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 Things that you learn in the South:

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Foodbme

  • Total Posts: 9579
  • Joined: 9/1/2006
  • Location: Gilbert, AZ
Things that you learn in the South: Tue, 06/21/11 5:22 PM (permalink)
Things that you learn in the South:

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South. 
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before. 
If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
Jawl-P? means Did y'all go to the bathroom?
People actually grow and eat okra.
Fixinto is one word. It means I'm fixing to do that.
There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South. 
We talk slower cause it's too hot to waste engery
We don't understand folks that talk fast for the same reason.
The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning Did you eat?
You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
Ya'll is singular, all ya'll is plural.
You measure distance in minutes.
You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal. 
You know what a DAWG is.
You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.|
You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony's, Tabasco and ketchup. 
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motorsports, and gossip.
The first day of deer season is a holiday.
You know what a hissy fit is.
Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin |Wal-Martin' or off to Wally World.
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit. 
 
You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH. If ya wanna, ya could just send it to make a friend laugh cause if your REALLY from the South ya already know the best kept secret |in the whole Country. Ya have to be from & live here to know what it is. 
<message edited by Foodbme on Tue, 06/21/11 5:23 PM>
 
#1
    sk bob

    • Total Posts: 1801
    • Joined: 12/29/2005
    • Location: South Daytona, FL
    Re:Things that you learn in the South: Tue, 06/21/11 10:04 PM (permalink)
    you must have just discovered Jeff Foxworhty.
    none of that is true
    except 70% exists in the swamps of Florida
     
    #2
      felix4067

      • Total Posts: 3305
      • Joined: 12/13/2003
      • Location: Near Grand Rapids, MI
      Re:Things that you learn in the South: Wed, 06/22/11 12:23 AM (permalink)
      Well, a fair portion of it is true in Alabama and Mississippi, as well as quite a few parts of Louisiana.
       
      #3
        Foodbme

        • Total Posts: 9579
        • Joined: 9/1/2006
        • Location: Gilbert, AZ
        Re:Things that you learn in the South: Wed, 06/22/11 1:31 AM (permalink)
        sk bob
         
        none of that is true

        You never met my S-I-L. He's a Native Tennessean! Complete with an Orangeneck! And he's always fixinto go to Vols Games! Tailgating consist of Country Ham Biscuits And Budweiser.
        <message edited by Foodbme on Wed, 06/22/11 1:37 AM>
         
        #4
          mar52

          • Total Posts: 7609
          • Joined: 4/17/2005
          • Location: Marina del Rey, CA
          Re:Things that you learn in the South: Wed, 06/22/11 11:09 AM (permalink)
          If McKinney, TX qualifies as the South than...
           
          While searching for Roadfood eating establishments you discover that you've become the Roadfood to mosquitoes that you could ride.
           
          #5
            eruby

            • Total Posts: 586
            • Joined: 2/28/2008
            • Location: Carroll County, People's Republic of Maryland
            • Roadfood Insider
            Re:Things that you learn in the South: Wed, 06/22/11 1:10 PM (permalink)
            Well done Foodbme.
             
            'buggy' and 'jeet' apply in Pittsburgh as well.
             
            #6
              BackAlleyBurger

              • Total Posts: 1077
              • Joined: 1/30/2011
              • Location: FAYETTEVILLE, NC
              Re:Things that you learn in the South: Wed, 06/22/11 11:22 PM (permalink)
              Foodbme
               Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South. 

               
              2?? lmao....two months maybe....... i can seriously count on two hands the number of knee draggers ive seen sucking tea out of a bottle so far this year alone!, lol......  its the nectar of the gods man.... nectar
               
              dont forget the yonders.......
              over yonder is within eyesight and usually arms reach or just a few steps away....
              down yonder is when you have to walk to get to it and cant see it yet
               
              #7
                SeamusD

                • Total Posts: 942
                • Joined: 4/1/2008
                • Location: Syracuse, NY
                Re:Things that you learn in the South: Thu, 06/23/11 3:22 PM (permalink)
                "We talk slower cause it's too hot to waste engery"
                 
                I got an engery once... mama smacked me with the frying pan for sassing her back!
                Also, I've noticed southerners slow their speech down even further when they use a cuss word.
                 
                #8
                  carlton pierre

                  • Total Posts: 2500
                  • Joined: 7/12/2004
                  • Location: Knoxville, TN
                  Re:Things that you learn in the South: Sat, 06/25/11 9:34 AM (permalink)
                  The Civil War is still being waged here by a lot of people.
                   
                  #9
                    Ort. Carlton.

                    • Total Posts: 3589
                    • Joined: 4/9/2003
                    • Location: Athens, GA
                    Re:Things that you learn in the South: Thu, 07/28/11 4:37 PM (permalink)
                    Dearfolk,
                       My father was born in a town so small and obscure that he never knew he was born there. I hadta ask Grandma Carlton. She got quite a chuckle out of it.
                       Dadburn place made Zolfo Springs look like Times Square by comparison. (The zip is 33890. It's real.)
                          Wholeheartedly, Ort.en The Obscure.
                     
                    #10
                      mbrookes

                      • Total Posts: 1350
                      • Joined: 10/8/2004
                      • Location: Jackson, MS
                      Re:Things that you learn in the South: Thu, 07/28/11 5:16 PM (permalink)
                      Carlton, that's because some of us are hoping for a different ending this time.
                      And PLEASE don't think Paula Dean has a real Southern accent. Way too much on the "Y'all".
                       
                      #11
                        Sundancer7

                        Re:Things that you learn in the South: Thu, 07/28/11 6:23 PM (permalink)
                        100% of those things are true in the hills of East TN.  I sorta resemble some of those remarks myself.
                         
                        Paul E. Smith
                        Knoxville, TN
                         
                        #12
                          tiki

                          • Total Posts: 4135
                          • Joined: 7/7/2003
                          • Location: Rentiesville, OK
                          Re:Things that you learn in the South: Fri, 07/29/11 10:41 AM (permalink)
                          around here --Texas and Oklahoma--it pronoucned "fixintah"
                           
                          #13
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