How To Wreck A Burger

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Michael Hoffman
Double-chop Porterhouse
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2010/07/23 17:51:38 (permalink)

How To Wreck A Burger

I was down in southeast Ohio today and on my way home I stopped at a small diner along Route 33, just north of Logan named, strangely enough, the 33 Diner. (I'd been there before, about two years ago, but it had shut down and now had new ownership.) I went in, sat at the counter and ordered a cheeseburger -- no lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles -- anything. Just the burger, medium rare, with some mayonnaise on the side. The waitress asked if I wanted fries. I said no.
 
I watched the cook throw this machine-formed patty on the grill, and saw him salt it enough to help out the ocean. I then waited and waited and waited. He cooked it on one side for just over seven minutes, then flipped it and cooked it for another ten minutes before adding the slice of cheese, and cooking it for three or four more minutes.
 
When it was finally served to me it was accompanied by fries. I had to ask the waitress for mayonnaise, and she gave me one of those little plastic squeeze packets. Needless to say, the burger was well, well done and as dry as sawdust. I ate a couple of bites, finished my glass of sweet tea and went to pay the check. Turns out the cheeseburger was eight dollars and the tea was two dollars.
 
Oh, and they had a little card in a stand in front of me on the counter showing how much to tip for various amounts.
 
At least I know now why I hardly ever see any cars parked there when I go by.
 
I should have stopped at Dee's Diner near Nelsonville. The food would have been just as bad, but it would have been a lot cheaper.
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