Hell I have a gas stove in an all electric home.
    #17
    MetroplexJim
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/05 09:11:55 (permalink)
    chewingthefat

    There is no bacon
    I have to have sex with Joy Behar and Whoppi Goldberg, every day!


    Hey, don't knock sex twice a day with different women; your scenario might work well if you're blind and deaf - and if there is regular bathing in Hell!
    #18
    MetroplexJim
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/05 09:13:28 (permalink)
    GotBaddog

    my ex-wife lives next door.


    Maybe we can swap.
    #19
    MetroplexJim
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/05 09:17:18 (permalink)
    Wabbit

    Im on a Airplane in the center seat. The person with the window seat needs to get up every 5 min's and there is a kid behind me kicking my seat the entire flight. Don't forget the screaming baby! Daytona to Charlotte July 97.. Still cringe when I think of it.




    Tell the truth:  what was worse - your flight mates or going to Charlotte when they were redoing the airport?
    #20
    chewingthefat
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/05 11:32:14 (permalink)
    I am Rosie O'Donnell's tooth brush.
    #21
    ann peeples
    Sirloin
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/05 12:22:49 (permalink)
    ...there is always an overhead light on.
    My mother-in-law is there next to me, talking, talking, talking..
    Tv is on all the time
    No music
    #22
    chewingthefat
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/05 12:32:27 (permalink)
    Charles Manson is in charge of everything
    #23
    felix4067
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/05 12:39:21 (permalink)
    I am required to spend my days shopping, but not allowed to go to the grocery store.
    The only music is Mariah Carey or other similar singers who warble endlessly to no apparent purpose.
    #24
    chewingthefat
    Sirloin
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    Re:In my Hell... 2011/12/05 13:36:26 (permalink)
    I'd be Arethrea Franklin's permanent underpants!!
    #25
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