Submitted tongue in cheek too
"In this world of sin and sorrow, there is always something to be thankful for. As for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican."
H. L. Mencken
"I suppose I can understand the callous, selfish disregard of the conservatives. It is their pride in it that passes me by."
Rack Jite , Conservatively Incorrect
Best Fodder for the Late-Night Comedians: Senator Larry Craig (R-estroom) gave "new meaning to the word caucusing" (David Letterman) when he was caught playing footsie in the men's room with his infamous "wide stance." Craig announced his resignation, then later reversed his decision after "talking it over with guy in stall number 3" (Conan O'Brien), angering his Republican colleagues, some of whom "stopped having sex with him" (Jimmy Kimmel). The staunchly anti-gay lawmaker denied being a hypocrite, saying, "Hey, I wasn't trying to marry the cop in the bathroom" (O'Brien). Later, he was inducted into the Idaho Hall of Fame — not the entire hall, "just the men's room" (Jay Leno).
Best Sex on the City: While Rudy Giuliani was carrying on his extramarital affair as New York mayor, he reportedly billed taxpayers for security expenses incurred during his love romps in the Hamptons; attempted to hide those expenses by billing obscure city agencies; and enlisted the N.Y.P.D. to serve as a personal taxi service to chauffeur around his mistress on long trips and walk her dog.
Most Likely to Flunk a High School Civics Test: Dick Cheney, who in an attempt to shield his records from the National Archives, claimed that the office of the vice president is not a part of the executive branch, but rather a part of the legislative branch. It was also revealed that Cheney has invented his own secret document designation ("treated as" secret) to shield his everyday papers from the scrutiny of posterity, and keeps several man-sized safes where he can hide the rest of his secrets, or, if need be, his waterboard.
A Republican found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said : "I will grant you one wish." He said : "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him smarter. The next day he became a Democrat.
"Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid, it is true that most stupid people are conservative."
John Stuart Mill Island of Freedom
"The more they talk, the more being called a Liberal sounds like a compliment."
Douglas Giles, Progressive Thought
"I tell the truth and they think it's hell."
President Harry Truman, Truman Presidential Library
"Republicans want to punish work and reward wealth; hence the high payroll tax and the low dividend tax. Said one Bush economic adviser, if we can't help wealthy investors and screw working people, what's the point in being a Republican?"