I've been slapped in the face insulted!

My middle daughter has a fairly new boyfriend that she brought to our 4th of July BBQ. Seemed like a decent guy until we sat down to eat Tuesday. He didn't even try my ribs but asked if he could get some ball park franks he'd seen out in the freezer.

I was so humiliated.

The rest of us tore through 2 full slabs though.

MikeS.

Wow, that young man had some terrible manners! He acted very immaturely and you certainly should have not taken it personally. Consider the source on this one. I was thinking that perhaps he did not eat pork for some sort of religious reason but then, Ball Park franks are probably pork based!

lose him

I've reached to such a stage that no matter how gourmet my BBQ is, I always have a few burgers and a few hot dogs cooking.

Ball park franks? huh.. must have been a sale.

Mike,
Many years back--in my second bachelorhood-- a girlfriend invited me over for a home-made spaghetti dinner. She spent all day doing the sauce and getting things 'just right'. She had a daughter aged about 12 at the time who was "very" spoiled. The kid took one look at the delicious meal her mother had prepared and insisted that the Mother fix her a can of Spaghetti-O's. The saddest part of the story was that the mother DID fix her the junk to shut her up. That was the end of a blooming friendship for me.
Kids HAVE to be taught good manners...and unless the parents are willing to take the time to do that, the results are what you experienced with your visitor.

Don't let him in the house, let alone the family

One cannot be insulted by a cretin. One of the definitions of cretin encompasses the idea that only a cretin would check out someone's freezer.

I deal with this kind of stuff all he time. With 7 grandzillas and all of their friends there is always some food related issue. Don't let it hurt your feelings. Kids....... unless someone teaches them, they don't know any better. I get mt share of teaching in from time to time but I pick my battles.

Big question is..... what did your daughter think of this behaviour? I have some advice on how to deal with this if needed.
Joe

I am amazed someone who hasn't been around that long would have the nerve to ask for an alternate dinner choice. That is pretty rude to me. The fact he prefers Ball Park dogs to ribs just magnifies the problem!

The boyfriend's poor "taste" wasn't just in his mouth!

QFan
Bonita Springs, FL

tell your daughter it is time to launch that loser.

Daughter needs to get a new SO. I had the worst meal of my life recently on my 50th. But just because these folks can't cook for beans doesn't make them BAD! In fact, they're our best friends. But I have to admit.........that is pretty rude.

Maybe it was for medical reasons, false teeth?

I know someone w/ no teeth that loves ribs! They just pull the meat off the bone.
Joe

Yes, the kid sounds like some horrific demon. On the basis of this act only, even if he is the nicest kid in the world otherwise, he should be launched. He deserves no second chance.

How old was he? Was he nervous? Was he rude in the way he asked for something else?

Maybe he has an aversion to pork.

Personally, I don't think asking for an alternative is so bad, especially if it is something that can be thrown on the grill. Whenever I am grilling, I always have burgers and dogs close by in case someone isn't fond of the main meal. I like to make sure that people have a good time and don't go hungry if they are averse to the main meal.

If they act nasty about it, that's a different story.

Good to see all the perfect people on this thread.

quote:

Originally posted by saps

Good to see all the perfect people on this thread.

So you think it is fine to ask for another menu option when invited for dinner? If finding that rude makes me perfect, then I guess I am perfect. Thanks for the compliment!

Now thats the positive way to take things Tony! It's a happy world, I wish. :~)

Saps, I kinda said that maybe he didn't know any better. I think kids ( anyone under 50 ) do deserve a break because maybe no one ever took the time to explain things to them.

If somone served me something that I just could not eat ( has never happened by the way ) I'll bet I could explain my behaviour in a such a way that no post would be made here about it.

"Monkey brains, I hope you will forgive me. I'm sure they are delicious the way you prepaired them but, I had a beloved pet monkey for years, and just can't bring myself to eat monkey brains."

Truth be, I have had pet calves and goats, and eat both but, I draw the line at eating other prinmates. That is how AIDS got started in humans you know, undercooked green monkeys.
Joe

quote:

Originally posted by Tony Bad

quote:

Originally posted by saps

Good to see all the perfect people on this thread.

So you think it is fine to ask for another menu option when invited for dinner? If finding that rude makes me perfect, then I guess I am perfect. Thanks for the compliment!

It's not necessarily good manners, but it's not the end of the world nor is it the way to solely judge someone.

Put it this way- I'd rather hang out with him than a bunch of self righteous judgmental people who will dismiss you for a single mistake.

quote:

Originally posted by Michael Hoffman

One cannot be insulted by a cretin. One of the definitions of cretin encompasses the idea that only a cretin would check out someone's freezer.

This was my first thought well...more like "why the hell was he in your freezer?"

No brownie points with the dad- strike one for the boyfriend.

