Fortune Cookie and Sayings

I saw this fortune cookie and thought it was pretty funny:


What are some funny fortunes you've gotten? What's your favorite? Do you carry any with you? Is a fortune cookie considered dessert? How do you read yours? Do you eat the cookie first then read the fortune?

Jennifer 8 Lee wrote a pretty interesting book on the fortune cookie and it's origins...it's really more about American-Chinese food and how it came to be what it is now.
http://www.amazon.com/For...-Chinese/dp/0446580074

I know some people who add "with no pants on" to each fortune. It makes some of them reallly funny. Try it!

mbrookes - My friends and I always add "....in bed!"  to the end of each fortune.  Similar.

My typical practice is to smash the cookie with my fist, while still in the bag, and pick the fortune out.  I don't like the taste of fortune cookies, not even the chocolate ones.

The funniest one that I've ever seen was in college.  A few friends and I went to a Chinese Buffet.  One of their fortunes said, "You are the only flower in the wilderness of life."  Needless to say, we mocked him about that one for awhile.

My favorite is "Pork fried rice is good." What made this hilarious was that the cookie was served in a kosher Chinese restaurant.

I  have one taped to my computer at work:  
 
"Stop procrastinating -- starting tomorrow."
 
 
 

My favorite (and I used to carry it around in my wallet) said:

"You shall soon achieve perfection."

Since that was more than 20 years ago, I wonder if I reached that goal but didn't notice .... but, then, I'm sure my friends, family, and coworkers would have notified me!

catosaurus, "soon" can be relative...with advances in medical technologies there's no telling how long we'll all be around, so it could still be "soon"

I think the best all time is "You will receive a fortune cookie."

"That was not chicken."

Happiness is good food, good wine, and a bad girl. In a restaurant in SF where everyone else got normal boring ones.

 " Within 2 months you will find 5 missing socks"  (in bed?!) 

Do you know who writes the real fortune cookie sayings?

NYPIzzaNut


Do you know who writes the real fortune cookie sayings?

Confucius?

I have heard that rumor...he is kind of ancient but I think he just recently reincarnated once more..so it is logical..

Apparently his name is Donald Lau:
http://www.newyorker.com/...6/050606ta_talk_olshan

Help! I'm a prisoner in a Chinese bakery.

EatingTheRoad


Apparently his name is Donald Lau:
http://www.newyorker.com/...6/050606ta_talk_olshan

I wonder what Confucius did to reincarnate so low on the food chain?

My favorite is:

Young men think old men are fools.  Old men know young men are fools.

Many years ago I would go to a Chinese restaurant every Friday with a  group of work friends. 
One Friday everyone opened their fortune cookie & all of the saying were in English but made no sense:
"The dog enjoys reading the newspaper in the forest."  "Apples are lovely & lucky. "  See the kitty dance & sing greatly."
 
Those are the only ones I remember, but for several months we got these crazy fortune cookies.  Then the cookies went back to regular sayings.  I guess someone in China had a formula for English sentences & lists of articles, nouns, verbs & adjectives.
 

My wife and I recently celebrated our forty-ninth wedding anniversary.
 
It is a strange thing, but since getting married, I have always gotten one of two fortunes in my cookies.
 
The first says, "You are lucky in Love." 
 
The second says, "You are married to the Goddess of Love and Beauty!"

One of the little 'treats' we had in our reception area in the Admissions office at the university where I was employed in the mid-80's, were dishes of cello-wrapped fortune cookies with a message about the advantage of learning at our institution. Visitors and students often commented positively about  the message they got from the cookies, in the feedback surveys we gave our incoming Freshman each year.

Mayor, what a good idea. I bet it would work in many different kinds of offices. I may try it at my business.

MB-
  I wish I could recall the name of the company/bakery that produced the custom message cookies, but it has been quite a few years since I left MSU. We wrote the phrase and they printed it in fortune-cookie filler format and sent us boxes of 50 or 100 of each phrase we ordered. I think they were about 15 cents apiece but discounted for volume orders.

If I find any more info I'll send it along.
AL

When we took my first grandaughter to her first Chinease restaurant to eat, her first forture cookie read "You will be the center of everyone's attention". How true that is and still is 12 years later. I still have the fortune and put it in her scrapbook.