quote:Originally posted by PapaJoe8
Kind of off topic but Roossy's post brought up some questions.
Where did the Italians get those Water Buffalo? I hear they are gentle and like members of the family in Italy.
When, and why, and how did tomatoes turn red?
Joe
Ah, well, I'm glad you asked. Italians got those water buffalo the hard way. You see, first they had to get water.
One day, an Italian backpacker walking east to west through a gap in the Apennine Mountains ran out of land and dicovered a sea. After checking carefully he was able to determine that the sea was filled with water. Astounded, he decided to go back to his village in central Italy to let people know that he had found this stuff called water.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, as it turned out, while crossing back through the Apennines a snowstorm caused him to lose his way. Being the sort of person who would never allow a simple blizzard to deter him from his goal, he fought his way on through the blinding storm that seriously hampered his vision and, lo and behold (as opposed to Po and behold, which is another valley), He found another sea, and it, too, turned out to be filled with water.
This was an astounding turn of events, because the people of Italy did not know that there was water anywhere near their seriously parched nation. The fact is, they'd never actually heard of water, and as they had grapes with which to make wine, they could not have cared less. This fact,of course, leads the astute person to wonder how the backpacking Italian would have known that the wet stuff he'd discovered was water. But that's another story.
When he tried to tell the people from his village that he had found water both to the west and to the east, he was vilified as not being a true beliver in dryness. In effect, the people of his village buffaloed him.
And that, of course, is how Italians ended up with water buffalo.
Your question about how tomatoes turned red is more difficult to answer. However, after a great deal of research I believe I have found the answer.
In 1627, November, I believe, An Italian maiden (yes there was one, but she was so embarrassed to still be a maiden at age 14 that she refused to give her name to the National Enquirer) decided to take her annual bath in the Tiber River.
Looking around and checking carefully to make certain that there were no prying eyes, she slipped into a field of green tomatoes next to the Tiber and proceeded to disrobe prior to entering the water. Everything was going well until she realized that she had left her Lava Soap on the bank.
The maiden, fully believing that she was alone, slipped from the river to retrieve her soap. As it turned out, however, the green tomatoes were paying attention, as green tomatoes are wont to do under certain circumstances.
The sudden appearance of the naked maiden did, unfortunately, cause one of the green tomato plants, a male plant, you understand, to experience a sudden state of distention, or turgidity, which so embarrassed this plant that it turned bright red.
The other tomato plants, seeing this effect, were mesmerized, and could not help but try to do the same.
So, the fact is, tomatoes turned red because of both embarrasment and penis envy.
I hope this has helped.