farewell, goodbye, so long

When I first came to this site, I was intrigued by the name Roadfood. Over the years, I've come to realize that no one talks about roads on this site, only food.

Frankly, I've had it with you people and your mom and pop restaurants.

I'm gone and I'm never coming back.

quote:

Originally posted by saps


When I first came to this site, I was intrigued by the name Roadfood. Over the years, I've come to realize that no one talks about roads on this site, only food.

Frankly, I've had it with you people and your mom and pop restaurants.

I'm gone and I'm never coming back.

Hey, it is not our fault that 1-95 left! He was in charge of the roads.........

quote:

Originally posted by saps


When I first came to this site, I was intrigued by the name Roadfood. Over the years, I've come to realize that no one talks about roads on this site, only food.

Frankly, I've had it with you people and your mom and pop restaurants.

I'm gone and I'm never coming back.

Another McDonald's afficionado bites the dust.

Alright, I'm back.

Now I'm being mocked.

I'm leaving for good this time. I'm outta here. I'm tired of the sophomoric behavior and the constant hijacking of inane threads.

I hope you all burn to a golden crisp at 425 F.

quote:

Originally posted by saps


When I first came to this site, I was intrigued by the name Roadfood. Over the years, I've come to realize that no one talks about roads on this site, only food.

Frankly, I've had it with you people and your mom and pop restaurants.

I'm gone and I'm never coming back.

I thought it was about catching and cooking those critters sleeping alongside the road, wait a minute, WHAT, my wife just told me they're not sleeping.

John

quote:

Originally posted by saps

Alright, I'm back.

Now I'm being mocked.

I'm leaving for good this time. I'm outta here. I'm tired of the sophomoric behavior and the constant hijacking of inane threads.

I hope you all burn to a golden crisp at 425 F.

OUCH!

Too funny!

Hello All,
"You say, yes,
I say, no,
You say, why,
I say, I don't know...
You say good-bye,
But I say, hello...hello, hello".....Beatles
Take Care,
Fieldthistle

Hey saps, when will you be announcing your 3,000th fart?

quote:

Originally posted by saps


When I first came to this site, I was intrigued by the name Roadfood. Over the years, I've come to realize that no one talks about roads on this site, only food.

Frankly, I've had it with you people and your mom and pop restaurants.

I'm gone and I'm never coming back.

Yee of little mind..... there is no known way of cooking and eating a road. If there was, I would know. I eat everything!

quote:

Originally posted by stevekoe

Hey saps, when will you be announcing your 3,000th fart?

Don't ever ask me to do that. You'll be getting a new daily announcement thread.

Alright. I'm back.

A Stevekoe from Melbourne, Florida writes the following:

quote:

Originally posted by stevekoe

Hey saps, when will you be announcing your 3,000th fart?

That's a great question Stevekoe. And trust me, I won't have to announce it; you and many others will know, even all the way out in your hometown of Melbourne, Australia, right near Florida. Put another otter on the barbie for me! Many people have been asking about my 3000th fart. And let me just say that it will be soon. I'm saving up.

This morning, 45 Double cheese white castles and 63 hard-boiled eggs (I watched Cool Hand Luke to get ready. I don't want to spoil it, but Luke dies at the end. You may want to hurry to your local theater and see this one before it gets to Beta.), followed by an onion loaf the size of a banyan tree and sixteen bags of hot chocolate mix without milk or water, and a vodka enema- shaken, not stirred. Because once it's in, it's a helluva lot easier to shake than stir. Trust me on this one. Sometimes, the shaking is just plain involuntary. Go figure.

Wow, I feel dizzy. Hey, if you're blind in one eye and driving drunk, which eye should you cover?

You people are sick jerks. Grow up. I'm leaving this site again. I won't be back. If history is any measure, you can count on it. I'm done with you losers.

you pays you money and you takes you chances...

Phew! Maybe he means it this time.

Your damn right I do.

This is one of the funniest threads I've seen in a long time.

Thanks, saps!

Saps this is

quote:

Originally posted by saps

Alright. I'm back.

A Stevekoe from Melbourne, Florida writes the following:

quote:

Originally posted by stevekoe

Hey saps, when will you be announcing your 3,000th fart?

That's a great question Stevekoe. And trust me, I won't have to announce it; you and many others will know, even all the way out in your hometown of Melbourne, Australia, right near Florida. Put another otter on the barbie for me! Many people have been asking about my 3000th fart. And let me just say that it will be soon. I'm saving up.

This morning, 45 Double cheese white castles and 63 hard-boiled eggs (I watched Cool Hand Luke to get ready. I don't want to spoil it, but Luke dies at the end. You may want to hurry to your local theater and see this one before it gets to Beta.), followed by an onion loaf the size of a banyan tree and sixteen bags of hot chocolate mix without milk or water, and a vodka enema- shaken, not stirred. Because once it's in, it's a helluva lot easier to shake than stir. Trust me on this one. Sometimes, the shaking is just plain involuntary. Go figure.

Wow, I feel dizzy. Hey, if you're blind in one eye and driving drunk, which eye should you cover?

You people are sick jerks. Grow up. I'm leaving this site again. I won't be back. If history is any measure, you can count on it. I'm done with you losers.

Add some chili with beans to your diet to speed up those farts! And don't come back until you reach your goal.

That ol Sapsy boy was a natural born world shaker.

Vayo con Queso

Alright, I'm back.

