The worst Pizza you ever ate!!

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lleechef
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/01/06 18:21:53 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by Ort. Carlton.

Dearfolk,
Once when I was really, really drunk (I was a younger man then), someone pulled a prank on me. They pulled out the round cardboard thing in the bottom of the pizza box, spread tomato sauce on it, added some pepperoni for topping, baked it for a minute, cut it into slices, and mentioned to me that "Pizza's on."
I was halfway through the third slice when I realized

You are too funny! Or too drunk!
wanderingjew
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/01/06 19:08:58 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by Ort. Carlton.

Dearfolk,
Once when I was really, really drunk (I was a younger man then), someone pulled a prank on me. They pulled out the round cardboard thing in the bottom of the pizza box, spread tomato sauce on it, added some pepperoni for topping, baked it for a minute, cut it into slices, and mentioned to me that "Pizza's on."
I was halfway through the third slice when I realized


Hey Ort,

Think of all the "roughage" good for the digestive system!
Sushi_Girl
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/01/09 15:03:26 (permalink)
Have to agree with the consensus on Papa Johns and Little Caesers. The pizza hut by my house is actually not that bad when im in a pinch i usually can get them to do anything i want with it, i like jalepenos, chicken and onions, lite sauce thin and crispy and it comes out pretty decent. Tony & Pats pizzaria is a locally owned business, and they have this veggie pizza with tomatos, broccoli,onions,mushrooms,and various other delights thats so fresh and lovely, thier garlic rolls are atomic but worth the ruined breath for life. Leonardos is okay too, but the one on millhopper not on 13th and university.
IansMom
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/01/09 15:29:05 (permalink)
Worse Pizza I ever ate was in a tiny town called Bet Shean in Israel... Cardboard would of been heaven compared to this ...
i95
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/01/11 11:28:56 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by clothier

quote:
Originally posted by i95

quote:
Originally posted by danimal15

You can always count on really terrible pizza at the slopeside restaurant of the Midwestern "ski" resort of your choice.


That is sooooooo true! However, such isn't restricted to one region but MOST U.S. ski slopes. I'm taking the family today through Wednesday skiing in West Virginia and will likely only reconfirm as much. Conversely, even the worst reheated french fries can taste like the nectar of the Gods after being on the slopes for four hours.


When I was a kid, we used to frequent the slopes of Boyne Mt. all the time. They used to make a rare roast beef sandwich on a hard roll with leaf lettuce, red onion and horseradish sause that was outstanding.
Other than that, not much to eat that was edible slope side in the midwest.
On the other hand, eating out west is fab. Used to eat at Gretl's at mid-mountain at Ajax that was great. They used to make their own apple strudel. Mit Schlag, if you please. And there was a crepe place around the backside of Buttermilk that made it worthwhile to ski at Buttermilk.


Copper Mountain just west of Denver, too, has a couple of mid-station grilling houses serving burgers and chicken as you find yourself half-way down the slopes.

In one aspect, how friggin' pathetic is that? You can't complete a down-hill, gravity-driven, "athletic" event without stopping for a burger?!

On the the other hand, I remember them as darn fine burgers!
Grampy
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/01/11 12:09:43 (permalink)
I have had mediocre pizza, as well as bad pizza, but nothing I thought would qualify for this thread. Then, like Gregory Peck in Spellbound, it struck me what I have been storing in my subconscious for many years. The place was the small town of London, England, in 1978. The pizza [sic] joint was shaped like a chalet. Fortunately, I do not recall its name, but the slab of unpleasant stuff was monumentally bad. The dough, if I dare call it that, was the consistency of a soggy bagel dipped in grease, and then squeezed through a ringer to flatten it out. The sauce was some leftover, rancid ketchup, no doubt recycled from the fake blood from an early Hammer werewolf film. The abomination was then scattered with the likes of bacony-ham-cheesy bits that a seasoned billy goat would turn up his snoot at. But the oddest part of the meal was the two elderly British women (who, in retrospect, I am sure were Graham Chapman and Eric Idle) sitting next to us. Like Julia Child and Jacques Pépin, they were engaged in heated conversation over the superior merits of the whole sausage pizza versus the fried egg pizza. I have not been to Britain since 1986, but, is there any real pizza there yet? Those who have not tasted pizza outside of Britain are not eligible for a reply -- sorry.
Grampy
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/01/11 22:54:28 (permalink)
Well taken, and duly noted. Just don't get me started on Whimpy Bars. Eggs, yeggs!
Ort. Carlton.
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/01/11 22:59:19 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by lleechef

