Mayhaw Man!

Post
Lone Star
Double Chili Cheeseburger
2003/10/02 23:28:20
We want our turkey bedtime story!
lleechef
Sirloin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 02:20:32
YEAH!!!! Where's the turkey story? I can't sleep!" />" />" />
Mayhaw Man
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 09:14:46
Mayhaw Man has spent the last two days editing to protect the guilty, the dead, and the infirm. Also editing all references to Mrs. Mayhaw out of the story,as there is a certain amount of shame in being married to me when it involves stories like this. I will post it on this thread tonight, but I am warning you , it is long and rambling and reads alot like fiction, but the events contained in the story pretty much happened the way it is written, and the end of the story contains my method for turkey frying (which, as you will see, has improved greatly from my first, soon to be famous on a limited basis, attempt)
tiki
Filet Mignon
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 10:49:39
quote:
Originally posted by Mayhaw Man

but I am warning you , it is long and rambling and reads alot like fiction, but the events contained in the story pretty much happened the way it is written, and the end of the story contains my method for turkey frying (which, as you will see, has improved greatly from my first, soon to be famous on a limited basis, attempt)


Everything in my life seems to be long and rambling and MUCH like fiction anyway and your already famous around this house! I eagerly await your "Tales of the Turkey"!.............(no insult intended!)
lleechef
Sirloin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 11:34:05
Mayhaw, I can't wait!! Come on, give up that story!!
scbuzz
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 11:39:59
Will it be a tale of lust for power, international intrigue and a quest for world domination ???

*sits on edge of chair*


Turkey's are like that I hear
lleechef
Sirloin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 12:33:45
Mayhaw, forget about the guilty, the dead and the infirm. I WANT MY MAYPO....NO! TURKEY STORY NOW!!!
Mayhaw Man
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 15:54:10
out for editing
Mayhaw Man
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 16:12:45
There was a problem in the translation from word to this format.

Where is says lucky shirt, it should be in floral script and all letters should be large and capitalized and the r should be in lower case and very small.........you figure it out
lleechef
Sirloin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 16:33:38
Mayhaw, that was certainly worth waiting for, I laughed so hard I have tears in my eyes. You're quite the storyteller and I'm looking forward to Part Two! Were you drinking a Turbo Dog whilst writing this???
KimChee43
Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 16:56:09
MAYHAW MAN: Loved Part One. Can't wait to read Part Two. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story with us.
Mayhaw Man
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 17:10:28
quote:
Originally posted by lleechef

Mayhaw, that was certainly worth waiting for, I laughed so hard I have tears in my eyes. You're quite the storyteller and I'm looking forward to Part Two! Were you drinking a Turbo Dog whilst writing this???


This pre dated Turbodog by about 6 or 7 years. I should know, it was my recipe (at least adapted by myself and the owner of Abita from a recipe of Peter Eggleston of New Hampshire). I was the vp/brewmaster at The Abita Brewing Co. (LLC) from 87-97. I am legally prohibited from saying anything else about Abita thanks to an agreement and thanks to good sense on my part.
Sundancer7
Fire Safety Admin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 17:17:43
Mayhaw Man. Great write and and a easy read. I sort of felt like I was there. I felt for the turkey and I was really hoping he would settle down and do the poo thing.

That was fun

Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN
Pwingsx
Double Chili Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 19:01:18
I gobbled down your story. Looking forward to part 2.

'Nuff said.
lleechef
Sirloin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 19:03:46
WOW. A man that tells a hilarious true story, fries turkeys and was the vp/brewmaster for Abita Brewing Co???? Are you for real? If so, I'm in love.
EliseT
Filet Mignon
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 19:10:06
You are quite the raconteur! I was a little worried when you said the **** hit the fan, because my brother recently had an incident involving a parrot and a ceiling exhaust fan, with the result being green and red feathers flying all over the warehouse.
Lone Star
Double Chili Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 22:34:04
Oh Mayhaw! Too funny! If I'd a known all that was going on back in the 80's, I would have been there and bet on #5.

Only in Louisiana I swan.

Now, how can you be embarrased, we can't even see you!

Your story was like one of those Saturday afternoon cliffhangers and we will all have to wait to see what fate awaits Tom.

Thank you for your story.

Signed, the Lone Star, who is sorry she did not get to bet.
ocdreamr
Double Chili Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 23:06:46
Printed out & read part one, (eyes to old to read that much on screen) now eagerly awaiting part two.
Mayhaw Man
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/03 23:22:31
quote:
Originally posted by Lone Star

Oh Mayhaw! Too funny! If I'd a known all that was going on back in the 80's, I would have been there and bet on #5.

Only in Louisiana I swan.

Now, how can you be embarrased, we can't even see you!

Your story was like one of those Saturday afternoon cliffhangers and we will all have to wait to see what fate awaits Tom.

Thank you for your story.

Signed, the Lone Star, who is sorry she did not get to bet.


I will try to post it in the morning. Not quite done. Tommorrow sometime for sure. Two soccer games and elections. Kinda busy.

