this guy walks into a bar...

Mosca


Descartes is sitting at the back of a Parisian cafe wearing a black turtle neck and smoking endless Gauloises.
Waiter: "What can I get you , Sir"
Descartes: "Coffee, strong."
Waiter: "Would Sir like any milk in that?"
Descartes: "I think not"
Descartes vanishes in a puff of logic.

 
Ha! love it.

Mosca


Descartes is sitting at the back of a Parisian cafe wearing a black turtle neck and smoking endless Gauloises.
Waiter: "What can I get you , Sir"
Descartes: "Coffee, strong."
Waiter: "Would Sir like any milk in that?"
Descartes: "I think not"
Descartes vanishes in a puff of logic.

OOOH.. where is Pxwings when you need her?????
Calling Katie..calling Katie!!!!!!!!

MiamiDon


Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "I can't serve you." says the bartender. "You're Bard!"

Like I said.... Where's Katie???????........

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I've got a drink named for you". The Grasshopper says, "You got a drink named Bob?"

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I've got a drink named for you". The Grasshopper says, "You got a drink named Bob?"

Two guys sitting at the bar, one says to the other... "Did you know that moose have sex 10-15 times a day?"  The other guy says.. "Aw Shucks, and I just joined the VFW...      

How is it that the grasshopper is drinking, yet I'm the one seeing double?

Guy walks into a bar and sits next to a blonde who is watching the 7 o'clock news.  The TV shows a man hanging off a bridge.

Guy say to the blonde, "Bet you $5 that he jumps".  The blonde accepts the bet.  About 2 minutes later the man indeed jumps. The blonde hands over the $5.

Guy looks at the girl sheepishly, "I guess I should tell you that I actually saw it on the earlier 5 o'clock news and saw him jump."

The blonde turns to him and says, "Yeah I saw it earlier too, but I didn't think he'd do it twice!"

Boy, i hope my addition wasn't so bad that it shutoff the thread forever!
 

That"s a great one Fried one! I have heard it told different ways for years! It's an old gamblers joke.

NYNM made up a dumb one about drinking leaves back on P1. In his honer I will give dumb a shot... but mine is a riddle.

An ear of Bay Corn and NYNM walk into a bar. NYNM orders some green Chartrues liqueur, pours it all over the Bay Corn, and then pops it. The bartender says "neat idea NYNM!". What day is it... ???

Neat thread all! :~)
Joe

A woman walks into a bar. She took a seat. The bartender, a former pro wrestler, said, "If you can beat me at squeezing lemons, all your drinks are on the house. But no one EVER beats me at squeezing lemons."

The woman accepted the challenge. The bartender took a fresh lemon, cut it in half, and held the hemisphere over a bar glass. He squeezed and squeezed, until every last drop had fallen into the glass. Then he handed the wrung-out husk to the woman.

"If you can get even one more drop out of that, your drinks are free," he said.

 The woman took the lemon into her small hand. She squeezed. Nothing happens. She closed her eyes and squeezed some more. And squeezed. And squeezed.

A tiny, golden drop formed at the bottom of the lemon.

Every eye in the place watched her. The bartender held his breath. The drop grew larger. It shimmered, bulged and fell into the glass.

"My god!" the bartender gasped. "How did you DO that? You're so small! I've had LUMBERJACKS who couldn't win that bet. Just who ARE you?"

The woman smiled.

"No one special," she said. "Just your everyday Kansas City divorce lawyer."

A mushroom walks into a bar.

He orders a drink. 
 
The bartender says, “I’m sorry.  We don’t serve your kind here”.
 
The mushroom replies, “Why not?  I’m a fungi”?
 

Took me a min Dog!

Who else didn't get that right away?

And, looks like no one could solve my riddle from above. :~)
Joe

Well, we don't celebrate John Barley Bay Corn day in this country, anymore than Guy Fawkes Day, so my guess is that it is St. Patty's with Green Corned Bay Corn...........and NYNM has a beef with you and I ragging him!.........LOL

PapaJoe8


Took me a min Dog!