quote:
Originally posted by Ort. Carlton.

Dearfolk,

You are too funny! Or too drunk!


Lleechef,
All three.
Totally Honestly Submitted, Ort. Carlton in Warm-Enough-To-Melt-The-Brain-Ice Athens, Georgia.
Grampy
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/01/11 23:23:10 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by Ort. Carlton.

quote:
Originally posted by lleechef

quote:
Originally posted by Ort. Carlton.

Dearfolk,

You are too funny! Or too drunk!


Lleechef,
All three.
Totally Honestly Submitted, Ort. Carlton in Warm-Enough-To-Melt-The-Brain-Ice Athens, Georgia.

All three? What about the othe two? Besides, can anyone be two -- er, too -- funny? I know about the latter issue.
bravehearteire
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/01/22 00:51:09 (permalink)
The worst was definately at a Busch Gardens in Williamsburg Virginia. It was in the German Pavillion.
The second worst is Papa John's . I've tried it twice and never make it through more than one slice.
Sushi_Girl
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/01/23 15:36:25 (permalink)
DOMINOES! Hands down is the most Crap-tactular pizza i have ever had. i dont understand why its so popular....
GigaShadow
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/26 15:14:51 (permalink)
Sorry to revive an old topic, I just had to comment due to where I live.

You all don't know bad pizza until you have lived in the deep south. There is no pizza restaurant within 100 miles that I have liked and I have tried most of them. I grew up in South Jersey (Medford) and am used to independent pizza shops.

The most popular pizza chains down here are Domino's and Papa Johns. When I happened upon this forum I realized what I really missed about the north, besides the intelligence level . I miss the food! Give me real pizza and a Philly hotdog vendor and I could live off that kind of food for the rest of my life.
Neptune Diner
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/26 16:09:45 (permalink)
The worst has got to be Rusty's, a delivery operation in Santa Barbara. It's not that it's so bad, I mean, it's edible. But they know it's substandard enough that they automatically send out sides of ranch dressing along with every order.
Ort. Carlton.
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/26 20:37:29 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by GigaShadow

Sorry to revive an old topic, I just had to comment due to where I live.

You all don't know bad pizza until you have lived in the deep south. There is no pizza restaurant within 100 miles that I have liked and I have tried most of them. I grew up in South Jersey (Medford) and am used to independent pizza shops.

The most popular pizza chains down here are Domino's and Papa Johns. When I happened upon this forum I realized what I really missed about the north, besides the intelligence level . I miss the food! Give me real pizza and a Philly hotdog vendor and I could live off that kind of food for the rest of my life.


