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 My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order)

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John Fox

  • Total Posts: 2313
  • Joined: 12/3/2000
  • Location: Union, NJ
My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 7:02 AM (permalink)
1) "We get our dogs made specially for us" Easily the most common lie in the business. Owners say this so that you will think you can only get a particular dog from them. There are exceptions, such as the Galloping Hill Inn and Marci's, but more than 9 times out of 10 it's a lie. I was disappointed to hear this lie repeated twice recently at Rutt's Hut. Of course I didn't sit by quietly but called them on it.

2) "We make our dogs here" Not as common as lie #1, but I've heard it more than a few times. Galloping Hill Inn and Maui's were guilty of this. I ask to see the sausage making equipment.

3)"Our dogs are smaller so we can fit in more toppings" Bull$hit. Get a bigger roll. Many serve smaller dogs, charge the same as those who serve bigger ones and count on you not noticing.

4) "We use skinless dogs because the elderly have a hard time chewing the casing" No you don't. You do it because skinless dogs are cheaper. I've heard this one a lot. Once a guy who was located in an industrial area and served mainly factory workers gave this as a reason. I doubt he had very many elderly customers.

5) "You'll like OUR veggie dogs" Whoever invented this abomination should be shot. If you don't want to eat a real hot dog, get a salad. A real hot dog is made from real meat. Beef. Pork. Veal. Buffalo. Or any combination. Anything made from poultry, fish, or whatever the hell they put in veggie dogs is not a hot dog. I don't care what the label calls it.

6) Adding stupid ingredients like truffles, foie gras, raspberry wasabi sauce, cream cheese, and other assorted crap and calling it a "haute dog" enhances the hot dog. No, it masks the flavor of it. A true hot dog was meant to be enjoyed with mustard and/or a minimum of toppings that enhance, not mask the frankfurter. You wouldn't put this crap on a high quality pastrami sandwich. It's trendy, pretentious, and more often than not the invention of a bored chef. These people ought to be lined up next to the veggie, salmon, and poultry dog people.

7) "It's a hot dog; no one can tell the difference" I get this when I ask why someone is using a cheap, low quality dog. This one may not even belong on the list because in many parts of the country, particularly the south, hardly anyone cares about the actual frank; it's more about the toppings. Especially the slaw in places like Virginia and Carolina where they use a cheap, bland dog.

8) "Our special chili is from a family recipe dating all the way back to the Garden of Eden" Many, if not most hot dog purveyors make their own chili. But a lot use the canned kind (which is not a crime) but try to pass it off as homemade.

9) "You're a hot dog snob" No, I'm not. That term is an oxymoron, like jumbo shrimp. We are talking about a simple, unpretentious food. I look for a quality frankfurter, prepared well whether it's in water, deep fried, griddled, grilled, or some combination: at a decent size served hot on a fresh bun. There's no such thing as a hot dog snob, although the "haute dog" people who gussie up their dogs with all sorts of esoteric crap and have them with expensive wine come close.
 
10) "Hot dogs are good for you" I've uttered this one myself in an effort to get my wife off my back for complaining that I eat too many double Italian Hot Dogs. I tried to tell her they are a healthy, well balanced meal containing bread, meat, vegetables, and potatoes. She wasn't having it.
 
#1
    leethebard

    • Total Posts: 6081
    • Joined: 8/16/2007
    • Location: brick, NJ
    Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 8:37 AM (permalink)
    John,your post was so true and so much fun,I found myself reading it twice.....and what isn't healthy about a great Jersey dog!!!!
     
    #2
      ScreenBear

      • Total Posts: 1504
      • Joined: 9/18/2005
      • Location: Westfield, NJ
      Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 9:22 AM (permalink)
      Well said, Mr. Fox. 
       
        The Bear
       
      #3
        myterry2

        • Total Posts: 526
        • Joined: 4/15/2007
        • Location: Lake Forest, IL
        Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 9:40 AM (permalink)
        Finally, somebody gets it.
         
        #4
          Michael Hoffman

          • Total Posts: 17837
          • Joined: 7/1/2000
          • Location: Gahanna, OH
          Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 10:39 AM (permalink)
          Good Job!
           
          #5
            Twinwillow

            • Total Posts: 4898
            • Joined: 4/15/2006
            • Location: "Big D"
            Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 10:55 AM (permalink)
            Very well written and, how true! I wish I were that eloquent.
             
