Cathy, I share your problem, not only with peppers, but also with onions.
I am considered the "picky" eater in the family, a title which I hate.
Often on my plate you can see where I have spooned off to a side the
peppers or onions, and you can see how I have had to disembowel the
food I so wanted to just eat. But that is my life.
I have learnt to cook at home, without using those items or to...
1. chop them up in the tiniest pieces or use a blender to them and
add them in small, small portions.
2. sometimes frozen onions and peppers lose some of their poison, but
again, I slice and dice and use small portions.
Eating in a public establishment, well, I do my spooning as much as possible,
or just order a more bland food.
I have found that I am able to tolerate it more if I am less anxious about it,
and have tried to build up a tolerance, slowly, to it.
But fresh peppers and onions are a no-no. Many places use canned items which are
not as bad.
Hope this has helped.