GigaShadow,
Where you at? We'll try to find you some if you'll put a pin in the map for us. "Down here" is too vague for us to be of help.
Most larger Southern cities have at least one pizza place run by expatriate Northerners who have at least some conception of what a decent pie is. The ingredients are no big deal: they're available now by refrig air freight if not locally.
We'll help you if we can. Until such time, try my trick I mentioned up a ways. It really wasn't too bad, especially if you're used to dreadful pizza that makes the out-of-the-box stuff seem like a blessing.
I wouldn't give you a dime for all the Domino's, Pizza Hut, or Papa John's from here to yonderways. That's flat not pizza. I may be a native of Georgia, but I do know the difference because I've eaten the real stuff. Now if I could only teleport to New Haven for one of those apizzas....
Slicingly, Ort. Carlton in Athens, Georgia.
P. S. We Southerners aren't stupid: we just talk slow so as not to build up a sweat.
michaelgemmell
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/27 02:31:36 (permalink)
17 years in Chicago and I never had better pizza--except my brother's deep dish homemade--than the Greco-Romana Caffe at Clement and 26th Avenue in San Francisco. They bake the crust with only a splash of red sauce first, pull it out, add toppings of high quality and finish off. So this place is less than a mile from the Pacific. What's this about a set distance from the Atlantic? Bad pizza is everywhere! Lucky me, I found some GOOD.
pappy
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/27 12:58:13 (permalink)
My ex used to work for the "Chef Boy r dee " Pizza place where they manufactured that stuff about a thousand years ago. Of course we had tons of it that came home with my ex...yuk !! But for a chain pizza the worst was Little Caesars in Clearwater, FL. Positively horrendous. Compared to them, Pizza Hut is a gourmet delight.... for sure.

Pappy
lleechef
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/27 15:15:25 (permalink)
Worst pizza I ever had was in South Boston (the Irish are NOT famous for making pizza apparently). The crust was like rubber, the sauce straight out of a can, too much bland cheese and pepperoni that was OOZING grease. Nasty!
GigaShadow
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/29 11:03:41 (permalink)
No disrespect Ort! I really miss the food more than anything. I absolutely detest BBQ.

I live in Phenix City Alabama. I work in Auburn. My wife has become quite good at making the Chef Boy Ardee pizzas from a box. They really aren't that bad - but if I am ordering out I usually go with Moma U Bake - pretty much they make it, you bake it if you couldn't tell by the name. It sort of reminds me of the old Shakey's pizza I used to eat back in the 70's.

I have also managed to my own Brats with Boarshead and a Publix Baquet. Add some kraut and it is really good!
stormycat
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/29 12:32:49 (permalink)
Blackjack Pizza in Laramie Wyoming! OMG-it tastes like wet dough topped w/ catsup and water softener salt pellets. I have to admit that I have a special place in my heart for papa johns and little caesars...but i don't really consider that pizza. More like "pizza-inspired baked disks".
mtbuckingham
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/29 12:50:29 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by Grampy

I have had mediocre pizza, as well as bad pizza, but nothing I thought would qualify for this thread. Then, like Gregory Peck in Spellbound, it struck me what I have been storing in my subconscious for many years. The place was the small town of London, England, in 1978. The pizza [sic] joint was shaped like a chalet. Fortunately, I do not recall its name, but the slab of unpleasant stuff was monumentally bad. The dough, if I dare call it that, was the consistency of a soggy bagel dipped in grease, and then squeezed through a ringer to flatten it out. The sauce was some leftover, rancid ketchup, no doubt recycled from the fake blood from an early Hammer werewolf film. The abomination was then scattered with the likes of bacony-ham-cheesy bits that a seasoned billy goat would turn up his snoot at. But the oddest part of the meal was the two elderly British women (who, in retrospect, I am sure were Graham Chapman and Eric Idle) sitting next to us. Like Julia Child and Jacques Pépin, they were engaged in heated conversation over the superior merits of the whole sausage pizza versus the fried egg pizza. I have not been to Britain since 1986, but, is there any real pizza there yet? Those who have not tasted pizza outside of Britain are not eligible for a reply -- sorry.


Ah, it all makes sense now. Back in middle school, I had a friend from England who hated- HATED!!! -pizza. Wouldn't touch the stuff. Wrinkled her nose and stuck out her tongue at the thought. She's coming to visit in May for the first time since. Should I take her for pizza?
BernieG
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/29 12:57:53 (permalink)
Without question, it was "Wicked Good Pizza" in Ludlow VT. Even those nasty cardboard-like squares that they served in school tasted better. To a person (there were 9 of us) we all agreed it was horrible.
lmariaschneider
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/29 18:45:48 (permalink)
Try Pizzeria Regina Margherita in Pittsburgh (one in Lawrenceville, near the Strip District and one in Bellevue). Equipment and ingredients imported from Italy and delicious neapolitan-style pizza. BYOB, simple green salads with a perfect balsamic vinagrette, and excellent italian desserts. I think I need a fix right now...

