Opinions, please.

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mar52
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2011/09/24 23:26:28 (permalink)

Opinions, please.

All opinions, positive, negative, obtuse, you name it.
 
We went to a wedding reception last night.
 
The bride was someone we've known through a few internet different chat boards for over ten years.  We've never met but have talked on the phone through the years and once when she was down and out gave her a hand.
 
She lives in Texas and the reception party was in California about 45 minutes from where we live.
 
That said, our invitation was through Facebook.  It said that there would be champagne and wedding cake.  It was to be held at what we thought was a restaurant.  Wondered why she mentioned the $7 charge to get in, but she also mentioned that she'd be responsible for paying for reservations of those that didn't show up.  We were to be there at 7PM.
 
We always arrive early to functions or appointments.  We were there before 7PM and the doors did not open until 7M.
 
We were charged the $7 each and we were also carded which was a plus.
 
Bride and groom arrive at 7:20PM with the bride's friend.  They both grew up here in the Los Angeles area and have been friends since high school.
 
We were in a bar with live music!
 
The bride and groom tell us that the were just married at Pt. Fermin, a place she's wanted to be married at since she was a kid.  Pt. Fermin is between where we live and the bar.  We were not invited to the wedding.  I figured she got married in Texas and was just having a reception here in the Los Angeles area for her childhood friends and family that still live here.
 
No one else showed up except for the waitress who gave us all menus.
 
We ended up paying to get in, paying for parking, paying for our food and drink and the gift that we gave them.
 
So it was the bride, groom, friend and the two of us.
 
I'm troubled on several aspects of the evening.
 
The invitation
The cover charge
We weren't invited to a wedding when it was here.
We basically paid for an evening out at a place I doubt I'd ever go on my own.
 
I'm glad that we went because none of her other friends showed up and we got to finally meet her.
 
Thoughts?
 
 
#1

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    chefbuba
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 00:01:27 (permalink)
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    #2
    Foodbme
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 02:49:58 (permalink)
    That's a wierd story Mar.
    My first reactions:
    They never were married.
    They/she is a lonely soul with few or no friends.
    I'd find some new "friends" if I were you.
    #3
    ann peeples
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 11:27:17 (permalink)
    Wierd story. I guess my first thought is that she should have been clear about the reception site and all it entailed.Its not uncommon in Wisconsin for people to have a reception in a bar if they cant afford much. Also, did you get champagne and cake? And only people I really have known thru my life invite me to INFORMAL functions on Facebook. She didnt promise you food or drinks( besides the aforementioned cake and champagne) so I guess, as unorthodox as the reception was, it wasnt TOO mis represented.However, as I said, wierd......
    #4
    mar52
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 15:03:14 (permalink)
    Yes, weird.
     
    She does have a lot of friends but I guess they knew what to expect.
     
    They did get married.  No chapel, no building...  just outside on the top of the cliff at Pt. Fermin.  Anyone could have been there standing around.  No reservations for the place, no permits, no nothing.
     
    The cake was made by one of her friends who did not attend UNLESS, she just thinks that the owner of the bakery is a friend.  Spice cake by the way.
     
    The bar supplied the bottle of champagne (Brut) so she wasn't out for that.
     
    I enjoyed the evening and like that we finally got to meet, but...
     
    It was just very odd.
     
     
     
     
    post edited by mar52 - 2011/09/25 15:06:11
    #5
    Greymo
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 15:32:32 (permalink)
    I  just have to tell you about the oddest wedding invitation that I ever received..  The invitation stated that the reception would be held in the back yard of the bride's parents and it was a  BYOB  and covered dish reception.
     
    At the bottom  of the invitation was a note from the bride's mother requesting me to  "Please bring a a large roasted turkeyand would you please make at least three dozen  pink frosted cupcakes as the cupcakes would be the wedding cake".
    #6
    mar52
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 16:05:50 (permalink)
    Greymo
    At the bottom  of the invitation was a note from the bride's mother requesting me to  "Please bring a a large roasted turkeyand would you please make at least three dozen  pink frosted cupcakes as the cupcakes would be the wedding cake".

     
    Did you go?  Did you Roast?  Did you bake?  What's the difference between roasting and baking?
     