            #6
              kevincad

              • Total Posts: 399
              • Joined: 1/23/2008
              • Location: Snellville, GA
              Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 11:00 AM (permalink)
              John Fox


              1) "We get our dogs made specially for us" Easily the most common lie in the business. Owners say this so that you will think you can only get a particular dog from them. There are exceptions, such as the Galloping Hill Inn and Marci's, but more than 9 times out of 10 it's a lie. I was disappointed to hear this lie repeated twice recently at Rutt's Hut. Of course I didn't sit by quietly but called them on it.

              2) "We make our dogs here" Not as common as lie #1, but I've heard it more than a few times. Galloping Hill Inn and Maui's were guilty of this. I ask to see the sausage making equipment.

              3)"Our dogs are smaller so we can fit in more toppings" Bull$hit. Get a bigger roll. Many serve smaller dogs, charge the same as those who serve bigger ones and count on you not noticing.

              4) "We use skinless dogs because the elderly have a hard time chewing the casing" No you don't. You do it because skinless dogs are cheaper. I've heard this one a lot. Once a guy who was located in an industrial area and served mainly factory workers gave this as a reason. I doubt he had very many elderly customers.

              5) "You'll like OUR veggie dogs" Whoever invented this abomination should be shot. If you don't want to eat a real hot dog, get a salad. A real hot dog is made from real meat. Beef. Pork. Veal. Buffalo. Or any combination. Anything made from poultry, fish, or whatever the hell they put in veggie dogs is not a hot dog. I don't care what the label calls it.

              6) Adding stupid ingredients like truffles, foie gras, raspberry wasabi sauce, cream cheese, and other assorted crap and calling it a "haute dog" enhances the hot dog. No, it masks the flavor of it. A true hot dog was meant to be enjoyed with mustard and/or a minimum of toppings that enhance, not mask the frankfurter. You wouldn't put this crap on a high quality pastrami sandwich. It's trendy, pretentious, and more often than not the invention of a bored chef. These people ought to be lined up next to the veggie, salmon, and poultry dog people.

              7) "It's a hot dog; no one can tell the difference" I get this when I ask why someone is using a cheap, low quality dog. This one may not even belong on the list because in many parts of the country, particularly the south, hardly anyone cares about the actual frank; it's more about the toppings. Especially the slaw in places like Virginia and Carolina where they use a cheap, bland dog.

              8) "Our special chili is from a family recipe dating all the way back to the Garden of Eden" Many, if not most hot dog purveyors make their own chili. But a lot use the canned kind (which is not a crime) but try to pass it off as homemade.

              9) "You're a hot dog snob" No, I'm not. That term is an oxymoron, like jumbo shrimp. We are talking about a simple, unpretentious food. I look for a quality frankfurter, prepared well whether it's in water, deep fried, griddled, grilled, or some combination: at a decent size served hot on a fresh bun. There's no such thing as a hot dog snob, although the "haute dog" people who gussie up their dogs with all sorts of esoteric crap and have them with expensive wine come close.

              10) "Hot dogs are good for you" I've uttered this one myself in an effort to get my wife off my back for complaining that I eat too many double Italian Hot Dogs. I tried to tell her they are a healthy, well balanced meal containing bread, meat, vegetables, and potatoes. She wasn't having it.

              You are wrong about #7. There are MANY good dogs in the south. 
               
              #7
                pnwchef

                • Total Posts: 2236
                • Joined: 3/16/2011
                • Location: Kennewick, WA
                Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 11:02 AM (permalink)
                John, we do have Dr of BBQ on this site, if hot dogs were bad wouldn't we know about it by now. Take two hot dogs and call the dr in the morning.....nice job on the list, and how true......thx pnwc
                 
                #8
                  mar52

                  • Total Posts: 7599
                  • Joined: 4/17/2005
                  • Location: Marina del Rey, CA
                  Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 12:44 PM (permalink)
                  "These are made specially for us"
                   
                  1.  Carney's in Studio City and Hollywood, CA
                  2.  Cupid's around the San Fernando Valley, CA
                   
                  "We make our dogs here"
                  1.  The now defunct Wiener Factor of Sherman Oaks, CA
                   
                  "Hot dogs are good for you"
                   
                  1.  Me  (They make me smile)
                   
                  #9
                    edwmax

                    • Total Posts: 2015
                    • Joined: 1/1/2007
                    • Location: Cairo, GA
                    Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 12:56 PM (permalink)
                    kevincad


                    John Fox


                    1) "We get our dogs made specially for us" Easily the most common lie in the business. Owners say this so that you will think you can only get a particular dog from them. There are exceptions, such as the Galloping Hill Inn and Marci's, but more than 9 times out of 10 it's a lie. I was disappointed to hear this lie repeated twice recently at Rutt's Hut. Of course I didn't sit by quietly but called them on it.