I'd just like everyone to know why I'm leaving. Just look at the post below:

quote:

Originally posted by Bushie

This is one of the funniest threads I've seen in a long time.

Thanks, saps!

Could that be anymore sarcastic and rude? Note that the poster (Bushie, if that's his real name) uses the word "seen" but then has a smily that resembles Ray Charles with liver failure. Note that Ray Charles was blind (I suppose technically he still is). So he's saying (in your Roadfood Insider code that I'm not privy to) that this really isn't one of the funnier threads.

Now, back to the farts. A few problems here. My statistician and good friend Ed Begley III (a dead ringer for his dad except that the lisp is on the other side and he's 2 feet shorter than the old man)has screwed up the counting and we are only at 2997. This is a problem since I am loaded with 35 pounds of compacted foodstuffs, water-based gels, some quarters I swallowed as a kid, and booze. I can't fart 3 times without the Titanic hitting an iceberg, as my colon is pretty low right know.

I had guessed that my 3000th fart would have some entertainment value. I only invited Peter O'Toole (The 84 year-old Irish porn star, not the actor) and a local actor/singer/dancer/poet/marksman named G. Gordon Lightfoot, whose act consists of singing Gordon Lightfoot songs while heavily armed in full body armor, snapping the necks or cutting the hamstrings of unsuspecting fans who wander too close to him. It's fun, but the shows usually last less than 3 minutes, and nobody will insure him.

Part of the problem with this site is that too many of you don't post enough about food as I do and post stupid useless crap instead. The internet is not a toy.

Oh crap. 2998 just went off. I need to call a helicopter.

I'll miss all of you. Stevekoe, Bushie. My goal was to hit 3000 farts before Roosy got her 10,000th post. It's gonna be close.

Goodbye forever.

Charley Weaver(Boy, did I just date myself!) used to do a bit about letters from home. One that I remember was from his mother. Something like "Your father and I ate up the road last night. You know how he loves asphalt."
Sometimes I long for the days of good old corny humor with no four letter words. (Just dated myself again)

So are you saying SAPS looks like Charlie Weaver ? Or Rosanna Arquette.
And speaking of jerks,
what was up with David Foster on American Idol there a few weeks ago? Mean? Jeez!Toto, bite that boy.
Anyway, I'd always imagined SAPS to be more in the Paul Lynde Mode. Or maybe Charles Nelson Reilly.
Though he'd like to be Bert Convy...

quote:

Originally posted by saps

Alright, I'm back.

I'd just like everyone to know why I'm leaving. Just look at the post below:

quote:

Originally posted by Bushie

This is one of the funniest threads I've seen in a long time.

Thanks, saps!

Could that be anymore sarcastic and rude? Note that the poster (Bushie, if that's his real name) uses the word "seen" but then has a smily that resembles Ray Charles with liver failure. Note that Ray Charles was blind (I suppose technically he still is). So he's saying (in your Roadfood Insider code that I'm not privy to) that this really isn't one of the funnier threads.

Now, back to the farts. A few problems here. My statistician and good friend Ed Begley III (a dead ringer for his dad except that the lisp is on the other side and he's 2 feet shorter than the old man)has screwed up the counting and we are only at 2997. This is a problem since I am loaded with 35 pounds of compacted foodstuffs, water-based gels, some quarters I swallowed as a kid, and booze. I can't fart 3 times without the Titanic hitting an iceberg, as my colon is pretty low right know.

I had guessed that my 3000th fart would have some entertainment value. I only invited Peter O'Toole (The 84 year-old Irish porn star, not the actor) and a local actor/singer/dancer/poet/marksman named G. Gordon Lightfoot, whose act consists of singing Gordon Lightfoot songs while heavily armed in full body armor, snapping the necks or cutting the hamstrings of unsuspecting fans who wander too close to him. It's fun, but the shows usually last less than 3 minutes, and nobody will insure him.

Part of the problem with this site is that too many of you don't post enough about food as I do and post stupid useless crap instead. The internet is not a toy.

Oh crap. 2998 just went off. I need to call a helicopter.

I'll miss all of you. Stevekoe, Bushie. My goal was to hit 3000 farts before Roosy got her 10,000th post. It's gonna be close.

Goodbye forever.

My money is on Roosy

Thats a sure bet
Take it to Vegas!
Pathetic ol lady here.. weep weep, ""tears rolling down her face""
Oops, scuze me, now I gotta fart!

This is disgusting, all this talk about farts. I've never seen such puerile online behavior.

Who wants to pull my finger?

Saps, I thought you'd been gone for years. Welcome back. By the way, are you the one posting on Roadkill about how to tenderize opposums?

Heh heh heh....you all said fart.....

I really visualize myself in the role that my name sakeROGER BOWEN did as Col. Henry Blake in the original M*A*S*H Movie. Keep that image in mind that as you play your game.
I will relocate this to the Misc Off Topic forum to make it at least semi-legitimate.
AL

Oh gawd!!! Egg farts!!!

Alright, I'm back. I have to come clean. But before I do that, I'll tell you the truth.

I wasn't really leaving.
I'm not really working on the 3000th fart (Im working on number 9000)
There's no porn star named Peter O' Toole. Nor is their Colin Filth, Donnie Moist,or George Pooney.
Enemas are nasty and are best administered by trained (golf) professionals.
G. Gordon Lighfoot is real and he'll be coming to a town near you.
Poker is not a sport.