    I was once invited to a friend's brother's wedding.  I was asked to make SEVERAL items, one my own creation.
     
    After the wedding the my friend's mother asked me for the recipe for that creation of mine because she told a friend who wanted the recipe that she made it!
     
     
    post edited by mar52 - 2011/09/25 16:13:48
    #7
    DawnT
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 16:19:24 (permalink)
    My first thought reading this last evening was the remark about having to cover those that didn't show up. Was she fretting or visibly upset nobody else came and she was going to have to pony up those reservation costs? The cake size/serving paperware was the other thing that I was wondering about and how many folks she was anticipating matching the invites. Lot's of people are now having private ceremonies in exotic places with just the immediate family and throwing a reception afterwards, so that doesn't surprise me. No matter what, there has to be a record of the wedding. I don't know if LA county has online searchable public records like we do, perhaps even searching the net for an announcement might turn up a clue that it happened elsewhere.
     
    Yes, this may seem odd, but there is another factor to consider here especially among an older generation that's not too net savvy and can't comprehend virtual friendships or meeting someone online that leads to a relationship. If you've been in touch and virtual friends with her over ten years, you were pretty much a pioneer among your own peers. She may very well be trying to keep her virtual life and friendships separate from her real life ones. There are a lot of reasons, but I would suspect there's probably a stigma attached to it with her older family members. This was/is incomprehensible to my parents and the barrage of bad net press about "chatrooms" and cybersex during the mid to latter 90's had forever colored most of the older members of both sides of my family that have never used the net with the sum impression that it's a cesspool. The net's a great equalizer in a virtual world where you might be comfortable with someone that you might be hesitant to be associated with among your social/family network. Because you may know them intimately, you still have never been around them face to face and may not know what to expect.
    #8
    dimmie2
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 17:06:09 (permalink)
    It was an odd setting and the piano bar never would have been my choice, but overall, I had a good time and was glad we attended.
    #9
    mar52
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 17:18:07 (permalink)
    Dawn, that's a good theory, but her life including her new husband has been on the internet for years. She met him at a dating site.
     
    I still think that maybe the main marriage took place in Texas.
     
    Doesn't really matter.
     
    She was expected a total of 10 people and the cake would have served all ten with some left over.  The people she was excpecting were her California friends.
     
    I think the problem I most have a problem with is the cover charge to get in to the celebration.   
    #10
    JRPfeff
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 17:43:34 (permalink)
    Wait 'til my daughter finds out that I have her wedding planned for her.
    #11
    BackAlleyBurger
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 22:10:23 (permalink)
    lol, hey man, dont sweat it, life isnt just a job, its an adventure, what seems weird to you may have been perfectly normal in her eyes.... ya had fun, so chalk it up to those colorful differences that make the world a brighter place...
     
    .... the 7 bucks may have been the normal cover charge for the bar...
    #12
    mar52
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/25 23:43:48 (permalink)
    Hey gal... Yes, I did have a good time and yes, the $7 was the cover charge.  Didn't I write that above?
     
    My opinion is that it's odd to have friends pay to enter your wedding reception.
     
    The majority of weddings I've been to where paid parking was involved, they stamped parking tickets if there was a valet.
     
    As I said, I had a great time.  I was just rather shocked with all the things needing to be paid for.
     
    This was just very different.
     
     
    #13
    ScreamingChicken
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/26 16:04:00 (permalink)
    JRPfeff

    Wait 'til my daughter finds out that I have her wedding planned for her.


    Will you need to borrow one of my grills?  Or will it be catered by Burt's?
     
    Brad
    #14
    chewingthefat
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/26 17:13:27 (permalink)
     
    Mar, sounds like a $.50 off coupon for say, Aax,  from Ralph's would have been an appropriate wedding gift for her!
    #15
    Tony Bad
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/26 17:54:11 (permalink)
    My take away?
     
    Don't get too chummy with folks you meet on the internets!
     
     
    #16
    joerogo
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/26 20:02:18 (permalink)
    Tony Bad

    Don't get too chummy with folks you meet on the internets!