                    2) "We make our dogs here" Not as common as lie #1, but I've heard it more than a few times. Galloping Hill Inn and Maui's were guilty of this. I ask to see the sausage making equipment.

                    3)"Our dogs are smaller so we can fit in more toppings" Bull$hit. Get a bigger roll. Many serve smaller dogs, charge the same as those who serve bigger ones and count on you not noticing.

                    4) "We use skinless dogs because the elderly have a hard time chewing the casing" No you don't. You do it because skinless dogs are cheaper. I've heard this one a lot. Once a guy who was located in an industrial area and served mainly factory workers gave this as a reason. I doubt he had very many elderly customers.

                    5) "You'll like OUR veggie dogs" Whoever invented this abomination should be shot. If you don't want to eat a real hot dog, get a salad. A real hot dog is made from real meat. Beef. Pork. Veal. Buffalo. Or any combination. Anything made from poultry, fish, or whatever the hell they put in veggie dogs is not a hot dog. I don't care what the label calls it.

                    6) Adding stupid ingredients like truffles, foie gras, raspberry wasabi sauce, cream cheese, and other assorted crap and calling it a "haute dog" enhances the hot dog. No, it masks the flavor of it. A true hot dog was meant to be enjoyed with mustard and/or a minimum of toppings that enhance, not mask the frankfurter. You wouldn't put this crap on a high quality pastrami sandwich. It's trendy, pretentious, and more often than not the invention of a bored chef. These people ought to be lined up next to the veggie, salmon, and poultry dog people.

                    7) "It's a hot dog; no one can tell the difference" I get this when I ask why someone is using a cheap, low quality dog. This one may not even belong on the list because in many parts of the country, particularly the south, hardly anyone cares about the actual frank; it's more about the toppings. Especially the slaw in places like Virginia and Carolina where they use a cheap, bland dog.

                    8) "Our special chili is from a family recipe dating all the way back to the Garden of Eden" Many, if not most hot dog purveyors make their own chili. But a lot use the canned kind (which is not a crime) but try to pass it off as homemade.

                    9) "You're a hot dog snob" No, I'm not. That term is an oxymoron, like jumbo shrimp. We are talking about a simple, unpretentious food. I look for a quality frankfurter, prepared well whether it's in water, deep fried, griddled, grilled, or some combination: at a decent size served hot on a fresh bun. There's no such thing as a hot dog snob, although the "haute dog" people who gussie up their dogs with all sorts of esoteric crap and have them with expensive wine come close.

                    10) "Hot dogs are good for you" I've uttered this one myself in an effort to get my wife off my back for complaining that I eat too many double Italian Hot Dogs. I tried to tell her they are a healthy, well balanced meal containing bread, meat, vegetables, and potatoes. She wasn't having it.

                    You are wrong about #7. There are MANY good dogs in the south. 

                     
                    And, some of us southerners do care.  ... Which is why we (I) generally eat chopped steak, salad and Texas toast   ... aka ... hamburger when put all together ...
                     
                    #10
                      ken8038

                      • Total Posts: 1559
                      • Joined: 2/4/2004
                      • Location: scotch plains, NJ
                      Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 6:53 PM (permalink)
                      Excellent!
                       
                      The only one I'd question a little is #7. When a place is noted for it's weiner sauce or chili topping, I find I almost prefer a less-flavorful hot dog so that it doesn't distract from the sauce. An example I was recently at was G & A Restaurant in Baltimore. The dogs themselves were nothing special, the local Esskay brand I believe, but the chili sauce made it one of the best chili dogs I've ever had.
                       
                      As for #9, "Hot Dogs are Good for you". My Grandmother, who lived to be 99, always said, "Well, you gotta have a little fun".
                       
                      PS: How about sort of a 1A or 2A? "We make our own mustard", or "Our mustard is specially made for us". Neither is ever true.
                       
                      #11
                        EdSails

                        • Total Posts: 3577
                        • Joined: 5/9/2003
                        • Location: Mission Viejo, CA
                        Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sun, 06/16/13 7:56 PM (permalink)
                        OK, John, I like #4. I wish there was a law against skinless dogs!
                         
