warning warning bad food ahead

I seem to remember this being posted before. Maybe I dreamed it, cause it's not in search.

What are the warning signs when you pull up to a new place it will be bad???

For me:

It rhymes (Rick's stix)

Uses abbreviations and mis-spelling like chix

The sign says PIZZA CLAMS TACOS SCALLOPS RIBS CHICKEN

No one in there under 70 years old

No one in there (H Salt Fish and Chips...always empty.)

the servers are wearing costumes, like cute pirates


(PS I just might blog your answers - be forewarned)

A restaurant going to be when when:

1. You see the cook standing outide smoking.
2. The rest rooms have signs saying, "Out of Order."
3. There are pictures of food on the menu.
4 You see an ambulance transporting an entire family from the establishment.
5. The parking lot is filled with abandoned cars with no license plates.
6. A faded "For Sale" sign is in the front window.
7. Employees are arguing for all to see and hear.
8. The entire wait staff is coughing and sneezing.
9. The place is empty all day long.
10. There are still remnants of "Closed by Health Dept" stickers on the front door.
11. There's crime scene tape tape at table 1.
12. Employees are wearing orange tops lettered "DOC."
13. The lot is filled with police cars, but the police aren't there for the food.
14. You see six vans from both Orkin and Terminix in the parking lot.

CSD

Can't top those by CSD, really funny stuff. But there are a couple of things that make me wish I'd stopped somewhere else:

1. There is a big HELP WANTED sign in the window.
2. There is a sign on the door saying "No Pacemakers, Microwave in Use."
3. The menu reads "Coffee 1.25, refills .75.
4. A sign on the door reads "No guns or knives allowed inside."

Those are hilarious!

I once went to a bar/restaurant in the desert with a "no guns or knives" sign that had been amended to add "No kung fu".

Elise,
Actually there is a restaurant that the Sterns have reviewed here, Keaton's BBQ in Cleveland NC, that has that very sign. Keaton's is sort of in my neck of the woods (about 20 miles away), and I have been there. The chicken and the mac'n cheese are to die for, but it is definetly not your typical small town diner-type place. It's one of those plumb-nearly places..plumb off the road, and nearly out of the county, and I think at one time it could get sort of wild there at night. They have all kinds of signs up in there; one says "NO FOOD SERVED INSIDE AFTER 9PM," and one on the front door that reads "NO GUNS OR KNIVES INSIDE UNLESS YOU ARE LAW ENFORCEMENT."

quote:

Originally posted by chicagostyledog



1. You see the cook standing outide smoking.

I was in Winchester, KY, on my way to Red River Gorge, looking for a place to eat and have a drink. There was a restaurant/bar on the main drag, and when we looked in the window, you could see the cook standing over the flat top grill, cooking hamburgers, with a cigarette hanging from his mouth.

Needless to say, we didn't go in.

quote:

Originally posted by EliseT


The sign says PIZZA CLAMS TACOS SCALLOPS RIBS CHICKEN

I'm ALWAYS leery of places with a huge menu of dissimilar items.

A County Health Department restaurant inspection placard with a "C" on it. Or worse.

I always thought Philadelphia neighborhoods were so nostalgic.Seems like on every corner there is a store that sells ice cream.I was pretty shocked though,when the first one I went into on a broiling July day there was a beefy,sweaty pits guy in a wife-beater undershirt dipping the ice cream.Geezzzzz.

hey billfish, i was just gonna post this: when you go inside a restaurant and the cook has a sleeveless shirt and you can see all his hairy underarms. gross.

I once heard the cook sneeze in a little shack before I placed my order and I just walked out. I know sneezing is normal, but I couldn't take it.

When you see the waitress scraping some hardened egg off a plate before some toast is placed on it............I got out of that diner quickly!

Several employees standing around at the front help while there are tables that still have food and dishes on them, tables that need to be wiped, etc.

Oh, another one that i thought of as I drove around today:
when a building has been at least 4 different restaurants in 3 years or so. This new mexican restaurant just opened up at this place that used to be a mexican restaurant, a vietnamese, thai, and now again a mexican restaurant. Nope, I won't even bother going in those places.

When you order a beer and the server asks "What flavor?"

When a wet dog dripping with snow walks through the dining room and out into the kitchen


When your party has 4 orders of fried chicken and you hear someone in the kitchen yell out, "Run to the store for some Crisco.................we have 4 orders of fried chicken."

When you go to this small restaurant and order a salad to start and see the waitress pull a head of lettuce out of cooler and start pulling it apart and putting it a bowl.

When you have ordered a salad without onions (and have told the waitress that you have severe allergy) and she returns with your salad loaded with onion slices. When you complain, she pulls the onions off the offending salad with her fingers and hands you the salad and says "Here we go."

When you order pancakes in the middle of a maple syrup producing region and they bring you Log Cabin for your pancakes.

When you order "the fresh fish special" and they bring you a perfect square of fish right out of a frozen food bag.

Goodness, I live in Winchester, Ky. Can you give me the name of the restaurant of the smoking cook? Gross!!

When the waitress has a visible wound on her serving hand.

I once watched an employee lick his fingers before putting in coffee filters...to make them come apart...it how ever parted me from the store.

Another time I watched (shelter your children from this one) a server dig for at least five minutes for what must have been a difficult booger. Two dollars on the table and out the door.

I once saw a sign at a place that read, "We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone." Good pancakes though. Whom I kiddin pancakes are always good.

This is opposite of the topic but:

Years ago one of our local clubs had a sign out front for their upcoming musical acts for the weekend

Thursday Friday

Ragin River

Saturday

Muddy Waters

They had a cheeseburger that was beyond belief, and had some decent music every now and then.

Any place that repeatedly has a sign

experienced cook needed

or

experienced server needed

There is a local place that has had a sign up off and on since they opened for an eaperienced cook

his last sign was

experienced serious cook wanted

The cooks and waitstaff are ordering take out delivery!

quote:

Originally posted by EliseT

I seem to remember this being posted before. Maybe I dreamed it, cause it's not in search.

What are the warning signs when you pull up to a new place it will be bad???

For me:

No one in there under 70 years old

I have to disagree with that. You will rarely find anyone under the age of 70 at some of the fine, excellent small town cafes in the Midwest and even less at the few remaining Kosher Style Delis in the NYC area and that's because either a- the younger folks are all at the chains or b- they've severed ties for traditional fare (mostly because of an irrational embarrasment or shame) and only want to head to the "scene/be seen let's pretend we're in So Ho" establishments.

They feature roast beef with au jus and kosher cheeseburgers.