What I got For Christmas

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FriedClamFanatic
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2013/01/02 17:02:59 (permalink)

What I got For Christmas

Folks have been asking me, and since you know I like to cook, thought you'd like to know............
 
 
1. I got a partridge........sans pear tree.......spent 2 hours chasing it around the house where it kept leaving extra "presents". Had to kill it and pluck it and it was greasy and tough.
 
 
 
2. Turtle doves were a bit more manageable but kinda skimpy on the meat
 
 
 
3. The 3 French hens came out perfect, thanks to an old Julia Child recipe........"First, you kill the hens"
 
 
 
4. The Calling Birds were a complete waste of time.....I threw them out and hoped the hawks liked them
 
 
 
5. Can you really bake English Muffins in these rings?????? Won't the gold melt?
 
 
 
6. Geese are nasty!!!!!! They fight back! but I got them under control and took most of them for turduken. The last 2 I"m turning into foie gras!
 
 
 
7. You think Geese are nasty???? Don't ever mess with these suckers!!!!!! They scored their freedom after the fourth assault!
 
 
 
8. I got more damn dairy products than I know what to do with! Not to mention 8 more mouths to feed.....although number3 is kinda cute and keeps giving me the eye.
 
 
 
9. After that, it all went downhill fast. More Freeloaders, Family, "Friends", Co-workers came by to party and eat all my food. They trashed my house and I'm up for a Court Appearance for violating the noise laws.
 
 
 
Next year, I"m going for PEACE on Earth......And Goodwill can take all my old clothes!
 
 
 
At least by New Years I get to drink someone else's Cheapo Chapagne......sheesh!
 
 
 
(And yes.I made this up on the fly.so feel free to share w/o worrying about a copyright suit.....Happy Holidays, everyone)
 
#1

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    chewingthefat
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    Re:What I got For Christmas 2013/01/02 17:28:17 (permalink)
    I got two front teeth, but that was many years ago!
    #2
    FriedClamFanatic
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    Re:What I got For Christmas 2013/01/02 18:24:15 (permalink)
    That's about all I got left
    #3
    mayor al
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    Re:What I got For Christmas 2013/01/03 11:35:55 (permalink)
    If Santa ran a little late for you this year, it is due to my wife's superior gunning skills. From the back deck, she nailed Rudolph and two of the second-string substitute reindeer sleigh pullers , a week or so before Christmas. I failed to get a photo record of the incident...but for one, it was 8 AM, temp 14 degrees, ice on the deck, She sat in an ice-covered chair in her housecoat and bunny slippers and nailed that deer at about 70 yards with her 44 magnum carbine.  Then she got dressed and did the field dressing and prepping for the freezer.
      This lady has pioneer skills I never knew she had !
    #4
    FriedClamFanatic
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    Re:What I got For Christmas 2013/01/03 11:45:41 (permalink)
    OMG.does she have an (umarried) Twin sister?
    #5
    tmiles
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    Re:What I got For Christmas 2013/01/03 12:10:11 (permalink)
    mayor al

    If Santa ran a little late for you this year, it is due to my wife's superior gunning skills. From the back deck, she nailed Rudolph and two of the second-string substitute reindeer sleigh pullers , a week or so before Christmas. I failed to get a photo record of the incident...but for one, it was 8 AM, temp 14 degrees, ice on the deck, She sat in an ice-covered chair in her housecoat and bunny slippers and nailed that deer at about 70 yards with her 44 magnum carbine.  Then she got dressed and did the field dressing and prepping for the freezer.
    This lady has pioneer skills I never knew she had !

    We can't shoot from the deck or the house (out the window) here in the Peoples Republic of Massachusetts, nor could we use a 44, but a friend got a very nice buck with an arrow and a compound bow, in the woods behind his house. It is a good bow area, because there are too many nearby homes (including mine!!!!). He got it from a stand, at dusk, at over 50 yds (he proudly measured it). The deer only went a few steps before he dropped. Thanks to cell phone pictures, he has eagerly shown it off to anyone he knows. Scuttlebut says we had a very good season here, and that the population is healthy. We may be a Peoples Republic, but we do know how to manage our deer population.
    #6
    ann peeples
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    Re:What I got For Christmas 2013/01/03 13:30:26 (permalink)
    What I got was a trip to Mobile.He said-go!
    #7
    mayor al
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    Re:What I got For Christmas 2013/01/03 14:05:20 (permalink)
    Annie, We are really looking forward to you going to Mobile with us. I talked to the owner, Bill, (The Brick Pit BBQ) and he promises to have space and more than the normal amount of 'BBQ' ready for the eager Glee Club members! he is a fine host and really nice guy. I know you are going to love this trip.
     
    Clam-guy, Sorry her parents broke the mold after Jan came along...she is one of a kind, that's for sure. She has really surprised herself (and me) with the discovery of her hunting and follow-up skills. She really enjoys the whole concept of providing the basic life-skills.  Not bad for a So-Cal beach-girl, I do say !!
    #8
    FriedClamFanatic
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    Re:What I got For Christmas 2013/01/03 14:15:34 (permalink)
    Let's see...........she hunts..very well!......AND Dresses the meat....sometimes cooks it.......all in a S0-cal Beach body............and she must be smart!.......So...if she stands to inherit a Million bucks and/or win the lottery, you married a Goddess, Al!  Be Respectful!.LOL
    #9
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