                        #12
                          leethebard

                          • Total Posts: 6081
                          • Joined: 8/16/2007
                          • Location: brick, NJ
                          Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Mon, 06/17/13 5:31 AM (permalink)
                          ken8038


                          Excellent!

                          The only one I'd question a little is #7. When a place is noted for it's weiner sauce or chili topping, I find I almost prefer a less-flavorful hot dog so that it doesn't distract from the sauce. An example I was recently at was G & A Restaurant in Baltimore. The dogs themselves were nothing special, the local Esskay brand I believe, but the chili sauce made it one of the best chili dogs I've ever had.

                          As for #9, "Hot Dogs are Good for you". My Grandmother, who lived to be 99, always said, "Well, you gotta have a little fun".

                          PS: How about sort of a 1A or 2A? "We make our own mustard", or "Our mustard is specially made for us". Neither is ever true.

                          ...on the other hand, if the chili is what I want to taste, I'll get a cup....when I'm having a hotdog,if the chili overpowers the taste of the hotdog, why have the hotdog???
                           
                          #13
                            brisketboy

                            • Total Posts: 1056
                            • Joined: 6/11/2007
                            • Location: Austin, TX
                            Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Mon, 06/17/13 8:55 AM (permalink)
                            You have done us a great service. I now no longer question why the dogs at a certain Austin establishment are covered with so much detritus that you can hardly see, much less taste the dog.
                             
                            #14
                              eruby

                              • Total Posts: 585
                              • Joined: 2/28/2008
                              • Location: Carroll County, People's Republic of Maryland
                              • Roadfood Insider
                              Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Tue, 06/18/13 7:09 AM (permalink)
                              This post is the smile of the week.
                               
                              Thank you John!
                               
                              #15
                                CajunKing

                                • Total Posts: 6317
                                • Joined: 7/6/2006
                                • Location: Live at Saint Clair
                                • Roadfood Insider
                                Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Tue, 06/18/13 6:20 PM (permalink)
                                John - You have done it again.  Your list not only made me laugh but it also was educational too.
                                 
                                #5 - Right On I will bring the ammo
                                 
                                #10 - Tell your wife it is all in how one looks at it.  Was it totally healthy, maybe not, but was it nutritional yes, did you smile and enjoy it?  yes and there you are exercising your mind and your muscles, so YES a Hot Dog is good for you!
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                #16
                                  3 Olives

                                  • Total Posts: 101
                                  • Joined: 1/14/2012
                                  • Location: Charlotte, NC
                                  Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Fri, 07/5/13 5:39 PM (permalink)
                                  You're way off the mark on #7. A lot of us like natural casings and specific brands.
                                   
                                  #17
                                    leethebard

                                    • Total Posts: 6081
                                    • Joined: 8/16/2007
                                    • Location: brick, NJ
                                    Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Fri, 07/5/13 7:51 PM (permalink)
                                    3 Olives


                                    You're way off the mark on #7. A lot of us like natural casings and specific brands.

                                    Read it carefully.....he's putting down people who say a dog is a dog...and don't know a quality dog from a store brand or a ball park dog!!!! They're stupid lines John has heard...and sad to say....MANY don't know one dog from another.
                                    <message edited by leethebard on Fri, 07/5/13 7:53 PM>
                                     
                                    #18
                                      3 Olives

                                      • Total Posts: 101
                                      • Joined: 1/14/2012
                                      • Location: Charlotte, NC
                                      Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sat, 07/6/13 7:06 AM (permalink)
                                      leethebard


                                      3 Olives


                                      You're way off the mark on #7. A lot of us like natural casings and specific brands.

                                      Read it carefully.....he's putting down people who say a dog is a dog...and don't know a quality dog from a store brand or a ball park dog!!!! They're stupid lines John has heard...and sad to say....MANY don't know one dog from another.

                                      He says, "This one may not even belong on the list because in many parts of the country, particularly the south, hardly anyone cares about the actual frank; it's more about the toppings. Especially the slaw in places like Virginia and Carolina where they use a cheap, bland dog."


                                       
                                      #19
                                        leethebard

                                        • Total Posts: 6081
                                        • Joined: 8/16/2007
                                        • Location: brick, NJ
                                        Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sat, 07/6/13 7:56 AM (permalink)
                                        3 Olives


                                        leethebard


                                        3 Olives


                                        You're way off the mark on #7. A lot of us like natural casings and specific brands.

