Things that you learn in the South:
A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
Jawl-P? means Did y'all go to the bathroom?
People actually grow and eat okra.
Fixinto is one word. It means I'm fixing to do that.
There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
We talk slower cause it's too hot to waste engery
We don't understand folks that talk fast for the same reason.
The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning Did you eat?
You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
Ya'll is singular, all ya'll is plural.
You measure distance in minutes.
You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
You know what a DAWG is.
You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.|
You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony's, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motorsports, and gossip.
The first day of deer season is a holiday.
You know what a hissy fit is.
Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin |Wal-Martin' or off to Wally World.
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH. If ya wanna, ya could just send it to make a friend laugh cause if your REALLY from the South ya already know the best kept secret |in the whole Country. Ya have to be from & live here to know what it is.
<message edited by Foodbme on Tue, 06/21/11 5:23 PM>