     

     
    WOOF!  Took the words right outta my mouth!
    #17
    wanderingjew
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/26 20:30:25 (permalink)
    I don't believe in meeting "strange people" on the internet. 
     
     
    ****edit*****
     
    although I made an exception or two with both Tony Bad and Joe Rogo
    post edited by wanderingjew - 2011/09/26 21:08:27
    #18
    Tony Bad
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/26 21:05:30 (permalink)
    joerogo

    Tony Bad

    Don't get too chummy with folks you meet on the internets!



    WOOF!  Took the words right outta my mouth!

     
    I was going to use you as proof of my theory!
     
    where is that winking smiley? 
    #19
    DawnT
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/26 21:31:13 (permalink)
    I guess you haven't taken the time to see what some of the internet folks think of us.
    "Strange People" might very well be a compliment by comparison.
     
    wanderingjew

    I don't believe in meeting "strange people" on the internet. 


    #20
    ann peeples
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/27 14:05:32 (permalink)
    In my earlier response, I should have applauded Mar for her decision to attend. Had it not been for this site, I wouldnt have met some really good people.I took a chance, for my first roadfood meet, to join The Mayor, Chitown Diner, Stricken Detective, and the Prof. of Hot Dogs and his wife. Bob thought it wierd, but he went anyway. Had one of the better times we have ever had. He now never hesitates.I have missed alot of good food meet-ups, especially with the contingent-I was able to enjoy one with them in Kenosha a couple years ago. And then there was dinner with wandering jew and JRPfeff and Pie Diva.My point being, the internet provides a wonderful opportunity to expand your horizons. I understand there are wierdos out there, but I wouldnt ever hesitate, if possible, to meet ANYONE on this site.As for what people think of us on the internet, Dawn, I could care less.I believe wj's response was tongue in cheek.......
    #21
    mar52
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/27 14:23:36 (permalink)
    Thanks, Ann.  
     
    I have also met some wonderful friends through the internet, and this newly married friend is one of them.  As I said, we'd been friends for years, just never met prior to the wedding.
     
    In fact at the 12 year old board that we know each other from there are 3 different couples who met and married all from chatting on that board.
     
    This was just a weird wedding celebration and I'm sure there are other weird wedding tales out there to be told.
     
    By the way...  I'd do it again. 
    #22
    ChrisOC
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/27 16:30:09 (permalink)
    This made me think of a strange reception I attended years ago.  It was in a large hall, probably 100 people there.  The bridal party was served at their table.  Prime rib.  The brides parents and the grooms parents tables were served.  Prime rib.  Everyone else was called to the buffet.  Spaghetti and a tossed salad, but they had no dressing.
    #23
    wanderingjew
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/27 17:58:34 (permalink)
    ann peeples

    Dawn, I could care less.I believe wj's response was tongue in cheek.......

     
    Yes it was....
    But the part about Tony Bad and Joe Rogo wasn't !   
    #24
    joerogo
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/27 20:20:56 (permalink)
    wanderingjew

    ann peeples

    Dawn, I could care less.I believe wj's response was tongue in cheek.......


    Yes it was....
    But the part about Tony Bad and Joe Rogo wasn't !   

     
    That's it I'm done with you too Screaming Brad  WanderingJew
      
    Betcha my list is longer than yours
    #25
    mar52
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/27 21:14:17 (permalink)
    ChrisOC

    This made me think of a strange reception I attended years ago.  It was in a large hall, probably 100 people there.  The bridal party was served at their table.  Prime rib.  The brides parents and the grooms parents tables were served.  Prime rib.  Everyone else was called to the buffet.  Spaghetti and a tossed salad, but they had no dressing.

     
    Also very strange, indeed.

    #26
    wanderingjew
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    Re:Opinions, please. 2011/09/28 08:05:46 (permalink)
    joerogo

    wanderingjew

    ann peeples

    Dawn, I could care less.I believe wj's response was tongue in cheek.......


    Yes it was....
    But the part about Tony Bad and Joe Rogo wasn't !   


    That's it I'm done with you too Screaming Brad  WanderingJew
     
    Betcha my list is longer than yours


    Oh yeah??!!  I challenge  you!

    Oh and btw, BUDWEISER still sucks!
    #27
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