                                        Read it carefully.....he's putting down people who say a dog is a dog...and don't know a quality dog from a store brand or a ball park dog!!!! They're stupid lines John has heard...and sad to say....MANY don't know one dog from another.

                                        He says, "This one may not even belong on the list because in many parts of the country, particularly the south, hardly anyone cares about the actual frank; it's more about the toppings. Especially the slaw in places like Virginia and Carolina where they use a cheap, bland dog."

                                        ...and he's still right.....while many of US still care about a quality dog...many Americans( and I've spent summers in North Carolina and other states) couldn't give a damn about brand or quality....our stores are filled with dogs worse than ball park,even, and someone is buying all those dogs. Yes many here appreciate a quality dog, but too many don't...and oh,God, those toppings. You could have a catdboard tube under it, and still not tell.When all you taste is deliclous toppings anyway, I guess a cheap ,bland dog doesn't matter.I'll stand behind anything John Fox says(and knows) about the American hot dog!!!!!!! He was talking about hot dog "lies" and the explanation why some owners use cheap dogs..as in "who cares about quality when they have all that crap on them anyway" It's like a whopper or big mack..or loaded taco bell...who can taste the meat under all the stuff on it...by the way a whopper tastes the same if you take the meat out!! When toppings overwhelm the meat, why worry about the meat!
                                        <message edited by leethebard on Sat, 07/6/13 8:05 AM>
                                         
                                        #20
                                          Twinwillow

                                          • Total Posts: 4898
                                          • Joined: 4/15/2006
                                          • Location: "Big D"
                                          Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sat, 07/6/13 10:52 AM (permalink)
                                          EdSails


                                          OK, John, I like #4. I wish there was a law against skinless dogs!

                                           
                                          I totally agree! I will not eat a skinless dog!
                                           
                                          #21
                                            leethebard

                                            • Total Posts: 6081
                                            • Joined: 8/16/2007
                                            • Location: brick, NJ
                                            Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sat, 07/6/13 2:06 PM (permalink)
                                            Yep, natural casing's the way to go...the snap gives pop to the dog!
                                             
                                            #22
                                              3 Olives

                                              • Total Posts: 101
                                              • Joined: 1/14/2012
                                              • Location: Charlotte, NC
                                              Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sat, 07/6/13 4:35 PM (permalink)
                                              leethebard


                                              3 Olives


                                              leethebard


                                              3 Olives


                                              You're way off the mark on #7. A lot of us like natural casings and specific brands.

                                              Read it carefully.....he's putting down people who say a dog is a dog...and don't know a quality dog from a store brand or a ball park dog!!!! They're stupid lines John has heard...and sad to say....MANY don't know one dog from another.

                                              He says, "This one may not even belong on the list because in many parts of the country, particularly the south, hardly anyone cares about the actual frank; it's more about the toppings. Especially the slaw in places like Virginia and Carolina where they use a cheap, bland dog."

                                              ...and he's still right.....while many of US still care about a quality dog...many Americans( and I've spent summers in North Carolina and other states) couldn't give a damn about brand or quality....our stores are filled with dogs worse than ball park,even, and someone is buying all those dogs. Yes many here appreciate a quality dog, but too many don't...and oh,God, those toppings. You could have a catdboard tube under it, and still not tell.When all you taste is deliclous toppings anyway, I guess a cheap ,bland dog doesn't matter.I'll stand behind anything John Fox says(and knows) about the American hot dog!!!!!!! He was talking about hot dog "lies" and the explanation why some owners use cheap dogs..as in "who cares about quality when they have all that crap on them anyway" It's like a whopper or big mack..or loaded taco bell...who can taste the meat under all the stuff on it...by the way a whopper tastes the same if you take the meat out!! When toppings overwhelm the meat, why worry about the meat!

                                              You missed the point again. I'm not criticising John, but I do think he paints the South with too broad a brush.
                                               
                                              #23
                                                John Fox

                                                • Total Posts: 2313
                                                • Joined: 12/3/2000
                                                • Location: Union, NJ
                                                Re:My favorite hot dog lies (in no particular order) Sat, 07/6/13 5:03 PM (permalink)
                                                I'm not saying there aren't some good dogs to be found in the south or people who enjoy them. But for the most part the dogs used are bland, skinless, and contain poultry. When you read a review for a hot dog establishment rarely is the frank touted; it's about the chili and/or slaw. When I refer to this lie; it's always been told to me here in the north. People I know from N.J. have told me that even the name places like the Varsity use low quality dogs. 
                                                 
                                                 
                                                #24
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