Working with the "other half"

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angielynnscott
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2005/05/27 10:42:47 (permalink)

Working with the "other half"

As you can see I am a new to the Forum. This is my problem. I work with my other half. I am a pretty even minded-unlike my counterpart. I am finding it difficult to work with him in any way because of the prima-donna chef attitude and temper. We work together alone in a Cafe in Kansas City and then go home together. I would like to know how to seperate what I go thru during the day and have a evening that is normal.

I know all of you know what I am talking about when I say the hot tempered prima-donna chef. I would like to hear from you so you can give me another side of this crazyness.
#1

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    mayor al
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/05/27 11:01:37 (permalink)
    Angie-
    Some of the best advice I ever received in my life was given by a friend many years ago when I had some conflict with my former spouse when we were working together in the same school (both teacher's). He told me " Never get your Honey where you get your Money !"
    At the time I really didn't think we had insurmountable problems...but they were ! Many years and one divorce later I will testify there is no way you can leave the work-problems at work, and the home-problems at home. They will cross the line both directions and will not get resolved in either place.
    #2
    royhaygood
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/05/27 11:49:39 (permalink)
    This is why The Mayor is The Mayor. Truer words were never spoken and the version I received a number of years ago (that resulted in a divorce as well) was 'Don't get your meat where you get your bread and butter'.
    #3
    2010Vision
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/05/27 12:28:12 (permalink)
    Angie,

    I think in your case, let your other half run the kitchen and you run the front. I know for a small Cafe it is difficult to divide the work up but if you have that rule it would be easier to tell your other half to "shut up" when it's not involving the kitchen.
    quote:
    Originally posted by angielynnscott

    As you can see I am a new to the Forum. This is my problem. I work with my other half. I am a pretty even minded-unlike my counterpart. I am finding it difficult to work with him in any way because of the prima-donna chef attitude and temper. We work together alone in a Cafe in Kansas City and then go home together. I would like to know how to seperate what I go thru during the day and have a evening that is normal.

    I know all of you know what I am talking about when I say the hot tempered prima-donna chef. I would like to hear from you so you can give me another side of this crazyness.
    #4
    Lindaagain
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/05/27 12:39:06 (permalink)
    I'd beg to differ................... as a young lady working on Wall Street I always made it a practice to carry on with my boss. My work load always became lighter and my 12hr./5day week soon became 6hr./4day................ and I always got great references when I tired of him and moved on to the next job and the next boss.
    Mr. Mayor I love your little ditty "Never get your Honey where you get your Money !"
    cute................ but that only works for guys. Linda
    #5
    mbrookes
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/05/27 13:07:54 (permalink)
    Originally posted by Lindaagain

    I'd beg to differ................... as a young lady working on Wall Street I always made it a practice to carry on with my boss. My work load always became lighter and my 12hr./5day week soon became 6hr./4day................ and I always got great references when I tired of him and moved on to the next job and the next boss.
    Mr. Mayor I love your little ditty "Never get your Honey where you get your Money !"
    cute................ but that only works for guys. Linda
    This kind of attitude makes it much harder for the rest of us to be accepted as serious competent professionals. I am not a "femi-nazi" but I do resent those who "carry on with the boss" in order to lighten their work load or get the plum assignments.
    #6
    harriet1954
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/05/27 17:32:52 (permalink)
    Please do not feed the fem-troll.
    #7
    Adjudicator
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/05/27 18:38:00 (permalink)
    quote:
    Originally posted by shaynas_mom

    Please do not feed the fem-troll.


    Amen. What a friggin' joke. Who is she trying to fool??????

    #8
    lleechef
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/05/27 21:13:06 (permalink)
    If you want to be successful in the restaurant biz there are some rules. Some abide by them, most do not. I am a strict adherent to the rules.

    1. Do not fraterinize with the employees. Never. Otherwise you become automatically one of "them", but you are in reality the boss. You don't have to be cocky or have an attitude, but the help has to know "who the boss is". And yes, you can be a friend to all.....just watch the "partying mode".

    2. DO NOT work with your husband/boyfriend/significant other, etc. This will lead to divorce/arguments/many headaches/etc. Who needs it?

    3. I think that Lindaagain is Monica Lewinsky in disguise.
    #9
    bassrocker4u2
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/05/28 06:50:28 (permalink)
    angie, you say you work together alone, no employees?
    thats the way we do it. my wife an i have worked together for three years now. no employees. 100 hour weeks. yea, its tough. you just got to remember that you love each other, and steal kisses throughout the day. if you have a common goal and a common route to get there, that helps. try talking to him over a stiff drink. we usually listen better after a couple belts. what works for us, is on our day off, i walk the golf course, giving her space. remember, the things you are feeling, he probably is feeling too. just talk it out. but i think the primadonna attitude has got to stop, period!
    good luck
    #10
    angielynnscott
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/05/31 10:51:01 (permalink)
    Thank you Bassrocker. This will help I'm sure.

    Now responding to the other comments..