Lauren
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/29 19:52:07 (permalink)
Anyone see the world pizza special on Food TV? The Italians won (fix!!). But from the US, guys from Ohio seem to rule. And how many miles is that from the Atlantic Ocean?
gordo2
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/29 21:39:01 (permalink)
The absolute worst pizza I have ever eaten was in the town of Mas in Bali, Indonesia. Doubtless you're wondering what kind of braindead peckerwood would order that dish in that locale, and I can only plead dementia resulting from weeks of excessive curry consumption!
The "crust" was something between a stale tortilla and a Uneeda biscuit made of plaster of Paris. The "topping" consisted of what looked like Campbell's tomato soup and chunks of an UNMELTED white cheese made by people who only have a sketchy second hand knowledge of dairy products.
Eating it obviously wasn't an option, so my friends and I discussed other possible uses, all too horrible to mention here. Next time, I'll stick to curry!
Theedge
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/30 14:04:09 (permalink)
Gordon, I have to agree with you. I'm from a small town in "fly over country" And we have two great mom and pop thin crust pizza joints. Both started by different Greek families. Last night I had the Greek Chicken pizza with a white sauce, black olive, green peppers and onions. So much for the 200 mile rule.

The worst pizza is any pizza I've ever gotten in a hotel, over priced and it always sucks.

As for Papa Johns there is something in thier pizza that doesn't quite sit right with me, if you know what I mean.
GigaShadow
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/30 15:00:07 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by Theedge


As for Papa Johns there is something in thier pizza that doesn't quite sit right with me, if you know what I mean.


I know exactly what you mean.
LegalLady
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/03/30 17:29:12 (permalink)
Papa John's, hands down. Partially baked, take it home and finish! Gross. No flavor, yucky toppings! Valentino's runs a close second, greasy yuck! Pizza Hut has a Sunday Brunch that isn't to bad. I will say my pizza is better than those.

Of course Nebraska is not famous for it's pizza

Legally Speaking in the Panhandle
dd421
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/04/05 16:40:54 (permalink)
Ellio's
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/04/05 18:55:16 (permalink)
Hialeah (FL) Roller Rink.

So bad, I got a sore throat from it.
Ort. Carlton.
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RE: The worst Pizza you ever ate!! 2004/04/05 22:11:19 (permalink)
quote:
Originally posted by GigaShadow

No disrespect Ort! I really miss the food more than anything. I absolutely detest BBQ.

I live in Phenix City Alabama. I work in Auburn. My wife has become quite good at making the Chef Boy Ardee pizzas from a box. They really aren't that bad - but if I am ordering out I usually go with Moma U Bake - pretty much they make it, you bake it if you couldn't tell by the name. It sort of reminds me of the old Shakey's pizza I used to eat back in the 70's.

I have also managed to my own Brats with Boarshead and a Publix Baquet. Add some kraut and it is really good!


GigaShadow,
Improvisation is indeed a wonderful thing! Publix and a couple of other stores youraways actually have some deent stuff, but you have to look for it. And adapt it to your needs.
With all the transitory military folks in Columbus, plus all the Army retirees there, you ought to be able to hunt up some other-than-local food items through careful search. Good luck.
No offense was taken. It's just that I'll eat practically anything at least once... even livermush. Some people are indeed pickier than I am.
But I still can't eat pickled pig's feet, and my mother loved 'em. By now I'm hopelessly digressing, though.
Ramblingly, Ort. Carlton in 200-Miles-Away Athens, Georgia.
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