This is Brian Wilson's Chili (not the Beach Boy but a radio talk show host). It's entertainingly written so I thought I'd post it in case anyone would like to try it. I haven't yet made it, my regular and white chili recipes are much easier to make. So now you know...I'm lazy.
Brian Wilson’s Gen-U-Ine Hot Damn Chili
This is the concoction with which I won First Place in the 1985 March of Dimes “Gourmet Gala”, judged by New York Times food critic, Craig Claiborne. The kitchen wall is also adorned with similar awards from competitions in Georgia, Maryland, Virginia and New York. For some inexplicable reason, there are 2 “third place” awards, however I have it on unimpeachable authority the judging on those occasions was rigged. (The son of the owner of the venue came in first. Duh!)
But I digress….
This is a very casual recipe. I’ve made it so many times, I’m not certain the measurements are all correct. The important ones are close enough. It is also a very forgiving recipe. You have to really screw up to get a bad batch. It is also a great recipe for cowards (see: Melanie Morgan). If you don’t like venison, use stew beef. If you don’t like “spicy”, cut back on the jalapenos. Of course, if you “don’t like spicy”, why the hell are you making chili!?
A final note: You will happily notice there are NO BEANS in this chili. Because if’n it’s got beans, it sure as hell ain’t CHILLI! It’s “stew” (rhymes with “p-yoo”). Adding beans voids the Warranty.
Enough foreplay. Here it is…..****
6 lbs. venison* plus Secret Ingredient (revealed later)
3-4 lbs. ground round
1 18 oz bottle Kraft BBQ sauce (“Original Flavor”
32 ounces Tomato sauce
20 ounces water
1 lb. sliced mushrooms
2-3 red bell peppers
2-3 green bell peppers
1 bottle chili powder **
1 bottle cayenne**
2-3 tablespoons cumin
10 shakes of oregano
10 shakes of garlic powder
2 days before assembly, cut meat to bite size chunks and layer in a Pyrex baking dish or similar.
Add Secret Ingredient (Equal parts of Worcestershire, Soy and Teriyaki sauce)
Be sure to add enough to nearly cover the meat. Cover and stick in frig.
The Big Day:
Slice tomatoes into 1/8ths
Slice red and green peppers bite size
Slice jalapeno peppers to ¼ in. pieces
Slice/chop onions bite size.
Secure a LARGE pot.
Set burner to Medium Warm (6-7)
Add water, tomato sauce, bbq sauce, all the spices and all the peppers, tomatoes and onions.
Stir and ignore.
Cover the bottom of a large fry pan with a light coating of olive oil.
Set burner to High (but not Highest) (8-9)
Scoop enough meat and marinate into pan to cover bottom.
This is just a quick sear, not cooking the meat. As soon as most sides are brown, dump everything into aforementioned cauldron.
Repeat. If there is any marinate left, pour that in, too.
Brown/drain ground round- add to pot.
Quick sauté of the mushrooms in some butter - add to the mess.
Cover and bring pot to a rolling boil, then reduce heat to Medium/Low (3-4)
Go find something to do for an hour or so.
*After 30 min +/-, one good stir is permissible otherwise, no peeking.
Cut the heat Off (that would be “0”) and let stand for 10-15 min.
Skim off any excess oil/fat from surface.
Mix sufficient flour and water to make a past and stir in to thicken*
*This is a subjective determination. We’re not creating SuperGlue here but the finished product should not be the consistency of soup either.
You’re done but it’s not ready to eat.
For best results, let it sit covered for 3-4 hours.
Serve in bowls. Top with shredded sharp cheddar cheese, chopped scallions and sour cream.
Notify next of kin
Appropriate side dishes: Lots of cold beer or better yet - frozen margaritas!
*Stew beef if deer season’s closed, you missed your shot or you’re a wimp-a-zoid about eating wild game.
** The entire contents of bottles of McCormick spice whatever size that is.
Note: This recipe makes a LOT of chili. Even with “seconds”, 4 adults will be stuffed.
The Good News is: it freezes perfectly for future meals or suitable hand weapon in case your unappreciative guests decide to attack.