Understanding Engineers.
Tue, 05/22/07 7:24 AM
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Take One
Two engineering students were riding their bikes
across a university campus when one said, "Where did
you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking
along yesterday, minding my own business, when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the
ground, took off all her clothes and said,
"Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said,
"Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you
anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer,
the glass is twice as big as it needs to be!
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one
morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The
engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We
must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never
seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the
greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group
ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of
blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them
play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said,
"That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact
my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's
anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical
engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil
engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it
work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How
does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much
will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want
fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't
fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't
have enough features yet!
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog
called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the
frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me
and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay
with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled
at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me
back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week
and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've
told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay
with you for one week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't
have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now
that's cool!"