But don't be on pins and needles. Tom does not go on to a long career on Saturday Serials" />
lleechef
Sirloin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/05 22:32:38
Mayhaw, we are anxious to hear about the not so edible Tom and the one you cooked to perfection!! Puhleeese..........the rest of the amusing story!
KimChee43
Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/06 08:41:25
quote:
Originally posted by lleechef

Mayhaw, we are anxious to hear about the not so edible Tom and the one you cooked to perfection!! Puhleeese..........the rest of the amusing story!


I'm with LLEECHEF on this one! Can't wait to read Part Two.
i95
Double Chili Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/06 09:17:33
Unlike the other would-be raconteurs reading this thread, I found your tale downright fowl.
Bushie
Filet Mignon
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/06 09:35:24
Great story, Mr. Man!! You really made it come alive! Still laughing and awaiting Part 2...
Mayhaw Man
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/06 10:57:33
quote:
Originally posted by i95

Unlike the other would-be raconteurs reading this thread, I found your tale downright fowl.



You must be a turkey.

I will finish up when I get home tonight. I was busy having a life outside of Roadfood this weekend. (it is possible, you know)


i95
Double Chili Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/06 15:41:13
Mayhaw Man:

I prefer the honored nomenclature of Meleagris gallopavo but yes, indeed, I stand before you a turkey. Gobble, gobble.
scbuzz
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/06 15:44:46
Grand Story .....


I await with garlicky breath, Part Deux !!!!


lleechef
Sirloin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/07 05:27:05
I am awaiting with Fried Turkey Breath for Part Deux!!!!" />
Pwingsx
Double Chili Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/08 11:50:08
Bump.

Where are you, Mayhaw Man?
lleechef
Sirloin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/08 11:55:19
OH NO! Maybe the turkey kidnapped him!!" />" />
Mayhaw Man
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/08 12:26:14
No, an evil newspaper deadline kidnapped him. He has now been released and, after a delicious lunch of leftover shrimp cakes, bbq'd redfish, pecan/hazelnut risotto and some vietnamese style iced coffee, he should be refreshed enough to finish his delightful little tale of turkey torture, gluttony, and regret.

I will finish today.

Thanks,

Brooks
Lone Star
Double Chili Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/08 12:51:01
Those darn deadlines . They sure do interfere with the important things in life.
lleechef
Sirloin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/08 12:52:19
WHEW! I was scared there for awhile! Glad to know that you were not absconded by some defunct revengeful fowl!
Mayhaw Man
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/08 18:21:27
out for some serious editing.
Ort. Carlton.
Filet Mignon
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/08 22:46:03
Mayhaw Man; All Y'all,
It has been worth every minute of the time I've spent here up to now to get to read this saga. M. M., if you could pad it a whet more, you might could sell it as a short story. After all, Howard Waldrop did just that with his R. A. Lafferty-esque shaggy dog tale entitled "The Ugly Chickens."
Laughing Deeply Inside (But Right Now I'd Rather Be Drinking A Dixie Blackened Voodoo On Draught At The House Of Blues On Decatur Street In New Orleans), Ort. Carlton in 531-Mile-Removed Athens, Georgia.
lleechef
Sirloin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/09 11:41:35
It was worth the wait............what a great story. And yes, if you've never been to NO in the summer, you have no idea how brutal it can be. I can just imagine.........the turkey, the oil, the heat, the uncooked turkey. What a hoot!
scbuzz
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/09 13:33:22
I agree ! Great story .... great fun to read !!
Pwingsx
Double Chili Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/09 14:04:08
Great story! I'm really glad no one was burned -- that part was SCARY.

I guess I mean severely burned.
Mayhaw Man
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/09 14:19:11
quote:
Originally posted by Pwingsx

Great story! I'm really glad no one was burned -- that part was SCARY.

I guess I mean severely burned.


You are correct in your assumption that there was no external scarring, although I have not fried barefoot since. So I learned a valuable lesson.

The internal scarring, however, is something I carry to this day
Lone Star
Double Chili Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/09 15:22:33
great story Mayhaw. You are good in the tellin, as my granny would say.

I think you and my husband have some of the same "friends". Their escapades usually involve wild game and wild turkey out in the "Man City" they construct for themselves on our place during dove season.

Your description of our summers was perfect! It is always a cruel joke when it gets all grey and cloudy and rainy, then you step outside and melt down.

We had three days of fall here last week, but now it's summer again.
lleechef
Sirloin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/09 18:43:08
Mayhaw, I just read the Turkey Tale for the third time and I swear.........it just keeps getting funnier and funnier. Thanks for the laughs!!!!
MikeS.
Fire Safety Admin
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/10 03:41:08
Well I feel fortunate that I didn't have to wait a day or three to read the whole story. Thanks MM for a wonderful tale! Sometimes it pays to miss a few days here, but not very often.

