mad cow

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Mongo
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mad cow - Fri, 12/26/03 8:52 AM
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These two cows were talking and one says "What do you think about this mad cow disease?"
The other cow replies "What do I care? Im a helicopter"

Oneiron339
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RE: mad cow - Mon, 12/29/03 9:13 AM
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You know why "Pre-Menstrual Syndrome" is named that? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

BTW, I'm going to Alberta this week and wanted to have a Rocky's Burger Bus super burger. Hope he throws out the bad stuff.

Grampy
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RE: mad cow - Mon, 12/29/03 10:21 AM
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Okay, it's not mad cow, but it's pretty lame:

If Ashcroft had his way..............

PATRIOT ACT PIZZA

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, uh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir. I knew the number you were calling from -- just checking you out for lying."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn! What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our no-fat, Soybean, Alfalfa Sprouts and Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' and 'How To Eat Vegetarian' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. But don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.

UncleVic
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RE: mad cow - Mon, 12/29/03 4:51 PM
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Grampy... I can really see something like that comming our way!

Lone Star
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RE: mad cow - Mon, 12/29/03 5:12 PM
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No one knows what it's like to be the mad cow, to be the sad cow, behind the moo.