just for laughs-taster at chili cook-off

This has been around for ages, and I never fail to laugh so hard, I cry.. Just thought I'd share it again, since I came across it by accident..
For all you wanna be chili cook off tasters!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/25206.html

I know, I know everyone's read it....

I find it hard to believe there was a chili contest in Texas, and entries had beans in it.

Now, before we go down that road, I want to make it clear, that I find it perfectly acceptable to have beans in chili.

With that said, knowing what I know about chili contests, I find it hard to believe that a Texas judge would say, "needs more beans." And a black bean chili entry?

Lastly, the whole introduction that basically says "this is funny," ruins the whole thing.

?Could you imagine if a comedian came out and said, "hey, if you can listen to my whole set without tears of laughter running down your cheeks, then there's no hope for you!"

my vote: NOT funny. Could have been funny. But wasn't.

I've seen this a number of times before, and I STILL think it's funny as h*ll. Thanks, roossy.

I, too, think it's funny.

**in the spirit of the season and with sensitivity to the "Maestro's" feelings I've removed the rest of this post. pb

PB,
in the interest of keeping this site from degrading into personal attacks, I'm not going to retort with a lowly personal snide remark against you.

No need for that.

Feel free to rip on the content of any of my posts, but don't start slinging mud at me personally. There's a difference.

And let me reiterate.
It wasn't Roossy90 that I didn't find funny, it was the CONTENT on the link. And mostly, because, I thought the set up, which basically said, "this is funny and if you don't find it funny there's something wrong with you" ruined it for me. I said nothing of the premise.

I made a statement that those types of intros don't really work for me. I have plenty of experience in the entertainment business, so I likened it to that. Which incidentally, is just plain good reasoning.

If you don't like my reasoning. Then say, "hey, I like when someone tells me that what they are about to say is funny." and then state why. And then you've justly opposed my viewpoint. Without degrading to a personal attack. Which is usually just a last resort tactic used when someone knows they are either wrong, have nothing to say, or cannot adequately defend their position.

This is the 2nd time, pb, that you felt the need to "protect" someone, who most likely doesn't need your help, and of whom I never made a negative comment.

I have made SEVERAL eatery suggestions that have been warmly appreciated on this site. I will continue to do so, and I will continue to say something is less than ok, if that's my thought.
And unless the moderator(s) kick me off, I will continue to do so.

If I give out information that anyone thinks isn't accurate or disagrees with, I hope, and trust, that they will state their viewpoint. Indeed, I might actually believe that person or even come to agree with him/her, as long as that person doesn't resort to singling me out and making a personal negative comment about me.

i thought that is was funny

I had not seen this before, but enjoyed it and had a good laugh. Thanks Roossy.

Scorereader, I'm with you. Not funny. I hate "jokes" that play on obvious stereotypes.
Must be all the yellow brick road, Dorothy, and farmer jokes that one endures if they're a Kansas native(me). Boring.

quote:

Originally posted by Bushie

I've seen this a number of times before, and I STILL think it's funny as h*ll. Thanks, roossy.

You are so welcome.. I am still laughing.. I about died the first time I read it....
Always good when ya havent seen it in awhile....
Tara

Some things are just funny, and people need to lighten up....
Smile...

Henny Youngman or Gilbert Gottfried, Sam Kinnison or Jack Benny, humor comes in many forms and what makes one person snicker might not touch anothers funnybone. As for me? I find this thread funny

quote:

Originally posted by porkbeaks

I, too, think it's funny. A developing rule of thumb on this site is, "if Scorereader doesn't like it, then it's probably good". pb

You seem to have a desperate a need to attack someone -- anyone. That's fine when you want to attack me, as seems to be a hobby at which you keep unsuccessfully trying to become competent. But, while I disagree with Scorereader about a lot of things, your attack on him was little more than a poorly-executed cheap shot. Perhaps you need to have the oil changed in your beak.

A LOT of things?

I thought...it was just the...uh...Waffle House...

oh well.

thanks for the support though. I noticed pb trying to jabber at you too. You were more succesful with retorts than I.

You rock Michael.

Oh, yeah -- lots. Mostly Waffle House, though.

I thought it was fuunny the first time I saw it several years ago, and I still do.
I didn't notice any sterotypes.
Top

I saw the chili cook-off thing a long time ago without the lame introduction. I found it funny the first time but Scorereader has a huge point about introducing something as "funny." The introduction kills it.