MikeS.
Jennie
Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/12 13:47:53
Great story, MM! I bought Mr. Jennie a turkey fryer for Christmas a couple of years ago, but we really only bought it for the propane burner and the huge pot. He's used it for brewing and for heating water at medieval events for showering and dishwashing. But the dunking assembly (metal basket and hanger and whatnot) are still in the plastic bag! Maybe he'll be inspired to use it upon reading this.
Thanks!
Jennie
hermitt4d
Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/12 14:14:37
quote:
Originally posted by Jennie

Great story, MM! I bought Mr. Jennie a turkey fryer for Christmas a couple of years ago, but we really only bought it for the propane burner and the huge pot. He's used it for brewing and for heating water at medieval events for showering and dishwashing. But the dunking assembly (metal basket and hanger and whatnot) are still in the plastic bag! Maybe he'll be inspired to use it upon reading this.
Thanks!
Jennie


Shame on Mr. Jennie. Shame, shame, shame . If I lived nearby, I'd come right over and borrow it.

Mayhaw Man - I took longer to get around to reading your story than you took to post it, but thanks for a great tale.
Mayhaw Man
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/12 14:26:25
quote:
Originally posted by Lone Star

great story Mayhaw. You are good in the tellin, as my granny would say.

I think you and my husband have some of the same "friends". Their escapades usually involve wild game and wild turkey out in the "Man City" they construct for themselves on our place during dove season.

Your description of our summers was perfect! It is always a cruel joke when it gets all grey and cloudy and rainy, then you step outside and melt down.

We had three days of fall here last week, but now it's summer again.


Speaking of "Man City", I direct you to give a listen to Cory Morrow's "West Texas Holiday". A fine song about the inate sensibilities of manly persuits.

ALso, if any of you can manage to get to and click on

http://www.nola.com/living/t-p/index.ssf?/base/living-1/106593646634800.xml


, you will find a hilarious piece on an interesting reversal of the popular television program "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". If you enjoy the story you might click on the archives section and read some of Chris's other columns. He is a pretty funny guy in a New Orleans Centric kind of way.
Bushie
Filet Mignon
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/12 17:20:11
Is "Chris Rose" a pen name of a certain Mr. Mayhaw.
Lone Star
Double Chili Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/12 17:28:10
Mayhaw - that article made me laugh out loud...one of the funniest things I have read in a long time! I will have to read some more of his work. I have had similar thoughts myself about that "Queer eye" show, but our lunchtime conversation revolved around "Straight girls for the Queer gals". A little lipstick would help.

The Man-city has evolved to a new level this year. One of the cousins actually purchased a road-crew sleeping trailer with 8 bunks in it, and another cousin who is a golf pro at a resort in the Valley brought along one of the chefs. All they ate though was burned meat. If I am down for the hunt, I give the entire area a wide berth, although we do go and spy on them sometimes, becuase we just know at some point they are dancing naked around the fire.

hermitt4d
Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/12 21:03:58
quote:
Originally posted by Bushie

Is "Chris Rose" a pen name of a certain Mr. Mayhaw.


I'll wager a sausage ring from Black's or a Round Rock donut it's not . That story isn't half as entertaining as our Mayhaw Man's turkey story.
Mayhaw Man
Double Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/12 22:29:54
I am most certainly not Chris, although we are friends and share the same warped sensibilities (except for his strange fascination with our neighbor Britney, I think she's a disgusting little trollop).

He does some pretty funny stuff though and I thought a few of you might enjoy today's offering in the Picayune. My column is much more small town and for some reason (due to the almost useless Picayune website)often unavailable on the web edition.
ocdreamr
Double Chili Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/12 22:54:45
quote:
Originally posted by Jennie

Great story, MM! I bought Mr. Jennie a turkey fryer for Christmas a couple of years ago, but we really only bought it for the propane burner and the huge pot. He's used it for brewing and for heating water at medieval events for showering and dishwashing. But the dunking assembly (metal basket and hanger and whatnot) are still in the plastic bag! Maybe he'll be inspired to use it upon reading this.
Thanks!
Jennie


Jennie,
Didn't you ever wonder about all the turkey fryers you see in the stores around here? Do you think that many Marylanders are frying turkey? Heck no, they make great crab steamers!! Good for corn at a picnic too. Have a friend up in Keymar, he & his brothers use it to fry the bullfrogs they catch.
Jennie
Cheeseburger
RE: Mayhaw Man! 2003/10/13 21:46:23
quote:
Originally posted by ocdreamr Have a friend up in Keymar, he & his brothers use it to fry the bullfrogs they catch.


Oooh. Nummy. Not a lot to do up there in Keymar, I take it. ;)

Yes, my neighbors across the street use theirs to fry potatoes. They slice them thin and deep fry them in the pot for parties. Very versatile thing, a turkey fryer. I remember reading about the corn and stuff when I bought it. But we usually just microwave our corn anyway.

Crabs? They're kinda expensive these days, aren't they still? Or can you get them cheaper where you are. (I'm assuming OC is for Ocean City.)

I've related Mayhaw Man's story to a couple of off-line friends who know about turkey frying, and they were suitably horrified at the notion of chopping up the bird and throwing the bits back in the grease. Glad all was well in the end.