The Kitsch Kitchen

In a spirit of holiday extravagance, we have compiled a Top-Ten list of our favorite kitsch dishes for Epicurious.com. Needless to say, this only scratches the surface: http://eat.epicurious.com/holiday/christmas/index.ssf/?/holiday/christmas/kitsch.html

quote:

Originally posted by Michael Stern

In a spirit of holiday extravagance, we have compiled a Top-Ten list of our favorite kitsch dishes for Epicurious.com. Needless to say, this only scratches the surface: http://eat.epicurious.com/holiday/christmas/index.ssf/?/holiday/christmas/kitsch.html

What? No holiday lutefisk smoothies?? Have you no holiday spirit, Mr. and Mrs. Scrooge, er...Stern?

Weren't those mushroom/bacon tidbits called something else in one of your books?

I have never tried them, but they do sound strangely appealing!

Or Green bean jello mackerelly fish balls en mousse *shudder*

I think the Cat-box cake belongs here too!

"Excuuuse me", but shouldn't Lipton's California Onion Dip be #1???? You show me a holiday buffet without it & I'll show you an incomplete buffet!!

What about your auntie's favorite rum balls???? More appropriately they should be named cannon balls cuz they sit in your stomach like lead. Maybe someone here should invent an injected Martini Ball........hmmmmmm.

My pick would be red jello (some might call it strawberry, but I'm not sure it ever saw a strawberry) with fruit cocktail fruit pieces suspended throughout it !!!

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Originally posted by scbuzz

My pick would be red jello (some might call it strawberry, but I'm not sure it ever saw a strawberry) with fruit cocktail fruit pieces suspended throughout it !!!

Reminds me of the New Jersey diner where we asked the waitress what kind of pie she had. "Red," she replied. And that was it: bright red, sweet mucilage in a crust without a hint of fruit.

Although some make think the adjectival modifier unnecessary: bad fondue. I can just see Vincent Price dipping a long, two-pronged fork into this cheesy comestible with one hand, while waving a flaming skewer of shaslik in the other.

The ultimate sweet potato Kitsch:

I came across a recipe in a small town cookbook last night for "sweet potato balls". It involved making a paste of canned sweet potatoes and sugar and wrapping the mixture around a Jet-Puffed marshmallow, rolling the whole thing in coconut and baking.

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Originally posted by clothier

I am so in! I made chex mix and a cheese-ball for Thanksgiving!!

-Clothier, basking in his own coolness.

No green bean casserole?

If this isn't kitchy I don't know what is: Just in from our fine friends over at Kraft Foods, this marvelous holiday recipe:

CHOCOLATE VELVEETA FUDGE

And no, I'm not making this up cuz they listed the recipe and here it is:
3/4 # VELVEETA Pasturized Cheese Product
1 C butter
6 sq. Baker's Unsweetened Chocolate
2T lt. corn syrup
2 16 oz. pkg. powdered sugar
1-1/2 C chopped pecans
1 t. vanilla

Microwave first 4 ings. on High for 3 mins. Add to sugar and beat with electric mixer, add pecans and vanilla. Pour into 13x9 greased pan. Refrigerate. Makes 96 1" squares.

I think clothier should make up a batch and invite 96 of us to his place to taste.

Ok ... two words ..... Yeck !!! Yeck !!!

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Originally posted by clothier

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Originally posted by lleechef

If this isn't kitchy I don't know what is: Just in from our fine friends over at Kraft Foods, this marvelous holiday recipe:

CHOCOLATE VELVEETA FUDGE

And no, I'm not making this up cuz they listed the recipe and here it is:
3/4 # VELVEETA Pasturized Cheese Product
1 C butter
6 sq. Baker's Unsweetened Chocolate
2T lt. corn syrup
2 16 oz. pkg. powdered sugar
1-1/2 C chopped pecans
1 t. vanilla

Microwave first 4 ings. on High for 3 mins. Add to sugar and beat with electric mixer, add pecans and vanilla. Pour into 13x9 greased pan. Refrigerate. Makes 96 1" squares.

I think clothier should make up a batch and invite 96 of us to his place to taste.