As far as hostility between posters, is not the Weehawken Plain still available?

Oops, I reckon not, I forgot to take off my 19th century hat and forgot that this is not done in the 21st century. I guess the only option left is to try to be polite and get along, something this site is famous for and that I am thankful for.

It amazes me that folks get upset over minor trivia. Doncha think life is a little short to get so short fused?

Things do not have to be factual to be funny. As a matter of fact, most are not factual.

I tried to put myself it the third judges place. I admit it was extreme but the situation reminds me of stuff that I listen to on XM comedy.

I thought it was very funny.

Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN

quote:

Originally posted by Greyghost

As far as hostility between posters, is not the Weehawken Plain still available?

My, that would make life much simpler. And far more polite....
Top

quote:

Originally posted by Greyghost

I saw the chili cook-off thing a long time ago without the lame introduction. I found it funny the first time but Scorereader has a huge point about introducing something as "funny." The introduction kills it.

As far as hostility between posters, is not the Weehawken Plain still available?

Oops, I reckon not, I forgot to take off my 19th century hat and forgot that this is not done in the 21st century. I guess the only option left is to try to be polite and get along, something this site is famous for and that I am thankful for.

The Weehawken Plain? Burr-Hamilton?

now THAT'S funny.

and he didn't have to tell us that it was going to be funny.

quote:

Originally posted by Sundancer7

It amazes me that folks get upset over minor trivia. Doncha think life is a little short to get so short fused?

Things do not have to be factual to be funny. As a matter of fact, most are not factual.

I tried to put myself it the third judges place. I admit it was extreme but the situation reminds me of stuff that I listen to on XM comedy.

I thought it was very funny.

Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN

Thank you very much Paul!
(anyone who didnt realize it was fictional, must eat more chili!)
Tara

Yes, it's OBVIOUSLY a non-fiction story, meant to be funny.
But I disagree that most things that are funny are fiction. Fiction can certainly be funny, but it's not exclusive. The truely funniest things in life, is the real stuff. The gaffe, the errors, the misteps, the ironic, the odd, the spectacular, etc, etc.

I have an idea, tell some friends that joke, aloud. And see if it really keeps their interest. Be sure to prep it with "If you can [listen to] this whole story without tears of laughter running down your cheeks, then there's no hope for you!" Also, be sure to add this: "For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is." Even though the story, as pointed out, isn't true at all.

In my experience, one would likely find the audience to not be very receptive.

I'd like to be clear about one thing too, I have never said that the poster (Roossy90) was not funny. I said the story on the link was not funny. I still think the story on the link is not funny. Even after re-reading it "trying to put myself in that position," I did not find it funny. It's not a lack of sense of humor, the writing was bad. The joke went on too long. The east coaster's first reactions were so large to the heat that it had no where to crescendo to. He was already in a world of hurt from the get go. Why would someone continue if they practically needed the heimlick manuevre after only the second tasting. Perhaps a less explosive response to chili #1 and a better, more worrisome build would've made it funnier.


I didn't like the fact that the East coaster's first written words were "Holy $h17." To make an unbelievable story believable, the actions of the characters needs to be credible thus keeping the fiction story rooted in non-fiction. A more subtle reaction to chili #1 would've been better like "Wow, you Texans sure like your pepper. A nice hot chili to start off the day. I'm sure glad my beer was close by."
This way, he's saying it's hot, when the Texas judges are calling it mild. Then he can move more slowly to passing out/keeling over, or what ever.

It's not very clever writing. I get writing samples all the time. This wasn't a good example of good writing. And the poorly crafted story combined with an obvious "in Texas we know what hot is and those Easterners do not" stereo type, just didn't work well together.

"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem. They're there every night, they see it done every night, they see how it should be done every night, but they can't do it for themselves." ~ Brendan Behan

quote:

Originally posted by porkbeaks

"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem. They're there every night, they see it done every night, they see how it should be done every night, but they can't do it for themselves." ~ Brendan Behan

"On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure. "
Oscar Wilde
(I can quote others too)

You're more than welcome to come to DC for a performance by my company.
This past summer we were selected to perform choregraphic works from our original production at the Goose Route Dance Festival in Shephardstown, WV.
We are performing in January at Theatre J in Washington, DC and again for another showcase of companies from around the country at Old Dominion University, where we will also be offering a Master Class with our choreographer.