    I am not screwing my boss. We are equal in status. Did I write I was? I guess I was not clear. Also we were already together before we worked together so I did not begin a relationship with any employee.

    2020vision-We work in a cafe' everything is open. no walls-just the four around us.

    Mayor-you said it right. If we do not work out together....NEVER AGAIN Too bad because we have a four year old daughter together
    #11
    UncleVic
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/05/31 12:21:25 (permalink)
    quote:
    Originally posted by angielynnscott

    As you can see I am a new to the Forum. This is my problem. I work with my other half. I am a pretty even minded-unlike my counterpart. I am finding it difficult to work with him in any way because of the prima-donna chef attitude and temper. We work together alone in a Cafe in Kansas City and then go home together. I would like to know how to seperate what I go thru during the day and have a evening that is normal.

    I know all of you know what I am talking about when I say the hot tempered prima-donna chef. I would like to hear from you so you can give me another side of this crazyness.


    They just had a story over the weekend in our local paper about "Husband and Wife" restaurant owners... Here's a link to the story:
    http://www.mlive.com/business/grpress/index.ssf?/base/business-2/111736185995280.xml
    #12
    angielynnscott
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/06/02 09:08:57 (permalink)
    Thank you...read it
    #13
    sho4go
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/06/02 09:38:29 (permalink)
    First, my wife and I have been working together in a small bakery restaurant in East Texas for 17 years and I can testify that it isn't always easy. We have more disputes and disagreements as business partners than we do as husband and wife. Having said that, for any who would want to try to pull off this challenging feat, I have some advice. The two of you need to sit down and make a list detailing what you recognize as the gifts of your partner. The two of you felt like each of you had something to contribute to this endeavor or you would not have entered into it. Be honest, and even somewhat generous in your evaluation of one another. If you want to be very thorough, add ratings on a 1-5 basis, 1 for not so hot, 5 for expert or extremely gifted. Critique your evaluations (do this in a non-hostile environment/moment). (Note: If this excercise breaks down into acrimony then one of you needs to bow out of the business and do what is neccessary to save your marriage.) Now then, most points of debate will fall into the realm of one of these areas. Here comes the hard part, you both have to agree to defer to your partners area of expertise or giftedness. Now, this will not solve all problems or eliminate all debates or arguments, but it will give you a foundation for problem resolution. Trust me, this will take work and you have to be commited to it if you want success.

    Bill in East Texas
    #14
    dreamzpainter
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/06/02 11:27:27 (permalink)
    quote:
    Originally posted by Lindaagain

    I'd beg to differ................... as a young lady working on Wall Street I always made it a practice to carry on with my boss. My work load always became lighter and my 12hr./5day week soon became 6hr./4day................ and I always got great references when I tired of him and moved on to the next job and the next boss.
    Mr. Mayor I love your little ditty "Never get your Honey where you get your Money !"
    cute................ but that only works for guys. Linda
    strangly enough I seem to have an opening in accounts receivable.......
    #15
    angielynnscott
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/06/03 08:55:26 (permalink)
    You're a dog[:D
    quote:
    Originally posted by dreamzpainter

    quote:
    Originally posted by Lindaagain

    I'd beg to differ................... as a young lady working on Wall Street I always made it a practice to carry on with my boss. My work load always became lighter and my 12hr./5day week soon became 6hr./4day................ and I always got great references when I tired of him and moved on to the next job and the next boss.
    Mr. Mayor I love your little ditty "Never get your Honey where you get your Money !"
    cute................ but that only works for guys. Linda
    strangly enough I seem to have an opening in accounts receivable.......
    #16
    The Travelin Man
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/06/03 09:01:40 (permalink)
    quote:
    Originally posted by dreamzpainter

    quote:
    Originally posted by Lindaagain

    I'd beg to differ................... as a young lady working on Wall Street I always made it a practice to carry on with my boss. My work load always became lighter and my 12hr./5day week soon became 6hr./4day................ and I always got great references when I tired of him and moved on to the next job and the next boss.
    Mr. Mayor I love your little ditty "Never get your Honey where you get your Money !"
    cute................ but that only works for guys. Linda
    strangly enough I seem to have an opening in accounts receivable.......


    Something tells me that she might, as well.
    #17
    angielynnscott
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    RE: Working with the "other half" 2005/06/03 10:44:21 (permalink)
    Well.....you both are dogs" />[:D[:I
    quote:
    Originally posted by stevekoe

    quote:
    Originally posted by dreamzpainter

    quote:
    Originally posted by Lindaagain

    I'd beg to differ................... as a young lady working on Wall Street I always made it a practice to carry on with my boss. My work load always became lighter and my 12hr./5day week soon became 6hr./4day................ and I always got great references when I tired of him and moved on to the next job and the next boss.
    Mr. Mayor I love your little ditty 'Never get your Honey where you get your Money !'
    cute................ but that only works for guys. Linda
    strangly enough I seem to have an opening in accounts receivable.......


    Something tells me that she might, as well.
    #18
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