2007 is starting out as an exceptionally promising year; I have acquired controlling interest in Ultimate Portable Smokers / Grill (UPS on the stock exchange and one of my first priorities was to open a UPS outlet in your city (probably as close as your local grocery store). Today, I am proud to say that these units are rolling off the lot as fast as our resource allocation personnel can acquire and deliver them.
As shown, every unit includes the polycarbonate heat-resistant handles and food divider, as well as the high-tech security device as standard accessories. Your unit will arrive pre-assembled and ready to roll - literally. Or, if you have a static design in mind, we will gladly ship our custom deck mounted unit at no additional charge. Either way, we will include the special warming rack and charcoal/wood/newspaper storage rack as shown in the picture; this is our way of saying 'thank you'.
Want it in time for the Super Bowl? No problem: Tell our friendly telephone representative that you want to put a bum's rush on your order; your Stainless Steel Ultimate Smoker & Grill will be sitting in your drive faster than a panhandler can smear your windshield with an greasy rag and you'll be the envy of all your friends.
Be prepared; they'll all ask where you got it and how can they get one, especially if they live south of the Mason-Dixon line. Go ahead; just picture your friends and family at the next tailgate party, green with envy, as you prepare a feast on the Stainless Steel Ultimate Grill & Smoker.
And, when your friends and family ask the inevitable question, "How could you afford such an extravagant product?", you just tell 'em, "Nothing's too good for my family." Make sure your wife overhears you when you say that, and be prepared for more later on....if ya know what I mean.
Can you get these anywhere else? Sure, there are other companies out there selling cheap knockoffs, but don't get fooled into buying one of their plastic imitations. Just think of that old inflatable 'Luscious Linda' doll you have stashed under the bed; is it really as good as the real thing? Of course not. That's why you want our product; there's no comparison.
UPS units are easily distinguishable from the cheaper plastic imitations, because ours are the only reusable units; one good fire and those cheap plastic units go up in a cloud of toxic, black smoke.
Be cool, don’t be a fool; order yours TODAY! $29.95.95 (which includes tax and delivery charges) will assure your delivery faster than Rush Limbaugh can say "Oxycontin". We accept cash, personal checks, food stamps, LINK cards and any foreign currency from an extraditable country.
But wait!! There's more. If you are among the first 357 people to order, we will include an automatic toaster stick (pictured), a complete set (1) of Ginzu cooking pans (pictured), and an additional environmentally friendly, all natural, toaster stick at no additional charge!!
But don't wait too long; due to increasing steal prices, we won't be able to maintain these insanely low prices much longer. Beat the price increase and get yours today.
Sorry Lake not included.
Sorry Bushes not included.
Sorry Wood not included
Sorry Toast not included
Sorry Eggs not included
Sorry Super Bowl Party not included
Fire included at no extra charge