In May we open our 2nd completely ORIGINAL production at the Jack Guidone Theatre in Washington, DC.

I encourage your attendence at any of our upcoming productions.

quote:

Originally posted by porkbeaks

"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem. They're there every night, they see it done every night, they see how it should be done every night, but they can't do it for themselves." ~ Brendan Behan

oh, and by the way. Way to use your own words to decribe your thoughts.

Word fight... LOL...
Thanks for all the input anyway....
As they say, everyone is entitled to their own opinion...
Now lets put the gloves away.. this is getting burned out...

quote:

Originally posted by roossy90

Word fight... LOL...
Thanks for all the input anyway....
As they say, everyone is entitled to their own opinion...
Now lets put the gloves away.. this is getting burned out...

completely agree.
Why pb made a personal remark towards me is unknown?
I said it wasn't funny, and he felt the need to take a cheap shot at me.
Then he tries to call me a critic that doesn't "do" anything while hiding behind another person's words, while the fact is, I put artisitc work out in the public ALL the time. And not just turning out performances of work that has already been written, but brand new work.

If we're entitled to our opinion, then we should be able to state our opinion without someone making cheap shots.

I understand the need in the Forums to stop the word wars, especially after the "children behaving badly" thread. But I'm not going to stand idly by when pb takes a cheap shot at me, or tries to back hand it by sending us quotes from others.

I thought the article was funny.

What I find disturbing is the ensuing thread. Is there that much tension on a fun forum site? Can people have differing opinions and not be at each others throats.

On another blog site I frequent, the rule is to be friendly at all times. Those that aren't have their entries deleted and, if they persist, are thrown off the site. Makes for a friendly site.

quote:

Originally posted by porkbeaks

I, too, think it's funny.

**in the spirit of the season and with sensitivity to the "Maestro's" feelings I've removed the rest of this post. pb

thank you.

quote:

Originally posted by tsores

I thought the article was funny.

What I find disturbing is the ensuing thread. Is there that much tension on a fun forum site? Can people have differing opinions and not be at each others throats.

On another blog site I frequent, the rule is to be friendly at all times. Those that aren't have their entries deleted and, if they persist, are thrown off the site. Makes for a friendly site.

AMEN!, now pass the chili!

quote:

Originally posted by Scorereader

quote:

Originally posted by roossy90

Word fight... LOL...
Thanks for all the input anyway....
As they say, everyone is entitled to their own opinion...
Now lets put the gloves away.. this is getting burned out...

completely agree.
Why pb made a personal remark towards me is unknown?
I said it wasn't funny, and he felt the need to take a cheap shot at me.
Then he tries to call me a critic that doesn't "do" anything while hiding behind another person's words, while the fact is, I put artisitc work out in the public ALL the time. And not just turning out performances of work that has already been written, but brand new work.

If we're entitled to our opinion, then we should be able to state our opinion without someone making cheap shots.

I understand the need in the Forums to stop the word wars, especially after the "children behaving badly" thread. But I'm not going to stand idly by when pb takes a cheap shot at me, or tries to back hand it by sending us quotes from others.

And I dont blame you one bit!
There is no need for that kind of talk to one another...
Makes me sorry I ever posted it.. And if it is removed, I think we would all feel better.....[|)]

A man walks into a quaint and friendly diner and orders a bowl of chili. The waitress tells him that the other man two stools down ordered the last one. He notices the other man eating a sandwich and chips and ignoring the full bowl of chili on his left, so he leans towards the other man and asks "may I have your bowl of chili?" The other man shrugs sure. The man starts eating until he comes to the bottom of the bowl and see's a dead mouse. He vomits into the bowl, the other man leans over and says - yup, I did the same thing.

quote:

Originally posted by Scorereader

A man walks into a quaint and friendly diner and orders a bowl of chili. The waitress tells him that the other man two stools down ordered the last one. He notices the other man has a full bowl, so he leans towards the other man and asks "may I have your bowl of chili?" The other man shrugs sure. The man starts eating until he comes to the bottom of the bowl and see's a dead mouse. He vomits into the bowl, the other man leans over and says - yup, I did the same thing.

very funny but

quote:

Originally posted by Scorereader

A man walks into a quaint and friendly diner and orders a bowl of chili. The waitress tells him that the other man two stools down ordered the last one. He notices the other man has a full bowl, so he leans towards the other man and asks "may I have your bowl of chili?" The other man shrugs sure. The man starts eating until he comes to the bottom of the bowl and see's a dead mouse. He vomits into the bowl, the other man leans over and says - yup, I did the same thing.

