The most memorable local eateries along the highways and back roads of America
Sign In | Register for Free!
Restaurants Recipes Forums EatingTours Merchandise FAQ Maps Insider

 mad cow

Author Message
Mongo

  • Total Posts: 7
  • Joined: 12/25/2003
  • Location: Weeki Wachee, FL
mad cow Fri, 12/26/03 8:52 AM (permalink)
These two cows were talking and one says "What do you think about this mad cow disease?"
The other cow replies "What do I care? Im a helicopter"
 
#1
    Oneiron339

    • Total Posts: 2075
    • Joined: 2/13/2002
    • Location: Marietta, GA
    RE: mad cow Mon, 12/29/03 9:13 AM (permalink)
    You know why "Pre-Menstrual Syndrome" is named that? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

    BTW, I'm going to Alberta this week and wanted to have a Rocky's Burger Bus super burger. Hope he throws out the bad stuff.
     
    #2
      Grampy

      • Total Posts: 1559
      • Joined: 10/14/2002
      • Location: Greenfield, MA
      RE: mad cow Mon, 12/29/03 10:21 AM (permalink)
      Okay, it's not mad cow, but it's pretty lame:

      If Ashcroft had his way..............

      PATRIOT ACT PIZZA

      Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

      Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

      Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

      Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, uh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

      Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

      Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

      Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir. I knew the number you were calling from -- just checking you out for lying."

      Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

      Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

      Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

      Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

      Customer: "Damn! What do you recommend, then?"

      Operator: "You might try our no-fat, Soybean, Alfalfa Sprouts and Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

      Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

      Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' and 'How To Eat Vegetarian' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

      Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

      Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

      Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

      Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

      Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

      Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

      Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

      Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

      Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

      Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

      Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

      Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

      Customer: (Speechless)

      Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

      Customer: "No, nothing. But don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

      Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.
       
      #3
        UncleVic

        • Total Posts: 6025
        • Joined: 10/14/2003
        • Location: West Palm Beach, FL
        • Roadfood Insider
        RE: mad cow Mon, 12/29/03 4:51 PM (permalink)
        Grampy... I can really see something like that comming our way!
         
        #4
          Lone Star

          • Total Posts: 1730
          • Joined: 5/22/2003
          • Location: Houston, TX
          RE: mad cow Mon, 12/29/03 5:12 PM (permalink)
          No one knows what it's like to be the mad cow, to be the sad cow, behind the moo.
           
          #5
            Online Bookmarks Sharing: Share/Bookmark

            Jump to:

            Current active users

            There are 0 members and 1 guests.

            Icon Legend and Permission

            • New Messages
            • No New Messages
            • Hot Topic w/ New Messages
            • Hot Topic w/o New Messages
            • Locked w/ New Messages
            • Locked w/o New Messages
            • Read Message
            • Post New Thread
            • Reply to message
            • Post New Poll
            • Submit Vote
            • Post reward post
            • Delete my own posts
            • Delete my own threads
            • Rate post

            2000-2014 ASPPlayground.NET Forum Version 3.9
            What is Roadfood?  |   Privacy Policy  |   Contact Roadfood.com   Copyright 2011 - Roadfood.com