I've been at BBQ's at people's houses where I have declined certain foods offered for certain reasons and I see reason for it. However, I certainly don't take inventory of the place to find something I'd rather eat.

quote:

Originally posted by jack38

Maybe it was for medical reasons, false teeth?

we all know that GOOD barbecue----as i am SURE this was!!--doesnt NOT require teeth to work that hard!!--or to even show up for the occasion!

quote:

Originally posted by saps

It's not necessarily good manners, but it's not the end of the world nor is it the way to solely judge someone.

Put it this way- I'd rather hang out with him than a bunch of self righteous judgmental people who will dismiss you for a single mistake.

Interesting. You call us "self righteous judgemental people" for making one comment on one topic. Talk about being judgemental!! I guess you wouldn't want to spend much time with yourself either!

quote:

Originally posted by salsailsa

quote:

Originally posted by Michael Hoffman

One cannot be insulted by a cretin. One of the definitions of cretin encompasses the idea that only a cretin would check out someone's freezer.

This was my first thought well...more like "why the hell was he in your freezer?"

No brownie points with the dad- strike one for the boyfriend.

I've been at BBQ's at people's houses where I have declined certain foods offered for certain reasons and I see reason for it. However, I certainly don't take inventory of the place to find something I'd rather eat.

Who said that he was scoping out the freezer? He could have walked by the open freezer and seen the hot dogs. Or he could have mentioned to the daughter that he didn't like ribs and she showed him what was in the freezer and told him to ask for hot dogs instead.
Those are just as plausible as anyone else's conclusions

The last thread that got into this topic turned into a shouting match and got locked up... People...Stick to the topic and quit jumping up and down on each other.

If this topic is about manners, then he should have talked to your daughter in private and told her he wasn't a rib fan, didn't want to see ungrateful or rude, and she should have gently broken the news to you and asked if there was something else he could have.

If it's about good taste, then I guess you've got to really not like ribs to go for the Ball Parks. Look at it this way- more ribs for you!!

That being said, I can relate to being embarrassed by a boyfriend's culinary taste. My boyfriend has some odd food quirks and we went to a Jewish deli/sit-down restaurant with my family a few years ago. I was making fun of my boyfriend for not liking gefilte fish or something and my dad, known around these parts as BuddyRoadhouse, told me his tastes were up to him and I should leave him alone. Then my boyfriend ordered a corned beef sandwich with mayonnaise and suddenly he was free game- my dad's jaw dropped and he said, "go ahead, make fun of him all you want!"

LOL Abe! Hey, from what I know your dad is always right. :~)

I made a long post about how to craciously turn down monkey brains. I must have hit the wrong button, just as well!
Joe

Papa... I had done an editorial that would have consumed a full page also...and dumped it too!!!

I will say there is some difference between the "what one orders off a menu in a restaurant" as opposed to a sit-down meal as a guest in someone's home.

If it is on the menu and someone wants something weird or unusual...it (to me) is fair game....but if the Host has slaved all day and the meal is rejected by the guest (unless some here-to-for-unknown health or religious reason arises) that is poor manners on the part of the guest.

Was there a cultural "reason" behind his action?? Based on the info given It doesn't seem that way...but I wouldn't shoot the kid for this one (I also wouldn't supply him any frozen weinies)!

Anyone who orders a corned beef with mayo deserves endless ridicule. Anyone who would turn down ribs for a Ball Park frank (which, I hear, plump when you cook them) deserves a pat on the back for being considerate to leave the ribs for someone who would enjoy them more!

Sixteen years ago, my daughter brought a new boy friend for Sunday dinner. She had once told him that I was considered a "gourmet" cook. We guessed that he must have been afraid that he would have to eat something exotic for dinner that day because when dinner time came, he went out to the car and brought in a bag from a local deli and proceeded to line up small containers of salads and cold meats around his dinner plate. My daughter was mortified and I later her told her not to worry as I thought it was really funny. They are still together and now, the chicken, biscuits and gravy which I served that Sunday is his very favorite meal.

quote:

Originally posted by PapaJoe8

LOL Abe! Hey, from what I know your dad is always right. :~)

Joe

Hey Joe, where the heck were you when my daughters were growing up? I could have used you to make that statement back when it might have saved me a LOT of aggravation!

Thanks anyway, it's still nice to hear every once in a while, even now.

Buddy

P.S. In regard to the original discussion, from what I've read of MikeSh's posts here, I've got to believe that he had his tongue tightly planted in his cheek when "ranting" about the hot dog loving beau. Many of these replies are taking this whole issue way too seriously.

This was a barbecue folks, not a formal dinner party. This was a young kid lacking many of the social graces we geezers take for granted. He'll learn to roll with the culinary punches and he'll probably learn to love ribs as well, as age and experience carry him along.

As for my daughter's boyfriend, he still likes mayonnaise on his corned beef and we've come to love him in spite of it. You've got to admire a guy who can keep ruining a perfectly good corned beef sandwich in the face of all that ridicule.

B.