Classless, tasteless, sophomoric, and NOT funny. pb

quote:

Originally posted by porkbeaks

quote:

Originally posted by Scorereader

A man walks into a quaint and friendly diner and orders a bowl of chili. The waitress tells him that the other man two stools down ordered the last one. He notices the other man has a full bowl, so he leans towards the other man and asks "may I have your bowl of chili?" The other man shrugs sure. The man starts eating until he comes to the bottom of the bowl and see's a dead mouse. He vomits into the bowl, the other man leans over and says - yup, I did the same thing.

Classless, tasteless, sophomoric, and NOT funny. pb

Don't be such a baby.

quote:

Originally posted by porkbeaks

quote:

Originally posted by Scorereader

A man walks into a quaint and friendly diner and orders a bowl of chili. The waitress tells him that the other man two stools down ordered the last one. He notices the other man has a full bowl, so he leans towards the other man and asks "may I have your bowl of chili?" The other man shrugs sure. The man starts eating until he comes to the bottom of the bowl and see's a dead mouse. He vomits into the bowl, the other man leans over and says - yup, I did the same thing.

Classless, tasteless, sophomoric, and NOT funny. pb

A developing rule of thumb on this site is, "if porkbeaks doesn't like it, then it's probably good". sr

quote:

Originally posted by Scorereader

quote:

Originally posted by porkbeaks

quote:

Originally posted by Scorereader

A man walks into a quaint and friendly diner and orders a bowl of chili. The waitress tells him that the other man two stools down ordered the last one. He notices the other man has a full bowl, so he leans towards the other man and asks "may I have your bowl of chili?" The other man shrugs sure. The man starts eating until he comes to the bottom of the bowl and see's a dead mouse. He vomits into the bowl, the other man leans over and says - yup, I did the same thing.

Classless, tasteless, sophomoric, and NOT funny. pb

A developing rule of thumb on this site is, "if porkbeaks doesn't like it, then it's probably good". sr

Let me see if I have this right. What I should do now is whine about how I am being needlessly attacked and ask the moderator to remove a post or two, then I should go into excruciating detail with all the reasons why I didn't think your "joke" was funny and then, finally, I should go into all of my qualifications (even more excruciating) telling everyone why I am so qualified to render these opinions.

Homey don't play dat. How 'bout I just tell you to "kiss my ass". pb

quote:

Originally posted by porkbeaks

quote:

Originally posted by Scorereader

quote:

Originally posted by porkbeaks

quote:

Originally posted by Scorereader

A man walks into a quaint and friendly diner and orders a bowl of chili. The waitress tells him that the other man two stools down ordered the last one. He notices the other man has a full bowl, so he leans towards the other man and asks "may I have your bowl of chili?" The other man shrugs sure. The man starts eating until he comes to the bottom of the bowl and see's a dead mouse. He vomits into the bowl, the other man leans over and says - yup, I did the same thing.

Classless, tasteless, sophomoric, and NOT funny. pb

A developing rule of thumb on this site is, "if porkbeaks doesn't like it, then it's probably good". sr

Let me see if I have this right. What I should do now is whine about how I am being needlessly attacked and ask the moderator to remove a post or two, then I should go into excruciating detail with all the reasons why I didn't think your "joke" was funny and then, finally, I should go into all of my qualifications (even more excruciating) telling everyone why I am so qualified to render these opinions.

Homey don't play dat. How 'bout I just tell you to "kiss my ass". pb

had you left off the last line, I would've thought you were kidding, as I was.

But apparently, your still as much a punk as ever.

Yo Mama so fat that they said it was chili outside then she brought out a bowl!

now THIS is classless, tasteless and sophomoric:

http://www.freefunpages.com/1/chilidance.htm

This topic got nasty and I locked it.

Paul E Smith
Knoxville, TN