Who else didn't get that right away?

And, looks like no one could solve my riddle from above. :~)
Joe

Ya.  When I tell that joke, I usually have to explain it 50% of the time.  It's a good one though; short and clean.

Oh Fried one, I didn't know about a beef. Maybe I made a post when I had had a few? NYNM is one of my favorite folks. Yes, you got it right. NYNM made a post last St. Paddy's day about popping green bay corn. That is what made me think of my dumb joke.

Dog, know how to keep a good looking blond, you meet in a bar, in suspense on Monday? Tell her a joke on Friday. Just kidding all you good looking blonds  here. :~)
Joe

Joe................until you have had Bay Corned beef with cabbage, you have yet to see the light into heaven!

Fried one, that is on my list for this St. Paddy's Day. Hey, I love all three. :~)

We had better stay on topic! This thread is about... what kinda restaurant? Oh, no... it's about walk into bar jokes. Nevermind.#$%^&*
Joe

A guy walks into a bar  in the Chesapeake and asks in a stutter............."you got B-B-B Bay corn?

Bartender looks at him and says "No.  But we have John Barleycorn."

"O-O-Ok" says the guy, Give me that b-b-b-b-but if I don't like it, you have to g-g-g-give it to me for free!

The Bartender agrees and serves him.  The guy takes one sip and spits it out and asks for his money back.  The Bartender gives it to him.

The guy picks up the rest of the drink and starts to walk out of the bar.  The Bartender yells, "Hey, what's the deal? i thought you didn't like it?"

The guy turns and says (in a perfectly normal voice)....."You have been Bay-Conned" (or is that Bay-corn-conned?)

******

OK.best i could come up with to get us back on track!

Wow! Great Fried one! Have you ever considered a career in stand up??? Before you answer... if you had 10 mil... would that be something you would like to do? :~0
Joe

I had 10 mil......after all this bailout baloney and what it did to the market.........I have baloney. Period

Hate to hear that fried one! Well... the world of comedy awaits you. :~)
Joe

This guy walks into a crowded bar, and he's accompanied by four beautiful women.  He tells the barkeep, "drinks for everybody at the bar, I'm buying".

While the bartender starts serving the drinks, the guy reaches in his pocket and pulls out a little man who stood about a foot tall.  No sooner did the bartender serve all the drinks, the little man took off down the bar and kicked them all over.

The guy says, "don't worry, set em up again, Ive got plenty of money".

The bartender got busy and got all the drinks served again, and just as he did, the little man kicked them all over again.

The guy says, "don't worry, set em up again, Ive got plenty of money"

The bartender, really ticked by now, says, "wait a minute, what's the story here?"

The guy says, "I was stranded on a desert island and I found an old bottle.  When I opened it, out popped a genie who told me I had three wishes."

"My first wish was that I would always have plenty of money, and as you can see, I'm loaded."

"My second wish was that I'd always be surrounded by beautiful women, and as you can see, that wish came true too.

"My third wish was that I had a twelve inch P***k, and there that little sumbich is."

And then another guy went into another bar down the street, and he had a shoebox under his arm.  He told the bartender, "I've got a little guy in here who plays the piano, and he'll play you a tune if you give me a drink."  The bartender says, "I've got to see this, it's a deal."  So the guy opens the box and lifts out a little man about a foot tall and a little piano and stool.  The little fellow sits down and plays a beautiful classical piece, then stands up and takes a bow.

The bartender sets up the drink and says, "I'll be darned.  Wherever did you get something like that?"  The guy says, "I was walking on the beach one day and found this old, green bottle.  It was all dirty and I was rubbing the dirt off of it when a genie appeared and said he would grant me one wish for setting him free.  But he must have been a little hard of hearing, 'cause I sure didn't ask for a twelve inch pianist!"

Easy, LOLOL, I didn't see that coming!
Joe