Haggis

Haggis Poem - tongue in cheek!


Much to his dad and mum's dismay
Horace ate himself one day
He didn't stop to say his grace
He just sat down and ate his face
"We can't have this!" his dad declared
"If that lad's ate he should be shared"
But even as he spoke they saw
Horace eating more and more:
First his legs and then his thighs,
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes
"Stop him someone!" Mother cried
"Those eyeballs would be better fried!"
But all too late for they were gone,
And he had started on his dong...
"Oh foolish child!" the father mourned
"You could have deep-fried those with prawns,
Some parsely and some tartar sauce..."
But H was on his second course;
His liver and his lights and lung,
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue
"To think I raised himn from the cot
And now he's gone to scoff the lot!"
His mother cried what shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew..."
And as she wept her son was seen
To eat his head his heart his spleen
And there he lay, a boy no more
Just a stomach on the floor...
None the less since it was his
They ate it - and that's what haggis is

From: Monty Python's Big Red Book
Published by NTC/Contemporary Publishing
Publication date: September 1980
ISBN: 0809280477
(out of print)

Moderator, please !! The subjects of haggis and road food should be mutually exclusive ! For the love of God, man !!!!!!

I don't know ... Haggis kind of reminds me of something you would find in the middle of the ROAD .... In South Carolina ... In August ..... on a 100 Degree day !!!

I was once told that all of the food in Scotland was "dare food". As in, "I dare ya' to eat this laddie!"

Well, no need to work late today as I won't be taking a lunch break! That worked as one heck of an appetite suppressant.

Tried it once in Scotland. Our tour giude was asked what parts of the sheep were used in making it. He paused, reflecting, and said something like, "Well, I'm pretty sure they don't use any of the hairy bits." Brought some home, never dared open it.

I believe this is what one calls "non-intestinal haggis" (ahh, such an appetizing name ), meaning it is made in a crock rather than stuffed into kishkes. It is from a place called Nico's in Inverness, and I must say, I loved it! (Jane wouldn't touch it, or me...)

If ever a culture needed strong drink, it is the Scottish.

"Hoot mon, pass the bottle. She's got Haggis waitin' far me at home!"

quote:

Originally posted by Mayhaw Man

If ever a culture needed strong drink, it is the Scottish.

"Hoot mon, pass the bottle. She's got Haggis waitin' far me at home!"

ROFLMAO!!

quote:

Originally posted by tiki

quote:

Originally posted by Mayhaw Man

If ever a culture needed strong drink, it is the Scottish.

"Hoot mon, pass the bottle. She's got Haggis waitin' far me at home!"

ROFLMAO!!

At last, a Mavericks fan !!

I have a friend who was born and raised in Glasgow. She never had an opportunity to try haggis until she moved to the US.

Our honeymoon was in Scotland and I often ate haggis, but with a strong drink. Organs, done right, can be quite tasty.

quote:

(Jane wouldn't touch it, or me...)

Given that, and the comments about organ meats above, I ain't gonna touch that line at all!

Hey guys - newbie here...

In point of fact, good haggis, such as the stuff my father sells, is madfe of prime lamb mince, oatmeal, pepper, and that's it. A sight healthier, in other words, than the average hotdog.

With heavily buttered mashed neeps and tatties [turnip and potato], or a good homemade Yorkshire pudding, haggis ranks up there with kedgeree as one of the most comforting meals on the planet.

Cheers;

Paul

quote:

Originally posted by Paul J

Hey guys - newbie here...

In point of fact, good haggis, such as the stuff my father sells, is madfe of prime lamb mince, oatmeal, pepper, and that's it. A sight healthier, in other words, than the average hotdog.

With heavily buttered mashed neeps and tatties [turnip and potato], or a good homemade Yorkshire pudding, haggis ranks up there with kedgeree as one of the most comforting meals on the planet.

Cheers;


Paul

So Paul,where does your dad sell this---I'll eat that!

quote:

So Paul,where does your dad sell this---I'll eat that!

Ummm... Scarborough, I'm afraid. The one in England, that is, not the one in Maine.

Bit of a long way to go for your groceries.

However, if you really feel like treating yourself, you could always try:

http://www.scottishgourmetfood.co.uk/

(Usual disclaimer here - this firm has nowt to do with me)

Their black pudding looks pretty good, too: I recommend slicing it thinly, then frying in a little butter with apples [Pippins or Bramleys, for preference] chopped longitudinally into sixteenths.

Problem is, of course, that they don't advise shipment of this stuff outside the EC, but since this is Cockburn's haggis we're talking about, no risk is too great. And, if you go for the insulated hamper option, you should be fine.

Cheers;

Paul

Dearfolk,
Looks like sort of a cross between bagpipes and livermush, if you ask me. (Well... maybe more like goetta....)
Tart An' Lively, Ort. Carlton in Neepless, Tattieless Athens, Georgia.
P. S. Did Beatnik Scotsmen live in plaid pads?
P. P. S. A good single malt - a nice "salty" one like my favourite, Isle Of Jura - would help ease that right down.
P. P. P. S. Dendan - I do not recommend serving slaw with haggis. By the way - seriously, for once - thank you mightily for your poem. The Spanish Inquisition arrives shortly, y'know.

Ort - I know your feelings about slaw! HAppy to add a different bend to topics from time to time.

quote:

Originally posted by Paul J

Hey guys - newbie here...

In point of fact, good haggis, such as the stuff my father sells, is madfe of prime lamb mince, oatmeal, pepper, and that's it. A sight healthier, in other words, than the average hotdog.

With heavily buttered mashed neeps and tatties [turnip and potato], or a good homemade Yorkshire pudding, haggis ranks up there with kedgeree as one of the most comforting meals on the planet.

Cheers;

Paul

So where does he sell this ambrosia? I'll risk it!

quote:

Originally posted by clothier

Haggis. Lutefisk. What's next?

I think its time for a nice friendly discussion on chitlins !!!!

or some other tasty organ meat !!!!

From what I know of haggis, it was probably the reason for the invention of single-malt Scotch -- and plenty of it.

One should quote the old saw, "Organ meats are simply offal!"

quote:

Originally posted by scbuzz

I think its time for a nice friendly discussion on chitlins !!!!



Dearfolk,
Chitterlings? Boiled or fried? I'll take 'em either way, or both, if given the opportunity.
Out Testinally, Ort. Carlton in Offally Supplied Athens, Georgia.
P. S. I don't like slaw with my chitlin's.
P. P. S. The abbreviation "chitlin's" is not incorrect: the apostrophe is because the "g" is eliminated. (I won't say how.)
P. P. P. S. When I renewed my driver's license, they asked me if I wanted to be an organ donor. "Those are pretty expensive," I mused. "May I be a piano donor instead?"

BTW, and I know I'm only making the situation worse with this reply, but how the Hell has the subject of friggin' Haggis remained a "recent forum topic" on this site for so long ??