Deal. When are you coming to back to Michigan?

I was just there in September! But it would be worth the trip to eat Chocolate Velveeta with you and 94 others!

How about adding some turkey beans too!!!

That should kick it up a notch !!!

Oops .... is that patented ???

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Originally posted by clothier

turkey beans? who would patent that?

Are they the turkey equivalent of rooster fries?

Speaking of Velveeta Fudge,.... Has anyone seen the recipe for using pinto beans in a fudge recipe? When your REALLY desperate for fudge. What the pioneers wouldn't use for substitutes.

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Originally posted by ToddH

Speaking of Velveeta Fudge,.... Has anyone seen the recipe for using pinto beans in a fudge recipe? When your REALLY desperate for fudge. What the pioneers wouldn't use for substitutes.

Of course the only problem with Pinto beans is that if you're ever rear-ended, you might explode. (OK, so this is the case with any bean.)

clothier, what other kitsch are you going to serve with the fudge? How about matzoh ball soup? But you have to make it the day before (like my Jewish sous chef) so that the balls blow up to the size of SOFTBALLS and we couldn't fit them in the soup cups.......oh, but those tiny little bow-tie pastas were so delicate along with the BIG BALLS.

YES!! SILLY!! The Frankfurter Spectacular and the Snappy Mackeral Casserole!!!!!!!!

ALL the WW meals??? Ok, I'm booking my ticket to Detroit RIGHT NOW!! YAHOO!!
Yesterday's chili feed was a huge success, I made around 50 gallons of chili, used pork, beef, ground beef and sausage and (shhhhhh....whispering now.....beans). Threw in jalapenos, tomatoes, peppers, beer, you name it. And made 15 jalapeno/cheddar cornbreads.
I think I have 200 Air National Guardsmen that want to marry me........

Nothing is illegal here, we just have to get the permission of the Great Three Wise Men, aka The Three Stooges

Um well, I could make a Melon Mousse, and y'all could come over, and you know how we play doubles in tennis, well, um, we could have a swap since it is 1974......
HEEELLLLPPPP my brain has a virus after reading those WW picture cards!!!
I think I'll take my knicknacks and go surround myself in the kitchen with em and whip up a batch of Chocolate Velveeta Fudge.

Thank you J & MS for this great list. My boss is hosting his first ever holiday party at his house for about 50 of his staff and he was asking for hors d'ouerve suggestions. Either I get promoted or some other consequence, but at least one of those might show up. The mock apple pie looks strangely good ...

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Originally posted by clothier

I'm pretty sure my wife would object, but I'd have to double check with her. Somedays, I'm not so much a prize.

As opposed to you, who of course, is perfect eveyday!

You know, if a second wife cooked like Llechef, wore my size and did windows, I might have to revise my backwards notions of one man one wife...

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Originally posted by marberthenad

Thank you J & MS for this great list. My boss is hosting his first ever holiday party at his house for about 50 of his staff and he was asking for hors d'ouerve suggestions. Either I get promoted or some other consequence, but at least one of those might show up. The mock apple pie looks strangely good ...

ONLY make the mock apple pie if you want to get DEMOTED and FIRED immediately! Otherwise, go to other threads on other forums here and find really awesome food and how to cook it up properly.
Ahem, now I'm going back to my Frankfurter Extravaganza (I re-named it, I love it so much) gotta cut the pineapple just SO, work the weenies around it.........this is getting sensual.

lleechef, sounds like good advice. I am bringing a turducken to this party, but I do need a side. any suggestions on a jellied salad?

Any jello concoction will do as long as you put it in a proper mold.I had a great aunt who was the queen of jello molds and she had different molds for each holiday and,of course,all of the animal kingdom. They were great fun. Now I have the J-E-L-L-O song stuck in my head.

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Originally posted by marberthenad

lleechef, sounds like good advice. I am bringing a turducken to this party, but I do need a side. any suggestions on a jellied salad?

I'll have to get back to you on that because it's going to require a phone call to Mom who has some really good recipes but since I don't especially care for them I never bothered to ask! I will post ASAP.