Kids Say the Darndest Things

I was getting ready to head out to work this afternoon, when my 8 year got home from school.

He ran into my bed room to show me his report card, suddenly he stopped and in a very straight forward tone he looked at me (getting dressed) and said...

"Dad, um I think you need to go to the doctor!"

I spun around and asked him "Why??"

Thinking he noticed something wrong on my backside.

"Cause Dad, your A$$ is cracked" he then ran out of the room laughing all the way into the kitchen.

Isn't it great to be young and silly?

Reminds me of Ralph Linklater (SIC). Sorry. I think it was him who had the show back in the 50's.

Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN

quote:

Originally posted by Sundancer7

Reminds me of Ralph Linklater (SIC). Sorry. I think it was him who had the show back in the 50's.

Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN

Art Linkletter

quote:

Originally posted by Adjudicator

quote:

Originally posted by Sundancer7

Reminds me of Ralph Linklater (SIC). Sorry. I think it was him who had the show back in the 50's.

Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN

Art Linkletter

Thanks and sorry but not bad for an old man's memory

Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN

On a trip to TX, my 3-yr-old grandson's response to me asking "Where are you?" during a cellphone conversataion: "I right here! Where you, Mamow?"

Same youngun's response to his father's observation that he had his shoes on the wrong feet: "I not! Thery're MY feet!"

It's always amazed me how an inexperienced uneducated child can cut a supposedly more experienced, better educated adult right down to size without even trying!

Well, it happened. My older son (who's almost 7), asked the big question. We'd always been able to get away with saying, "the sperm meets the egg, and they make a baby." But that wasn't enough this time. He wanted to know how the sperm got out of the father's body and into the mother's. So I told him what part of the man's body the sperm comes out of.

His response: "Does it hurt?"

My 5 year old son had a lesson where he had to write about how two things are similar and different. He chose to compare trees and people. His choices of how we differ made me laugh...

1. No Leaves

2. People drive

3. No Fruit

Interesting to see what is going on in that little head.

quote:

Originally posted by danimal15

Well, it happened. My older son (who's almost 7), asked the big question. We'd always been able to get away with saying, "the sperm meets the egg, and they make a baby." But that wasn't enough this time. He wanted to know how the sperm got out of the father's body and into the mother's. So I told him what part of the man's body the sperm comes out of.

His response: "Does it hurt?"

Yeah, my son asked, "Where did I come from?" at the age of 5. After getting a very good book from the library and similar "sperm meets egg" discussion, his response was, "Well, Greg at school said he was from Maine, and I wanted to know where I was from." Ouch!

quote:

Originally posted by danimal15

Well, it happened. My older son (who's almost 7), asked the big question. We'd always been able to get away with saying, "the sperm meets the egg, and they make a baby." But that wasn't enough this time. He wanted to know how the sperm got out of the father's body and into the mother's. So I told him what part of the man's body the sperm comes out of.

His response: "Does it hurt?"

Only if you don't know what you're doing!

My son is only 15 months old. I get to look forward to these little gems coming from his mouth.

We just bought one of those big screen HD tv's. Yesterday our 10 year old Grandson told us we would really enjoy an XBox to go with it, lacking that we should keep an eye out for a $200.00 Game Cube, it was a steal.


John

John,

Both XBOX and Game Cube are awesome on big screen HD. Hook that into your HD stereo surround, crank it up and scare the neighbors.

So is NASCAR when DW says crank it up and Boggity Boogity Boogity.

Man is it racing season yet??

The best one was when I was pregnant with my twins and my older daughter was 6.
My Dad asked her if she was going to help me with the babies when they were born, she hesitated, and said..."yess....but I'm NOT going to breast feed them!"
We still find ourselves laughing about that one!

Last night my 10 year old daughter wanted to change what we were watching, I said no, and of course she said "why not?"....I responded by saying "Caus I'm the big cheese around here!"

" Oh yeah," she says "well the big cheese stinks!"

I about fell out of my chair.

Kids are funny.

Anyone got a good recipe for them?

Start with one whole female, add 1/2 male. Mix until male becomes hard..... ok, I'll stop there

MBFD -- I think you forgot to add the vodka to the female.

Don't forget those all important preparation steps, folks.

I'll never forget when my 11 year old daughter came home upset because a boy said "Hi Sexy" to her in school. She said she just ignored him and I told her she did the right thing. She then said "I never want a boyfriend, I just want to stay here with you forever and ever".........
I just said "uh...ok....."

I had a coworker whose son always wanted to go to Chuck E Cheese. But not knowing the real name of the restaurant he would just tell his dad he wanted to go to "The Rat House"

If anyone has ever watched the tv show Full House they will understand the forthcoming comment. "Mama, Anthony is turning into Danny Tanner, only more evil."

"Holy S*** There is an Easter Bunny" was the words that came out of my 8 year olds mouth.

Needless to say that did not go over to well, and he got a taste of something and it wasn't Easter candy.

Now the story which leads to the statement:

My son is in second grade and has a classmate whose parents do not believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa, Tooth Fairy. Their son has been telling all his classmates "The Truth" and making fun of them for believing in such foolish things.

We still try and let him believe in the EB, TF & Santa, but he was really in a pickle because he still wanted to believe but was getting the peer pressure not to believe.

Saturday late evening my MIL's boyfriend called and said that the MIL was slurring her speech and now not responsive. So we called 911 and met the ambulance there. She was taken to the local hospital where we sat and waited and waited and waited for them to decide what was going on.

Finally at 1:45 Easter Sunday morning they were going to transfer her to UC (University of Cincinnati)
My son was so tired and had been sleeping curled up in a chair beside me, I carried him to the car and placed him in with my wife.

When we got home I woke him up and let him go into the house first. As he entered the living room....

The Easter Bunny had made it why we ALL were at the hospital, he was so stoked that there was an Easter Bunny he wanted to call Keenan right then and there.

He knew it was the real Easter Bunny because ALL 3 of us were at the hospital all night and no one left.

He also knew it was the real EB because he set a trap for him. Sure enough all over the bathroom floor was a fine layer of powder, and tracked throughout the kitchen and master bedroom was white "EB" tracks.

It took about 10 minutes to find everything, and by minute 15 he was sound asleep, passed out clutching his easter basket, snoring so loudly.

I picked my son up from school yesterday so we could head up to the hospital to visit the MIL
(Not my son's favorite place to be)

He got in the car and said

"Dad, If photographers sit around on their a$$, Do they get polaroids??"



Oh what kids learn in school.

On Easter morning, my grandson and I were talking about the original "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". I was telling him that I saw it in the theatre when I was a little girl, and they passed out Wonka bars with golden tickets in them.

His response? "Wow, that movie is really, really old!!"

That is such a wonderful story cajunking!!! I never grew up believing in the EAster Bunny (we just cracked cascarones on others' heads while the relatives bbq'd and drank beer) but I remember when I thought for sure Santa Claus was real! we were all getting in the car to go out of town to the mall. I told the mall Santa Claus that I wanted a Cabbage Patch Doll(this is 1983) and when we got home, it was under the tree! I could tell because of the shape of the box. but how did it get there?? We were all out of town together! Oh what wonderful thing I miss about childhood--my imagination!